King of the Castle

The King of the Castle Said I’m but a child Afraid of the world outside Afraid to run wild and to be proud Of the freedom it provides Afraid of love Afraid of the dark Said you have another side to you A dark side having nothing to do with Jesus Christ Said I needed saving From those invisible chains that Kept me imprisoned in my house But hidden we’re your motives That God made you for me That you’d share stories, dreams , a house and a family If I’d go with the flow Follow your lead And never let you go I’d live shiny and golden All the day long I let my guard down and held my breath And saw you pull tricks that unveiled The hell inside your heart And naive, I fell for it, under your spell Some how, it didn’t feel right But my heart and my mind thought otherwise And my heart and breath were running wild for miles on the inside , scared of your wrath and dark craft Said you control the elements And wear that ring for protection Said I was embarking upon a mystical dark journey Never underestimate anybody, you said Gazed into my eyes Said everybody’s got regrets and have done something they’re aren’t proud of Be aware of your surroundings you said I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing You’ve said There was pain under my skin Panic and frustration with the flow of things I wore my casual clothes And was fed lies beyond the imagination Your sugar, my sweetness was irresistible Yet bitter and poisonous Could’ve sworn you were the devil I’m still here Despite everything that has happened I’m still the same Yet forever changed by the seasons As I was running in circles Trying to grasp the understanding of my life He wanted all or nothing You were an escape A distraction from all the chaos in my apartment No matter what , you’ll see it through, baby I am you I love you All is forgiven You’re not the only one To who’s had this experience My victory is not won My eyes are blurred and dim As is true of the light within My mind is somewhere else At one of the corners of the room I’ve got to face the world Day by day Face circumstances with enthusiasm Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes Snap my fingers And everything could disappear And see through your charm That threw me in your arms Numbing my pain Stealing my heart and everything that is worth anything Left me with pocket change To you, everything is currency A transaction , an exchange I adored the invisible flowers that you gave to me I had to sacrifice family for your time Said you’d make me into a woman Setting aside all childish things I gave you the innocent chuckle of a child The excitement in your eyes Was not for love But for the anticipation Of me falling into your trap Momma warned me To stay away from you Something about you She couldn’t point a finger to it We talked till my head blew off You were in my head and in my ears My mind distorted , believed heaven and hell were on earth And as destiny had it The mission would reach its end When I became your wife and you my husband When the business would turn to an empire Wanted to get away and face my fears Of finding that special gentleman That would hold my hand I’d never thought I’d would be here Thought the end was near And together we would save the world I could see it in your puppy dog eyes Now in hindsight There are all types of people in the world Curious and innocent and devious If this is love I want out I thought you were my rescue You were charming from the start My body could have failed itself With the words that came out your mouth You’re always joking You Joker Stayed until it became too much So much I was overwhelmed Crumbled up and broken inside There’s a lesson in there somewhere A journey to the spirit realm Burned in the fire of hell Left me stained by the blood and grip of Lucifer A lake of fire and a sea of knives In the end of times I opened up And talked too much You listened and chewed it up To be spat out when you’re in the rough My tears were of joy and wonder Lucky to not have seen what might have been Don’t want to be reminded Of who you really are If only I could turn back the time I’d see past the darkness that clouded my mind There’s nothing left to say Except you gave me fell I am still hurt By the careless games you played I can’t forget this disgrace And the monster that I faced You have no reason to live I should more than exist But I felt alive amidst the danger that persists You’ve been here before Gathering spreads and putting on a show completing the puzzled You make me want to get away from here But I’ll be missed by the kind tender hearted folks that I know Thought the end was upon us I could’ve sworn I was in love You gave me hope and loathing or the depth and extent of the human mind Allan sure likes hamm A gold grill To hide his missing teeth Black spacial gaps Domino sugar and black coffee Wish’s wishing well Is in drought Wait for your bitter, sweet revenge Karma will work things out in the end In Jesus name Amen Marckincia Jean Narrative 12/17/19