No because sometimes reassurances aren't enough, you know?
Sometimes it isn't enough to remind yourself that you are alive despite whatever atrocities you've ever faced.
Sometimes telling yourself that it'll eventually get better, just isn't enough anymore.
Because sometimes bleeding feels better on the inside and it's a safer bet to drown yourself in the ethanol and pike yourself on a wooden cross in the front yard.
Sometimes trying to think positively is the last line of defense between your breathing lungs and your beatless heart, and it's ok to bite your own arms.
Sometimes it's ok to rip chunks of flesh from your own thighs and wallow in self whatever-your-choice-of-mental-poison-is.
Sometimes dying alone is not a big deal, and then sometimes it's the only activity you could ever possibly do to keep yourself from commiting a psycho-schizophrenic fueled genocide, because one overzealous "preacherman" told you that you are unworthy of rest, that one time.
Because every once in a while you need to hang yourself with a silk rope from an overdramatic oak tree, and that's ok.
Because sometimes dramatics are good for the nervous system.
Categories:
reassurances, anger, dark, gothic, mental
Form: Free verse
I knew it was over when I started waiting more,
Talking to me became to you just like a mundane chore.
I knew it was over when your texts got shortened,
Our fights became usual, and I kept feeling frightened.
I knew it was over when you found another choice,
How happily you told me about his compliments twice.
I knew it was over when you started getting distant,
I tried holding on the rope, but resistance was resistant.
I knew it was over when you began to disappear,
The moment I feared was suddenly near.
I knew it when reassurances fell flat at times,
Hollow words, redundant phrases, and overused rhymes.
I knew you were gone, even when you were very near,
Presence means nothing without love, without care.
I knew it was over when your eyes lost their spark,
The distance kept on growing, leaving its mark.
I knew it when with you, I felt so alone,
I had said you Goodbye long before you were gone.
Categories:
reassurances, betrayal, conflict, true love,
Form: Rhyme
Trusting isn’t easy,
For those who’ve been hurt before.
All it takes, is to fall,
Right back through that door.
Mistrust creeps back in,
like darkness in the night.
All your reassurances, won’t dissuade,
these thoughts and frights.
The only thing, that will ease my mind,
Is knowing you’re around.
But when you’re un-con-tact-able,
In these hazy thoughts I drown.
The fault was never yours,
It always has been mine.
Trust, I must,
But trust, I can’t,
Until the end of time.
Categories:
reassurances, trust,
Form: Free verse
Mom
In every memory I have of you,
I hear a smile in your voice.
Even as my soul weeps at its loss.
Still…
After twenty years,
I tremble at the loss of home.
I look over my shoulder
looking for the comfort of you.
I wait for the reassurance of your hope,
and I flounder in
the imbalance of this world.
I never got to live This with you.
The injustice rubs at edges of my reality
Leaving rage in the wake of tragedy.
How can I ever find a balance when my center is gone?
I keep listening to your smile
whispering reassurances and lullabies.
How love is an intangible thing not trapped by time, death, nor even memory.
Your love is weaved inside me,
it blankets me in your grace.
Categories:
reassurances, i miss you,
Form: Free verse
I swallowed an apricot seed when I was younger.
Everyone told me it was hard work to grow fruit trees
especially when winter marches south and tries
to pry all those tiny orange dots from stubborn
wooden hands. I kept it safe, though, tucked away
in the pit of my stomach where despair and embarrassment
lived. I fed it reassurances: I swallowed strawberry
sunsets and ate the pithy vernal blossoms of childhood.
I even drank the recommended 36 ozs of filtered water
every day. Years later now, its branches weave their way to my brain
alongside curious blue blood. Apricot juice seeps
into my veins and fills my body with sweet, yellow-orange
nectar. Fruit falls out of my mouth, staining snow white pages
in splotches of nostalgia each time I sit down to write.
Categories:
reassurances, poetry,
Form: Free verse
In the darkness void light
Whispers of peace reassurances deem
Unyielding love unanswered
A fleeting beating heart conversing
Yet, it's clear there's no body that hears
No
Body
Cares
12/11/21
Written by James Edward Lee Sr © 2021
Categories:
reassurances, analogy, anxiety, blue, heartbreak,
Form: Light Verse
Good intentions gone unseen
Is it just coincidence
That all my intentions have gone unseen.
It doesn't matter what I do
There's always a distraction to intervene.
As it messes with the rule book
Exceeding Boundaries in its lifes pathways.
I can't remember a time of certain reassurances
That have helped me through dark days.
When will God call out to me
& answer me in prayer.
When will I be free from pains defeats
And be returned with the best of care.
I've dedicated all my lifetime
To helping others on their ways
So why must I be cruelly punished
And released the pressures of my dismay.
So now I'm contemplating
Which way in lifes path to turn.
But I'm restricted by my boundaries
As the wheels of fate decide to churn.
Be it which way I venture
My path will carefully be tread.
For fear of committing the same sins committed
From past experiences in life ive plead.
BY ANNA SABRINA TATE 24/10/2019
© 5 hours ago lifes • travels
Categories:
reassurances, angst, conflict, corruption, dark,
Form: Blank verse
You want to hear me say I’ll love you forever.
And yes, I well could say those very words to you:
For after all, they simply state the current truth.
But at the risk of seeming callous or uncouth
They’re also words one could easily misconstrue.
And whether couched in language simple or clever,
In timeworn expressions or phrases fresh and new,
All such words would ultimately be misleading—
For how can anyone pledge a love undying?
The future’s hidden—to deny that is lying.
And nothing lasts forever… still, since you’re needing
Reassurance, this much at least I’ll promise you:
You are the best-beloved of my heart today:
I can’t foresee I’ll ever feel another way.
November 14, 2019
NB: This is an "almost sonnet"-- but differs in line length (12 syllables instead of ten) and, instead of having three quatrains before the couplet, I have used two sestets with an ABCCBA DEFFED rhyme scheme. Also, the lines, while each of 12 syllables, do not really have any consistent metrical structure. By the bye, the word beloved here is meant to be pronounced adjectivally, that is, with three syllables: be-'LOV-ed.
Categories:
reassurances, i love you, love,
Form: Lyric
Is it just coincidence
That all my intentions have gone unseen.
It doesn't matter what I do
There's always a distraction to intervene.
As it messes with the rule book
Exceeding Boundaries in its lifes pathways.
I can't remember a time of certain reassurances
That have helped me through dark days.
When will God call out to me
& answer me in prayer.
When will I be free from pains defeats
And be returned with the best of care.
I've dedicated all my lifetime
To helping others on their ways
So why must I be cruelly punished
And released the pressures of my dismay.
So now I'm contemplating
Which way in lifes path to turn.
But I'm restricted by my boundaries
As the wheels of fate decide to churn.
Be it which way I venture
My path will carefully be tread.
For fear of committing the same sins committed
From past experiences in life ive plead.
BY ANNA SABRINA TATE 24/10/2019
Categories:
reassurances, anxiety, care, destiny,
Form: Blank verse
What do you need right now?
I feel like I would enjoy a long retreat
from human voices,
a free to reverse
get out of jail vacation
from inside voices,
especially my own.
Who would keep you entertained?
Who would you listen to
with affection,
passion,
curiosity,
interest,
engagement,
immersion,
amusement,
without hearing human voices,
including your own?
Maybe I would learn to speak in squirrel scold
and nutty chatter,
in buzzing bee,
whining predative mosquito searching,
warning rattler,
purring and hissing cat,
stoned silly river sibilant
sad satiated sensory sunset
moon rise advent of enlightening mystery
surf breathing ocean, inhaling and slow shushing out
demented and delighted dreamscapes,
hawk warnings
mourning dove reassurances
Earth's undisputing stillness
still partially well
Blessing ridiculous ravens
cawing out for each other,
"Here we brazenly are, together;"
never having heard of blackbird pie,
unthinkably naive,
unspeakable joy of togathering flight
without tomorrow's forbidding consequences,
breathing in remembered fight
to outward reimagined flight.
Categories:
reassurances, appreciation, earth, environment, happiness,
Form: Free verse
I sweat, my body wet full why am I so hot?
No fear
In hell, dancers moanings reeking anguish tears, why is it so hot?
Motivational motive positive reassurances, my choice too late now I rot;
Dapper Danny disturbances, whose looking good now, why is it so hot?
Lucifer laughs, another soul he implies;
Where is your salvation now?
Was your choice?
To choose this course, you refused the righteousness
you choose to refuse, even with your knee bowed
you even confess that Jesus is Lord, yet...
Where is your salvation now?
Was your choice?
my choice too late now I rot;
whose looking good now, why is it so hot?
eternal damnation
written by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2019
Categories:
reassurances, analogy, atheist, environment, heartbreak,
Form: Free verse
I heard bankshots last night,
sounded like vault robbery for sure
These startled eyes, which got rudely awakened,
saw some masked bandits
mute walking on a one beam teller ...
not cash registering one word
No safety deposit reassurances were heard,
only silent alarm
breached security measure blurbs
On the latest Bankers Holiday,
I heard some peppery sprayed hotshots
being airwave-pumped
in a high pitch, screaming tire getaway
Preying mantis scarlet quotation tread marks
on the glowing screen said:
"We only take more than you can pay ...
blood money always got a dead air say"
Children of famous crooked faces
were crouched decibel low on a zip lip line,
tightrope beam teller
Proselyte pantomime pupils
moving their mouths a lot, cat burglar quick
Using lip sync tools,
saying not a single word ...
Only giving a wily nod coyote wink
I heard not a word
uttered
No, not one truthful word
spoken
during this brazen, public heist
As every lullaby lamb
warm fleece slept
with their pockets open last night
Categories:
reassurances, allusion, corruption, imagery, truth,
Form: Free verse
Digging up buried bones of the past,
formaldehyde memories ... crypt debris
Re-examining works long dead,
suspicions placed once again
under the microscope
Detect an exhumed lie,
skeletal remains
of a premature buried alibi
Neurotic twisted logic
Myelin tears fill the missing synapse link
of a soil carpet double helix
DNA nightshade tragic ...
(do not answer) the doorbell!
Just as life reassurances don’t always
double indemnity policy sell
Sometimes shovel singularity focus
can ne’er black hole end well
Emotional tug on the viol heartstring rug,
wipe the sin dirty guilt feet
No current, criminal behavior to speak of —
the mental ill-will tombstone sealed
any regrets soul bittersweet
Categories:
reassurances, allusion, longing, truth, wisdom,
Form: Free verse
Always there
You never disappear
Staying close
I feel you when you’re near
I am alone
no matter if you’re there
For few will know
The pain I have to bear
Your reassurances are void
I have seen you without such a ploy
Trust is limited
No reliance in it
I pray that you’re gone
But I know you’ll always reappear
For this heart
Always aches when you’re gone
Categories:
reassurances, hurt, i love you,
Form: Free verse
Eternity is short lived, three or a countless year,
Gushes back fond memories of a life, to us all, so dear,
On a day, you bid goodbye, to life’s encompassing fear,
Drove a world, around you, to seek solace in drops of tear,
Life goes on, for your kin and for your entire loved peer,
Yet your smile, etched in our thoughts, in moments reappear,
Your voice of reassurances, not lost, echoes in the mind’s, ear,
Comforts all living souls to you, ever so dear and near,
In the kingdom of God, you leave your heart, ever clear,
Like a myth, you fought with grit and made pain - disappear
We know not, which star you are, sparkled in lives like a seer,
Set an oracle, defying wisdom for many more countless a year.
Categories:
reassurances, bereavement, death of a
Form: Elegiac Lyric
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