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King of the Castle
The King of the Castle
Said I’m but a child
Afraid of the world outside
Afraid to run wild and to be proud
Of the freedom it provides
Afraid of love
Afraid of the dark
Said you have another side to you
A dark side having nothing to do with Jesus Christ
Said I needed saving
From those invisible chains that
Kept me imprisoned in my house
But hidden we’re your motives
That God made you for me
That you’d share stories, dreams , a house and a family
If I’d go with the flow
Follow your lead
And never let you go
I’d live shiny and golden
All the day long
I let my guard down and held my breath
And saw you pull tricks that unveiled
The hell inside your heart
And naive, I fell for it, under your spell
Some how, it didn’t feel right
But my heart and my mind thought otherwise
And my heart and breath were running wild for miles on the inside , scared of your wrath and dark craft
Said you control the elements
And wear that ring for protection
Said I was embarking upon a mystical dark journey
Never underestimate anybody, you said
Gazed into my eyes
Said everybody’s got regrets and have done something they’re aren’t proud of
Be aware of your surroundings you said
I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing
You’ve said
There was pain under my skin
Panic and frustration with the flow of things
I wore my casual clothes
And was fed lies beyond the imagination
Your sugar, my sweetness was irresistible
Yet bitter and poisonous
Could’ve sworn you were the devil
I’m still here
Despite everything that has happened
I’m still the same
Yet forever changed by the seasons
As I was running in circles
Trying to grasp the understanding of my life
He wanted all or nothing
You were an escape
A distraction from all the chaos in my apartment
No matter what , you’ll see it through, baby
I am you
I love you
All is forgiven
You’re not the only one
To who’s had this experience
My victory is not won
My eyes are blurred and dim
As is true of the light within
My mind is somewhere else
At one of the corners of the room
I’ve got to face the world
Day by day
Face circumstances with enthusiasm
Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes
Snap my fingers
And everything could disappear
And see through your charm
That threw me in your arms
Numbing my pain
Stealing my heart and everything that is worth anything
Left me with pocket change
To you, everything is currency
A transaction , an exchange
I adored the invisible flowers that you gave to me
I had to sacrifice family for your time
Said you’d make me into a woman
Setting aside all childish things
I gave you the innocent chuckle of a child
The excitement in your eyes
Was not for love
But for the anticipation
Of me falling into your trap
Momma warned me
To stay away from you
Something about you
She couldn’t point a finger to it
We talked till my head blew off
You were in my head and in my ears
My mind distorted , believed heaven and hell were on earth
And as destiny had it
The mission would reach its end
When I became your wife and you my husband
When the business would turn to an empire
Wanted to get away and face my fears
Of finding that special gentleman
That would hold my hand
I’d never thought I’d would be here
Thought the end was near
And together we would save the world
I could see it in your puppy dog eyes
Now in hindsight
There are all types of people in the world
Curious and innocent and devious
If this is love
I want out
I thought you were my rescue
You were charming from the start
My body could have failed itself
With the words that came out your mouth
You’re always joking
You Joker
Stayed until it became too much
So much I was overwhelmed
Crumbled up and broken inside
There’s a lesson in there somewhere
A journey to the spirit realm
Burned in the fire of hell
Left me stained by the blood and grip of Lucifer
A lake of fire and a sea of knives
In the end of times
I opened up
And talked too much
You listened and chewed it up
To be spat out when you’re in the rough
My tears were of joy and wonder
Lucky to not have seen what might have been
Don’t want to be reminded
Of who you really are
If only I could turn back the time
I’d see past the darkness that clouded my mind
There’s nothing left to say
Except you gave me fell
I am still hurt
By the careless games you played
I can’t forget this disgrace
And the monster that I faced
You have no reason to live
I should more than exist
But I felt alive amidst the danger that persists
You’ve been here before
Gathering spreads and putting on a show completing the puzzled
You make me want to get away from here
But I’ll be missed by the kind tender hearted folks that I know
Thought the end was upon us
I could’ve sworn I was in love
You gave me hope and loathing or the depth and extent of the human mind
Allan sure likes hamm
A gold grill
To hide his missing teeth
Black spacial gaps
Domino sugar and black coffee
Wish’s wishing well
Is in drought
Wait for your bitter, sweet revenge
Karma will work things out in the end
In Jesus name
Amen
Marckincia Jean
Narrative
12/17/19
Copyright ©
Marckincia Jean
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