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Passing

PASSING

Never knew pain like this pain
Never hurt so bad as now
Never cried out in the dark
Just grit my teeth and hunker down
It’ll pass, it’ll pass

Never knew my mind could go there
Never hurt down to my core
Never felt alone so much
Just shut my eyes tight (so tight so)
This’ll pass, this’ll pass

When all the what-ifs are probably true
When there’s no more string to hold onto
You face yourself, your sorry self
Sorry for all the did-nots
Sorry for all the “shoulds” 
(Everybody knows i hate that word)
Should have dot dot dot
Should not have dot dot dot

Never knew I’d be so frightened
Never knew hurt world single me out 
Never has my soul cried out 
Just left me bereft on the floor
One hand holding my phone,
The other a bottle of vodka.
It’s gonna pass, it’s gonna pass.


Suz.
STANFORD MEDICAL CENTER
Tue Feb. 21, 2023
Palo Alto, California

Copyright © Suzanne Arbil

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Book: Shattered Sighs