Short Benny Poems

Benjamin Kubelsky
Who became Jack Benny
Almost didn't change his name
   ~ It cost a penny!...

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Benny, Benny king of chicks
Peck this corn from between my toes
The first to run "chicken"
Gets fried....

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Benny O Bean stole a kingpin
Kept it secret in the cabin
  Wife Sarah was a dork
  And loved the grunter pork
And re-stole the pin for cookin'...

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Benny beat the Beast, 
Busted the Baseball, 
Became Smalls Bud, 
Brings his Best, 
Breathes in Baseball
Benny was a hero
But Benny Became a legend
Become a Benny...

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There once was an 
old man named 
Benny.
Who never in life 
saw a penny.
When once saw him 
dollar,
he fainted in a hollar.
O poorest! the old 
man named Benny....

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Benny B was well known as a crowder
And today he craved a bowl of clam chowder
The waitress with a frown
Said "the chowder's all gone"
Ben threw a tantrum, whining all the louder...

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SO or Silent One who is known to all
Our British connection, a mysterious butterball
Calls me Benny Hill
A connection if you will
Along with Python, made us giggle and guffaw...

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SO or Silent One who is known to all
Our British connection, a mysterious butterball
Calls me Benny Hill
A connection if you will
Along with Python, made us giggle and guffaw...

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Many Brits are good friends of mine
A Benny Hill thing, ten times out of nine
My hero all the way through
Went to the same silly school
When censors sleep, my naughtiness shines...

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Was told my humor reminds them of Benny Hill
But a Canadian version, what an enormous thrill
He was known for smut
That's how I'm cut
Creating sexual exploits for the guffaws they instill...

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It's Benny Hill here entertaining you all
With antics so silly, hilarious with falls
Irreverent without doubt
Scantily clad ladies throughout
Proud to be associated with this hilarious guffaw...

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It's Benny Hill here entertaining you all
With antics so silly, hilarious with falls
Irreverent without doubt
Scantily clad ladies throughout
Proud to be associated with this hilarious guffaw...

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Benny was a high living’ bon vivant
Who ran around with his crazy old aunt
They traveled many countries afar
Playing Spanish flamenco guitar
Until she married a man named Ben Brandt

written September 30, 2021...

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This guy prides himself in speaking gibberish
Multilingual, proud along with my limericks
Went to Benny Hill school
For underdeveloped fools
Passed with flying colours, ended up the class validick...

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Remember Jack Benny, but hold your applause
for the master of the pregnant pause
   'Your money or your life, Mr. Benny?!'
    Folds his arms, rolls his eyes ~ Chuckles, then Guffaws!
                    ...Applause!...

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 Miracle dinner

Benny had gambled away his last buck
Hungry and couldn't believe his ill luck
He fell down and prayed
His neighbour's bird strayed
For dinner, he had a dish of roast duck!

July 2, 2017

...

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Woody would if he could,
Jimmy did like he should,
Timmy just pulled down his hood,
Benny was so very good.

All the boys did the test,
Two did better than the rest,
Benny's result was the best,
Two boys think Maths is a pest....

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The Honeymooners
  Burns & Allen
Mister Ed, Mork & Mindy
  My Favorite Martian, My Three Sons

Sergeant Bilko, Dobie Gillis
  O, for the shows that used to thrill us
You Bet Your Life, the Jack Benny Show
  I can't list more ~ they're all I know...

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Little Benny Ben told Roald Amundsen
                     Let's go to South Pole with my pretty hen
                               The hen was very stocky
                           Came to Ben with gait low-key
                          Asked for a diary and a gel pen...

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Mister Jack Benny was a funny fellow indeed

   He played a mean violin, though a bit off-keyed

      'Tis said that he was so tight with his bountiful purse

         That to part with his moolah he was very averse

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

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Benito Mussolini was known to folks in Italo as Il Duce.

   But they became disenchanted and hanged him with a noosey!

He was strung upside down with Clara Petacci his moll!

   'Twas an ignominious finale for his closing curtain call!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

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Betty Barbara Bailey borrowed a bright blue bather from from Benny B. Brooks 
bathroom bashful Betty wore a bright blue biodegradable bikini for  
Benny B. Brooks , who was actually Betty Barbara Bailey , 
a big, beautiful, bodacious, booty-licious boy/girl . 


For contest : Tongue Twister 

December 29, 2020...

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Born and bred ko kasi that built the boundaries that made me bold and brave with...
Everlasting memories that created the fuel for my natural elegance of self entered and electric self esteem...
Not just and ordinary nothing but a...
Narcotic that arouses not normal expressions but...
Yet leaving one yearning and yellow forward going without yielding!...

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The path of the righteous man

Is beset on either side

Of the torrential river rapids

But i have all the horses on my side

And there are no more fish left to eat

Since the water turned into blood

To be fed upon by a swarm of locusts

In the delta that God forsake

Until the only thing apart from sand left

Was an apparition or a mirage

Of an oasis in a desert...

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Rock-a-bye baby in the treetops
Play hide-and-go-seek with me
We're a great big family
 But I'm a child no more
When sleeping I snore
I've counted to ten 
And cried
And died
At the same time I lied
Kitty and Benny sitting in a tree
Happy as can be
Rock-a-bye baby in the treetops
The wind's gonna blow me
The tree's gonna throw me
And down will I fall
So down will come baby
Cradle and all...

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