Short Tooted Poems

Horn Haiku. 

reporters tooted 
out by trump had been booted 
highly disputed

Jim Horn

How about hearing a Horn haiku?...

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Little leprechaun is fighting mad
Irish of course, so big and bad
Someone tooted in his beer
Swung around and used their rear
He’s determined to make others sad...

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I once knew a lad who played the cornet
Tooted ‘til he broke out in a cold sweat
He met a strumpet
Who liked his trumpet
He is blowing his heart out for her yet

June 3, 2021...

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One of the theories I haven't quite grasped
Is quantum physics, it has a tendency to leave me aghast
Now I ain't stupid
Oops sorry, I just tooted
We all must let fly or have a traffic jam in the ass...

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The cheese ball was delicious but on Christmas Eve 
at the sleepover bro tooted without reprieve 
sister cried, " please use the washroom, Steve "  
" Sorry sis, "it's a lonely fart that I just can't retrieve

Dec 25, 2021...

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There was an old lady from Ghent
Who tooted wherever she went
Sent up a cloud
Sometimes quite loud
And she never attracted a gent.

written July 10, 2021
FIRST PLACE WINNER
Brian Strand's Contest
Poetry Soup
August 2, 2021...

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              I once thought I was a renaissance man
               Who needed sophistication in my plan.
              Joy seemed to reside on the highest bar
         One day I unexpectedly tooted and felt pure delight
        And I realized joy is free and right there in plain sight.
...

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She drank all the water in the first five seas.
She burped and tooted and started to wheeze.
The pirate ships began to toss and turn.
Driftwood came in by the hundreds to burn.

She released it all on a quick exhale.
The boats and barges ran up a strong gale.
The beaches were flooded, sunbathers were mad.
She climbed to the top of a lighthouse and lived out her sad....

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Sunrise comes for me
Buildings shade halts it’s progress
Sucky city life


My city sunset
Reflected off the buildings
Awesome to behold


Prey in the city
variety a plenty
Beware the stalkers


She sleeps peacefully
I watch admiring her
She tooted sweetly


Lost is my lover
She lays next to me in sleep
Distance is profound


Here my princess l
Innocent our love
Profound is the gap...

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The second house this year to go under in Atlantic City.
This is a scenario that does not look too pretty.
A once venerable establishment will soon be history.
The future of gaming is now obscured with doubt.
In the big crap game of business, they have just sevened-out.
We will be bidding farewell to the esteemed Showboat.
They have tooted their last horn with a sour note.
After August 31, that will be all she wrote.

from a local news story
...

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