Short Darned Poems

Oh, those darned things are
Never there when I need them!
Always somewhere else.
Usually left idle
In that moment I forget....

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Cough medicine? (CRAP...No re-fill!)
See a doctor? (DARNED if I will!)
I'm achin' to the toes
(Got a code in my doze)
Where the HECK did I hide the Ny-Quil?...

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We all packed up and went to the zoo
Saw lions, tigers and even a gnu
And the funniest face
In the whole darned place
Was a monkey that looked just like you

For the Zoo contest...

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I was going to buy you flowers for this day
maybe some roses, tulips, or a daffodil.
Instead, we had to pay that darned electric bill.
Deciding to stay warm instead of some bouquet....

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He looked so darned small at the plate
For the pitch he just couldn't wait
Got a high fast ball
He swung for the wall
You'r out! But to mom he did great!


For the Favorite Sport contest.......

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The common folk loved their hero Robin Hood
Who lived with his band deep in the mysterious wood
He took from the rich and gave to the poor
Needless to say, it made the sheriff pretty darned sore.....

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Jill Biden decides, 'I'll open my purse' 
  Says gently, 'Honey, your mind's getting worse'
    Joe said, 'Wutcha mean?'
    'My brain is still keen
  It's my loose lips that are such a darned curse!'...

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In the tall grass the rabbit tried to hide
"I'm so darned clever," he thought with great pride
His thinking was wrong
His ears were too long
"Run rabbit, run!" the laughing fox cried...


For the Rabbit contest.....

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To sit beside her and talk
Even holding hands as we walk
     Sharing seasonal kisses
     Are my dreams and my wishes
Beep beep! damn the darned alarm clock







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-3.php...

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Jumpers, darned with wool
Trousers, patched for school;
Shoes scuffed,left unlaced
Teeth framed in metal brace;
Dripping noses and chilblains,
Scarfs and finger mitts
Ears muffled against the chill
Ffee milk solid on the sill....

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I live on the West Coast
  and I try not to boast

But we've no real need
  for highly coveted 'PPE'

Out here it's not news
  that the problem's not flus

It's the darned ubiquitous poop
  ~ We need Poop Protection Scoops!...

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I'm a social guy
  who used to be shy
I talk so much, I put my tongue on a diet
  hard to believe that I used to be quiet

I got so darned fat
  only my feet are flat
Glad that 39's not very old
  at least, that's what I'm told...

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Daffodill sheer trumpets
Dearest friendships you gift
Doused miles of sweet scent                      
Dozens charm in bouquets    
Darned bright in raven hair
Deck gardens in yellow                                
Delicate fresh flower...

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BUMBLEBEE
YOU OR ME…
Who’ve seen the worse
that Life is so darned short?

BUMBLEBEE,
UNLIKE ME-
Why (in blame) burst
for what is meant to be?

O BUMBLEBEE
MY DARLING- BE!
For, heaven is no distance
for a bee, that spreads its wing!...

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Skinned knees and darned socks
Hand me down clothes the lot
Playtime under the sun
Backyard cricket when the day is done

No need to be the best
Just join in with the rest
Go to bed dog tired
60s Summer time as we desired.

© Paul Warren Poetry...

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Busty Betty beguiled the besotted boys
Painfully plain Polly puzzled over her plight
Dapper Dan discovered the delights of drive-ins
Blushing busty Betty before long began to bulge 
Polly perceived  her problem and preceded
To point the poor papa and his problem to the priest...

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Mr McClean built a large rooster machine.
Some comments he heard were pretty darned mean.
His wife was tired of hearing “that weirdo McClean”

He did not care, he could readily be seen
Cruising the avenue alongside a bike-riding teen
Showing them up with his speedy rooster machine....

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a re-post inspired by Janice's contest

WINTER '47

Jumpers, darned with wool
Trousers, patched for school;
Shoes scuffed,left unlaced
Teeth framed in metal brace;
Dripping noses and chilblains,
Scarfs and finger mitts
Ears muffled against the chill
Free milk solid on the sill....

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Drat, my trousers are tight!
Damned uncomfortable -
Darned zipper won't go up.
Donuts don’t help I guess!
Do I continue to
Delude myself and ask
Don't clothes shrink in the wash?

08~28~16

Checked with how many syllables

D Pleiades Contest
Sponsored by Kim Merryman...

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What do I write about?
Who do I tell?
They've taken my reason
To rant and to yell.

My package delivered 
I feel a relief
They've taken my poetry
That darned little theif.

I should feel joyful,
I should feel swell, 
But I tell you with candor
I feel just like .....









Dancing...

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Jumpers
     darned with wool
Trousers
      patched for school
Shoes scuffed
          left unlaced
Teeth frame
      in metal brace
Dripping noses &
               chilblains
Scarfs &
   finger mitts
Ears muffled 
             against the chill
Free school milk 
       solid on the sill.


repost from 2007...

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The Capitol’s a scary place to be.
It’s overrun by noisy, wild-eyed critters.
These hordes are a surreal sight to see,
with actions that give some of us the jitters!

Just thinking of them is so darned depressing.
Their antics recent news reports are stressing.
Compared to them, cicadas are a blessing!


June 11, 2021...

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C arefree to an extent, 
A mbitious and analitical
P retty darned straightforeward
R arely very neatly coiffed
I ce cream sundaes are my favourite
C rafty and creative - okay, maybe a tad bit then!
O pen and understanding, to lend an ear
R emotely direction impaired, but do not fear
N autically challenged, do not even go there!...

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When I needn’t bother to write a phrase,
I can think of a rhyme in a dozen ways.
But when I have to, I sometimes find
I have to think, to use my mind.
I find it like biology class,
For there we get confused so fast.
We have a time telling xylem from phloem--
But I’ll be darned!  I’ve written a poem!


This one I wrote in high school and it was published in a student project booklet....

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Hung my Christmas sock
Darned neatly for the mantel
So Santa could leave
Nuts, fruit maybe peppermint 
Winter often harshly cold

Never wanted much
Just a big red tricycle
To ride my sister
Around on the long front porch
Red tricycle was missing

Dad quickly vanished
Had owner to open store 
On Christmas morning
Santa left it on front porch
Could not stuff into stocking

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey...

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