Short Midlands Poems

The water, sandy shore, lush hills, swaying trees, the smart lakeside houses and 

boated fishermen in the breeze from the Spit of the largest reservoir in England's 

smallest county completed our beautiful Spring day in the Midlands....

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There is a pub in the Midlands
Which goes by a fishy name.
Be careful what you say in there.
Or you won't be let in again.

It won't be swearing that'll get you barred
Or the starting of a fight
But suggestions to improve the beer.
Or compliments when it's right.

So when next in Leicester
Try a friendly pub instead
The place many recommend
Is the good old Kings Head....

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Facebook, my wall, not at all
Mini Digger hire £75, same day delivery in the Midlands
Join couples dating agency, meet new friends
Buy Horny Goat Weed to spice up your love life and avoid erectile disfunction
Which affects two out of four men, which is half of all
Facebook, my wall, not at all

Ah, a red light, I have a message, maybe from a friend
Mini digger hire, £75, same day delivery in the Midlands...

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Dinner Date or Date for Dinner?
When the harvest moon is full and bright,
And the wolf bane blooms on an autumn night,
If the guy whose kiss used to make you swoon
Starts to lick his lips and howl at the moon,
You'd best decline if he asks you out for a bite.

A Midlands Urban Legend
A village somewhere in the Midlands
Was harassed by a bodiless dead man,
But sans charger or steed,
How could they, indeed,
Be afraid of a lone horseless headman?...

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