Short Collection Plate Poems

Beside the last pew, 
a chipped white collection plate.
A ghostly blessing
if you toss a modern coin
through time and the barred front door....

Read More

Whilst singing praises to the Lord
Collection plate passed and he scored
Enough for a brew
With a coin or two
Whatever the Lord could afford...

Read More

On Sundays, the preachers will preach
And Sunday School Teachers will teach
If that does not grate
The Collection Plate
Will tempt everyone to the beach!...

Read More

Sly pastor, his wife had a bust,
One charging the pews with much lust;
Collection plate filled,
With cash overspilled,
Once pastor ruled, pass it, she must....

Read More

Trump went to church to prey today
The Collection Plate passed his way
Quick as an elf
He helped himself
"Only a fool gives cash away!"

So many people sit and grouse
Our POTUS is a lowlife louse
Let Trump emote!
Get out and vote!
"Trump goes potty at The White House!"...

Read More

Asked if they believed in the Hereafter

     Amens echoed from every rafter

          The preacher rejoiced

               Then this plea he voiced

                    "Fill up the collection plate hereafter!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

Read More

PREACHER

the preacher explains
as he travels tracks on his palm
he is on god’s path
helter-skelter tracks indeed!
the midnight express toots warning

reverend smith
with his superior air
mounts the podium
from the loft i can see
through the tear     his underwear

after sunday service
a hundred dollar bill in the collection plate
“praise the lord!” says smith
to himself     quietly covering it
with a five dollar bill

Dave Austin...

Read More

Stained glass Christ
a half @ssed confession or two
collection plate duets
death rattles in the pew.

Misery in the pew
virgins sucking on their vice
gossip spreads the news
over stained glass mice.

The cutters on the slice
blood soaked plastic Christ
sipping whisky over dirty lies
rolling a pair of blank faced dice.

Chained to the dark side of the room
with jesters and the loons
collection plate duets 
with a stained-glass rapist 
crouching down in darkened pew....

Read More