when lightning struck all fuses melted in the fire
no more circuit breakers to interrupt the inevitable
stillness loneliness darkness and necessary change
reflections without light can be very illuminating
at first the images showed shattered past and emptiness
fear of whether a mosaic of joy could ever reemerge
doubts and resentments clouded sound judgement
while emotions played inner tunes of havoc and angst
and yet as introspection reached out to a future
tentative sounds of happiness crept in once again
only he himself would shed the load of the past
and loosen the weight in his body mind and spirit
and there out of nothing came hope
for peace harmony and justice
he knows only too well that he cannot control
events situations nor other people
only has the choice of how to respond
wishing wanting demanding procrastinating
had got him into his own distorted shadows
to the brink of an abyss near a canyon of tears
anger resentments and fears threatened all values
yet love tolerance compassion and self-respect
brought him closer to reality and the chance for a future
he does not wish to fight any longer
but is ready to stand up tall for himself
and now what seemed to be crumbling
a once beautiful mosaic turned into tatters and shards
offers building blocks for healing and recovery
in his meditations he saw faint images
of Munch’s Scream and Gaugin’s exotic beauties
surprisingly no Guernica of Picasso
but the peace doves are present
songs are no eulogy any longer
and hope came out faith and surrender
he thought that he had reached another rock bottom
paused meditated and prayed on events out of his control
there was still a gaping hole waiting to swallow him though
but he held on to the edges to avoid the void and oblivion
his heart ached but with rational thinking fairly intact
he reached out for the soul in honest spiritual connection
surrendered completely and asked for justice and fairness
for peace serenity courage and the wisdom of the Vital Force
with that he could image a future of freedom and growth
at least some glimpse of such a miracle to happen
all he had to do was not stand in his own way
to allow for a rain bow to come when the tempest has passed
he felt no anger nor resentments within his own disappointment
humbly requested for his character defects to be dissolved
and promised to put into action in all his struggling affairs
faith without work is dead and he wanted to live and stop digging
Sometimes plans have many parts;
Not all will you embrace.
Yet if you’re lucky, with some smarts,
They might fall into place.
A little leeway might just pave
The way to make things work
And compromise could help to stave
Resentments which might lurk.
Too often people won’t engage
In planning’s give and take,
The lack of which can set the stage
For someone’s heart to break.
Yet thinking every aspect through
Of all suggestions made
Can shine a light of hope in lieu
Of hurts that might pervade.
In the gardens of shadows, where resentments bloom like poppies,
Politics becomes an art of illusions, a theater of masks.
The despotism of the masses dances on the invisible strings of time,
And conservatism and liberalism are just faded echoes.
Partisans pour their blame like a river of ink on dry paper,
Blaming the victorious shadows that float like clouds of smoke.
But the true sculptors of these idols are the ravenous masses,
Who build their leaders from the illusory clay of desires.
In democracy, where ignorance triumphs like a soundless orchestra,
Hysteria becomes the queen of the silent ball, dancing to the rhythm of madness.
The siren songs of the past are just forgotten whispers,
In a world where the light of truth is a trembling flame.
Paradox floats like an eagle in the sky of sleeping consciousness,
And the melancholic magic of time erases the boundaries of reality.
In this labyrinth of the mind, we find fragments of eternity,
Lost in the hourglass of the world, like sand silently flowing.
When I was young, the holidays
Were filled with fun and food.
We spent the day with relatives,
All in a happy mood.
At least, that’s how it seemed to me -
My cousins and my brothers
Enjoyed the time we got to spend
Just hanging with the others.
Of course, I never thought of
What the grown-ups had to say -
The cleaning and the cooking
And rambunctious kids - Oy vey!
The hours in the temple
Followed by a home-made meal
And perhaps there were resentments,
Some unable to conceal.
Then the clean-up and the travel
As exhaustion staked its claim.
Still, the warm embraces reaffirmed
That all were glad they came.
Today I am the grown-up
And my eyes are opened wide
As I view the coming holidays
From the much-less magic side.
I'm sitting at home but living rent free in your head.
Your thoughts scream for help so I'll pay some rent instead.
The payment's not money, just the hated helping a hater.
So I'll help you realize your hateful thoughts as your love translator.
Resentments and jealousy are like poison to your soul.
You're only hurting yourself as you slither back down your hole.
I'm sorry for being brash, I had to put my thoughts in check.
Thoughts lead to feelings which determine how you act next.
How you act and your actions have good and bad consequences.
Now it's your choice, be real or keep your false pretenses.
he liked it black and white with no greys in between
even when cracks appeared so strikingly evident
strictly speaking he preferred pink purple and orange
yet when life gave him lemons the brush would not work
the more he stroked and tarred over ruptures and fractures
uncertainty became elusive and poignantly concise
quite the opposite of what he had bargained for with all
the power delusion distraction insecure fear and despair
he knew that the writing was on the wall and yet
the language was foreign complex and would not reveal
meaning message beauty connotation and guidance
as he was blocked into silence depression resentments
all this had been the relentless story of his life and he
could not bear it any longer seemed to have lost all control
a rational mind portrayed it as the gift of desperation
a way forward towards healing perspective and peace
it was difficult to will positive emotions into effect
matters did not fall into balance but skewed misperceptions
what remained was hope rather than mere expectations
and he carried his burdens into an unpredictable but promising future
the pivot shifted when emptiness gave way
to acceptance that the heart is a treasure chest
of fragrance that comes with perfumed aroma
sweet smelling crises at turning point for love
their union had commenced like pink cotton candy
paradise made in heaven and soft silken sheets
pheromones of adventure passion and longing
inhaled from petals of sentience and youthful desire
as time passed and droughts threated the marriage
resentments fear insecurities and anger resurfaced
and they came to regret not having planted alongside
lavender sage and marigolds to salve and to savour
thwarted by such negligence and self-righteousness
pink blossoms dried up as thorns pierced their hearts
and when they sought refuge in arguments and booze
poison intoxicated what had once been a blessing
cut down to pitiful size at loneliness’ fulcrum
tears alone would not rescue the rose from demise
the rest of such floral narration is written with blood
of salvation and the miraculous gift of honest recovery
She believed her Barbie's and Ken's
had shared a love far more complex
than any feelings they'd expressed --
AND dolls couldn't even self-dress!!!
She knew they were a mistake -
one she wanted them to address.
Her thoughts led to a request -
they both take a fear of change test.
Pleased to speak free, she confessed
being a part of couple failure debris
and held no fear of changing things.
She sensed relief peak as he owned
his tendency to cultivate regrets and
said he'd be more than fine living alone.
Once they aced the test, she at last
felt their tensions loose resentments.
Then they intelligently addressed
the logistics involved in couple deletion.
Next, they tossed their dysfunction map
and then summed up zero further cost
applied in paving a way out of this trap.
She was sure they'd only leveraged crap.
she had attempted to colour in outside of the box
now the silver lining dangled from a broken necklace
suffocated her aspirations oozed discontent and sorrow
the shine had come off and no amount of polish would
erase smudges and impurity nor restore a once lucid soul
reflections tore at her heart and strangled in darkness
precious metal now a neck tie of craving for balance
reprieve from discomfort aberrations and delusions
pendant to be relieved from reversed penchant of life
at first she assigned emotions to one crazy error of judgement
distortion of passion disillusionment or mere false appraisal
yet resentments turned on herself in anger insecurity and fear
her whole mindset had been poisoned inflamed to the core
only complete reconstruction of Self would yield any success
which is when she decided to stop running away to face the truth
invincibility had been a difficult pastime
the flak vest of insecurity and coverups
had managed to inflate anxieties and fears
to the bursting point of impromptu explosion
the festering boil had to be lanced at any cost
for resentments anger hurt and self-harm to subside
a bullet proof illusion was no longer an option
to call it friendly fire would be an understatement
what started as a splinter soon became a red-hot cudgel
incising the mind soul body complex of delusions
yet no more fully detached from valid emotions
he decided that having feeling was better than amnesia
When we are deformed, sad
We feel the need to be protected
With the help of a word
A look, a handshake or a hug
We manage to overcome difficult moments
Hugging cures hatred
Cures resentments
Cures anger and misunderstandings
Cures fatigue and sadness
Brings peace to the heart
Makes peace to the soul.
It was always too late for us
can't be true love with zero trust
...confused
wondering if it was just lust
after not feeling good for so long
it felt too amazing,
for it to be so wrong
but reality hit us extra strong
both wanting the other so badly to be the one
and to finally feel like we found where we belong
even picking out our wedding song
like we didn't already know
that the highs would never block out the lows
holding onto to pain and resentments that we promised we'd let go
purposely hurting eachother
with words of ignorance constantly thrown
like a stabbing a knife into eachothers hearts and souls
more and more distant with every lie told
wanting us so badly,
neither would ever fold
knowing each bluff before it's even sold
something that was once a blazing fire
now feels freezing cold
that hollow love quickly got annoyingly old
convinced you just kept me around
for a warm body to hold
never call the kettle black
it shines inside and out
needs a polish now and then
perspective insight and action
miracles and blessings happen
when the time is right
and the privilege is granted
therefore I dived into the cauldron
a baptism of fire so to feel
and the magic potion sizzled
cold blisters of angst and resentments
vanished meta-morphed into the light
an inventory thorough cleaning
of the house that is my Self
a ruin of sorts it had been
rubble carnage wreckage
and I could not choose
the colour of my rescue boat
the size or model of the life preserver
it would not have done to plaster over
the cracks in the pot
I could no longer attribute fault
reason or blame to others
it had to become an inside job instead
an act of desperation and gift of recovery
no one pushed me when I took the plunge
I forgave yet did not ask for forgiveness
became able to love and allow to be loved
today I swim with hot passion once more
accept the good with the bad
found peace and moments of serenity
enjoy enchantment and gratitude
no witch craft at all
but a fairy tale story
narrated by a cauldron
of magical proportions
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