Push Away Don'T Hold
I dont like people close, though i hold them tight.
I dont want anyone in my life, though i put up a fight.
I dont want a relationship, no one around me all the time.
I dont need a woman, not now not by my side.
As I say these words, as you look towards me.
As u read this poem, the words you truly see.
The real side about me, that I really left unknown.
Is now not a secret. This is something now shown.
I start to like someone, i bring them real close to me.
Tell them everything they need to hear, a form of familiarity.
To catch there attention, these words I speak they are all so true
But then I gotta push away, cuz i get scared this cant continue.
For if it does i might be happy, thats not possible not this life not for me.
I cant hold onto, so i get real clingy.
I become the person i am not, so they become upset.
It only takes a week or so, then i get past regret.
I move onto the next one. To get my mind at ease.
Im sorry you have to find out this way, dont forgive me please.
I dont deserve forgivess, i dont want your trust back.
Ill always live my life this way, i am the sheep who's black.
I do not write this for sympathy, but just to speak these words to you
This will always be my life, it will always be untrue.
Josh Vanham March 21 2017
Copyright ©
Josh Van Ham
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