Short Hayseed Poems

I won a lunch for two with Tom Sawyer
And there he was waiting in the foyer 
  He wore his best old straw hat
  But was told "You can't wear that" 
Good thing I'm a hayseed defense lawyer...

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Boa, Constrictor and Anaconda were out on a slither.
They saw some animals up ahead, yonder, some hither.
I’ll get the baby.
I’ll get the hayseed.
With greedy appetites all three snakes were a quiver....

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handsome Harry hastily harnessed hazardous hayseed Hank
heightening his hellish heebie-jeebies.
Hank helped Harry handle hordes of high-spirited hitchhikers
heaping a hodgepodge of hocus pocus on Honey,
Hannibal’s handsomest hog...

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Call me hayseed, bumpkin, hillbilly, or crazy hick
Fresh inspiring country air surrounds me thick
I could run outside naked if I wanted
I live where deer and wild turkey are hunted

Wild boars wander up to my yard to root
My garden has veggies, my trees bear fruit
The sun I see is better than most ever find
Taking me away from the country would be unkind...

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Haggard honey-loving homies held Hank’s hamhocks hostage 
He hitched his hayrack, having habitual hints hint his huffiness.
Harry harbored horrifically hideous habits, hissing his heebe-jeebies.
Hangdog Hilda hesitated, having heard Hale hinting Harry’s holiness.
Huffy hummingbird Helen  hindered Happenstance Hilda’s hayseed habits. 
Himalayan Herbert, hayseed harboring hazardous hags, hid Hilda and Helen.
Hallowed horses having hatpins hissed, having had hobo handy hangers help....

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