Short Tater Poems

Devils ‘Tater patch
Hungry from hiking hills
Not a single spud...

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Ty Tot Ty Taw Tay Tater Tat
Ty Tid! Ty Tid!
Ty Taw Tay Tater Tat!...

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Lately when I take a poop

It comes out just like tater soup

I don't even have to bribe her

Guess I'm getting too much fiber...

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Eat a tater, alligator
Stupid smile, crocodile
See you later, Mater-Pater
After while, stinking pile.

Minotaur and Gabriel
Monitor and Gariel
Eat the layman, pretty cayman
Quite the romp, in the swamp....

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Try my best to remain Silent like my pal overseas
Don't know what's happening, something's up his sleeve
Peculiar in nature
A psychological tater
Or is he just like us guys, full of poop and debris ...

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Do you ever act on impulse and regret it later
It's a common affliction among humans on life's elevator
Leads to a nasty result
A result not too adult
Requires much time and effort repairing your tater...

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"Old Poppin Johnny", plowing rows and smoking away
                       As far as the eyes of a tater can see and the ears of corn hear
                         From daylight until dark, it has been a long day "John Deere"...

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The weight of all the ants in the world is greater
Than all us humans, think someone's off their tater
How does one figure this out
Maybe it's just a thereabout
Or some guy spends his life counting ants and us gladiators...

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I'm crying in my beer for good reason

     Super Bowl's the last game of the season

          No more tater chips and beer

               What am I to do all year

                    Except watch reruns of Jackie Gleason

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Right Reserved

Entry for Royal Trevino's "Super Bowl Sunday" Contest...

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What she needs,
I simply can't provide
I'm just small potatoes to her
She wants to live big,
live first class
Live luxuriously
Those designer shoes she desires,
oh my,
would cost a week's salary
When a woman think you're small potatoes,
she don't think much about you
When she only has eyes for the big spuds,
find another girl who loves tater tots too...

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DIDN'T TELL YOU TO PICK DOS MATERS
AND DIG DOS TATERS
YOU OUT DARE DIGGING THE MATERS
AND PICKIN UP TATERS OFF THE GROUND
STOP YOU FLOOKIN DAFFY DOOTIN
AND PICK DOS MATERS OUT THE PATCH
DOLL-GIFT GOOFIN
WHEN YOU SHOULD BE GROUPIN GREEN MATERS
RED MATERS
GREEN MATER
RED MATERS
GREEN MATERS
YOU TRYIN TO DIG THE MATERS
OUT THE GROUND
GREEN MATER
RED MATER
HOT POT TATER
HOT POT TATERS
YOU TRYIN TO DIG THE MATERS OUT THE GROUND!...

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Do,Doo-Doo, Do
I got Something for you
Are you hungry or thirsty
What will it be
I got more than meets the Eyes
Tater chips that taste like french fries
Candy, Soda and Gum
Now, who wants some
And, it's All you can eat
Do, Doo-Doo, Do
Crunch N Munch
A whole bag bunch
Do, Doo-Doo, Do
All day through
Just for you
What's on your mind
Coca-Cola, Gingerale, Rock Creek Lime
With a Big Mama or two
Do, Doo-Doo, Do
I got 'Em all for you...

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Tit had a hissy fit and called tat fat
while tat apologized after the fact
tit kept egging him on with rude remarks
while tat used tact leaving tit in the dark

Tit called tat names all night and day
till she saw tat and their cat Tater Tot at play
tat said I would prefer not to play tit for tat
but would rather play tic tac toe with the cat

With that tit realized that tit for tat was a useless attack
finally forgiving tat for eating all of her tic tac's


3-19-18...

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Small of frame, cute as a button, and brave as a miniature tin soldier.
In comparing characteristics between you and your sisters, throughout the years 
and your experiences, you were or became the bolder.
Facing bully trashed mouthed giants shocked all of us.
For, there was no violence.
Including the bully himself was shocked into silence.
Stature like a tater tot and confidence piled high like a pancake stacker.
I loved you great auntie, my adorable and gutsy firecracker....

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