Your obscured heart spouts hatred
Stop!
1/5/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2021
Lying there at Costo in front of the cash
Didn't do it to cause a flurry as to the floor I did crash
First since Feb. last year
Seizures ain't done yet I fear
Well, I'm still breathing 'cept for a sore ass
service dog rory
nine-year-old girl with seizures
she gets her life back
expositions, preminitions
dry-erasers falling from the sky.
but I've got a chalkboard for a
raincoat and a half dozen reasons
to change my expression.
synthetic saliva in some neon colored
sharpie highlighters.
misplaced emphasis in shades of
bright yellow..
verbs and pronouns ask all the questions,
to vulgar to be put into print..
once an epileptic discourse unraveled and convulsed
beautifully off of my tongue.
sitting in the corner shaking violently
at the wrist. slumping at a computer
writing poetry with a pocket full of
felt tipped markers.
watching the clock turn slowly
at night shift in a breakroom.
stealing away to heaven in a fit
under the hum of some ballis
lights.
Single scream long, loud
gurgling,
desk shaking
falling to floor
convulsing
moaning noises
She's not okay
running
getting help, fast
please help her
grunting
groaning
She's not okay
She's not okay
someone move the desks
crying
Cany you hear me
Come back
get help
call her parents
everyone out of the room
She's not okay
She's not okay
little noises
blue lips
it's not her lipstick
hopeless feeling
all through the day
She's not okay
She's not okay
She's not okay
seizure
The pages flipped as the words wrapped around my brain
Like a rainbowed hurricane
Faster the colors embedded inside of my head
While I shook in bed
An intake of breath
After I lay awake from my fitful rage
Locked in a cage
Stuck in an eternal dance of death
Demonic forces lay only waiting to be awakened.
My nerves still remain unshakened
Only wanting to escape
Seeing through new eyes that only see distorted shapes
Clarity
Lost in my own disparity
I'm binded to this nightmare
serenity is my one and only prayer
In this game I am the one and only player
The shoots and ladders lead me further into my own isolation
Numbness is the only sensation
Sleep is my only medication
Searching for the escape route
This loneliness I could do without
Full of my own uncertainty and doubt
Is this a sign
From the devine
To a time where control was mine
Will all change in time?
Waiting for our hands to become intertwined
Pulled out from the deep recluse of my mind
You rescued me
My thoughts no longer askewed
The inner workings no longer feud
Clarity has found me
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