You Matter
The last time you felt good, you played along with them, and they were fooled
The feeling inside was blue and you always considered the suicide rendezvous
It’s when you can’t laugh or cry, and feel it’s all over, it’s a sick dry
Place one tries to avoid, a last tear drips, alas, you’re annoyed
Wailing, laughing, sobbing, all of it stops even the throbbing
Some people call that crazy, I call it a bad case of *rolly polly hazy
It has become a revolving DeJa'Vu,
Thoughts too many to count are far and few
The pills stockpile is probably the thing
A romantic, gentle sleep, most desiring
Like the rock stars, I know ‘bout fentanyl
Go all out in style like a sentinel
If the signs are there, don’t judge, be fair
There are signs we may see at play, that gives it away
Some may have depression, personality traits, such as aggression
Suicide ideation, extreme hatred that can foretell, life-weary people—Incel
Find themselves emotionally ill-equipped for life
Overwhelmed, depleted, marginalized
The active-intent group, and this is not a lie
Is an innate will to live and a desire to die
Here is an ongoing internal conflict, bleaker
They are categorized as the "death seeker"
Having a physical illness or chronic pain, can manifest a reckless train
Things aren’t going well, mustn’t complain, nag or dwell
Should let somebody know, that you don’t want to live anymore
A choice we do have a laud, it may not be right with God
But He just might understand, maybe even lend a hand
It’s just too painful today, and you want to go all the way
You’ve given into the cancer, you want to go, this an answer
The end of a relationship, is like an endless bad trip
Another lover broke up with you, said you were possessive, strangely
And once again had felt matched, you see, in their world you become attached
Reborn, they are like avant-garde gods, nothing in common, against all odds
Go straight to denial of disbelief, a mental state where there is no relief
Aching doesn’t describe the pain, all the knives seem to lacerate the brain
And well, who am I to say that my love wasn’t enough, for them to stay
Time out, I need to, on their behalf, tell you that they made me laugh
They don’t warn you from the start, that they are going to break your heart
The seductions are always successful, feeling wanted, sexy, even sensual
It is clear to all debauching more like it, persuasion of the flesh so easy to submit
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it –Rumi
The “cry for help” explanation, may help us with this fascination
Some suicide attempts are planned with care, but we must be aware
With the goal of getting rescued, all are misled and misconstrued
Setting a staged performance, one can only give in to the dance
Thereby getting attention, it is a form of extreme psychosocial communication
You’re not alone, for many suffer to this tone
This is an attack on the heart, more like a dagger than a dart
Family and friends only enable, you’ve shown them that you're not stable
No matter where you’ve been, you've had your share
Nothing help's, nothing compares
No matter what you do, there is a gutting void in you
It's all you ever wanted, a place where you belong
It’s all you ever needed, a place to play your poetry song
Where people know your name, where things stay the same
And when you're feeling low, where someone says hello
Avoid the void not easy, it will consume you
Once you know it, it knows you too
All the poems of doom, warning of the bitter-sweet gloom
That promises would be broken and all that’s left of the words spoken
Are there set in stone and as true as the chill in your bone
They knew you would come undone, without any doubt they were done,
They’d come back just to regret it; when you were ready to forget it
Convince you they were wrong, used you again when you got strong
Gave into with a finesse and now you're floating in your own emptiness
The toxicity has a gagging effect, misery has won this elect
Try to remember just one day when you were without disarray
And you are made to believe, there are new drugs that’ll alieve
Like women to men, why should men ever believe in many layers
That a woman is the answer to their problems and their prayers
Last line directed to:
To His Coy Mistress--Andrew Marvell
Enclosure is recognized only in the grave (a fine and private place),
which is too late – and by definition, failure
*Bipolar
There are more reasons why one chooses suicide, and it’s all devastating. This is universal
Suicide ideation can occur when a person feels that they are no longer able to cope with an overwhelming situation. symptoms: Too many to list!
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I Am Anaya
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