From the moon to the mountains, in grains of sand,
the everyday transformation and exile,
the joy of returning home
rests upon my walking.
Do not
put Sellotape
over it anymore.
One Monday,
at the window of rain,
let the words
that were never spoken
stay with me too,
some rain-soaked
names, some
sunlight that never
made it home.
Leave the door
open, in case
she ever
comes back
to a blurred life.
I will live
with a little courage
in this hazy life.
It raises goosebumps,
the blunt
sky blooms
with stars.
I don't know why
I sit and sit,
waiting, searching,
brush in hand,
looking this way and that.
You have kept so much suspicion
in your eyes.
Why?
I am only a little to the north,
a little to the south,
in surrender.
I remember the words I wrote;
most of them,
some of them.
Angry scrawls spewing out;
a pen scratching
spitting ink.
Blood from my eyes
attacking the note.
Bourbon spilling
on a pounded table;
the scent of livid indignation
saturating the paper.
Crumpled, tossed,
retrieved, flattened,
torn apart.
Abruptly
stuck together
with yellowed sellotape;
captured fingerprints
and pubic hairs.
The envelope sealed
with a finger
moistened
by bitter tears.
Dropped into a postbox
with smug satisfaction.
Beware of what starts with a hiss and a roar,
As it is sure to soon sport, a broken oar,
With sellotape being sent for,
To cover up what is an obvious flaw.
Yes beware what starts with a hiss and a roar,
As something could be rotten to the core,
With those afraid of being shown the door,
Looking to cover up that flaw.
Beware of what starts with a hiss and a roar,
As it is you and me who will have to pay the more,
When the cover up is no more,
If those who knew about the flaw,
But kept going using an oar,
That should never have left the store,
Manage to sneak out the door.
Guys eyeing a staggering ransom
And willing to unleash the gruesome
The senders to follow their uncomfortable instructions
Or get ready for the unpleasant ructions.
In a matter of minutes gagging protesting lips
On disobedient backs landing punitive whips
A chaining of the resisting limb,
Hopes of rescue making slim.
In unthinkable venue detaining their captive
Before him testing their firearms bloody active
Any twist or turn attracting a warning shot
Unplanned funny moments punches tropically hot.
A hostage wishes things won't be savage
A dumping all day long like garbage,
His voice at the mercy of silencing sellotape
Body to the immovable tied against escape.
Kidnappers like bandits behave
Thesame choices of weapons making
Between knives so razor sharp they can shave
And hand guns that won't injury be faking.
I sealed my mind with sellotape
I’m in a cardboard castle
I wander through the flimsy rooms
Within this fragile parcel
A false sense of security
That this is my protection
A cardboard place in which to hide
Avoiding all reflection
No shadows play upon these walls
To cause my mind confusion
No shafts of light to cheat me here
Or disrupt my illusion
Yet still within I cannot settle
Finding no solace or peace
This place built for sanctuary
Offers no release
No warriors come challenging
No contenders to face
I only fight one battle
The being in this place
You cannot build a castle
With paper chains and leather
And wonder what the secret is
And how it holds together
Without my thoughts to light my mind
The edges break and fray
Without a path to take me on
The corridors are grey
I thought I’d build a castle
To block you from my view
How could I know the truth of it?
I built it out of you.
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