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King of the Castle

The King of the Castle 



Said I’m but a child
Afraid of the world outside 
Afraid to run wild and to  be proud
Of the freedom it provides
Afraid of love 
Afraid of the dark 

Said you have another side to you 
A dark side having nothing to do with Jesus Christ

Said I needed saving 
From those invisible chains that 
Kept me imprisoned in my house
But hidden we’re your motives 
That God made you for me 
That you’d share stories, dreams , a house and a family 
If I’d go with the flow 
Follow your lead
And never let you go
I’d live shiny and golden
All the day long
I let my guard down  and  held my breath
And saw you pull tricks that unveiled
The hell inside your heart 
And naive, I fell for it, under your spell

Some how, it didn’t feel right 
But my heart and my mind thought otherwise 
And my heart and breath were running wild for miles on the inside , scared of your wrath and dark craft 

Said you control the elements 
And wear that ring for protection 

Said I was embarking upon a mystical dark journey 

Never underestimate anybody, you said 


Gazed into my eyes 
Said everybody’s got regrets and have done something they’re aren’t proud of 

Be aware of your surroundings you said

I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing 
You’ve said 

There was pain under my skin
Panic and frustration with the flow of things

I wore my casual  clothes
And was fed lies beyond the imagination 

Your sugar, my sweetness was irresistible 
Yet bitter and poisonous 
Could’ve sworn you were the devil

I’m still here
Despite everything that has happened
I’m still the same
Yet forever changed by the seasons 
As I was running in circles
Trying to grasp the understanding of my life 

He wanted all or nothing 
You were an escape
A distraction from all the chaos in my apartment 

No matter what , you’ll see it through, baby
I am you
I love you 
All is forgiven 
You’re not the only one 
To who’s had this experience 


My victory is not won 
My eyes are blurred and dim
As is true of the light within 
My mind is somewhere else
At one of the corners of the room
I’ve got to face the world
Day by day
Face circumstances with enthusiasm 

Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes
Snap my fingers
And everything could disappear 
And see through your charm
That threw me in your arms
Numbing my pain 
Stealing my heart and everything that is worth anything 
Left me with pocket change 
To you, everything is currency
A transaction , an exchange 


I adored the invisible flowers that you gave to me

I had to sacrifice family for your time 
Said you’d make me into a woman 
Setting aside all childish things
I gave you the innocent chuckle of a child 
The excitement in your eyes
Was not for love
But for the anticipation 
Of me falling into your trap

Momma warned me
To stay away from you
Something about you 
She couldn’t point a finger to it

We talked till my head blew off
You were in my head and in my ears 
My mind distorted , believed heaven and hell were on earth 
And as destiny had it 
The mission would reach its end 
When I became your wife and you my husband 
When the business would turn to an empire 

Wanted to get away and face my fears 
Of finding that special gentleman 
That would hold my hand 

I’d never thought I’d would be here 
Thought the end was near 
And together we would save the world 

I could see it in your puppy dog  eyes 
Now in hindsight 
There are all types of people in the world 
Curious and innocent and devious 

If this is love
I want out
I thought you were my rescue 
You were charming from the start 
My body could have failed itself 
With the words that came out your mouth 
You’re always joking 
You Joker

Stayed until it became too much
So much I was overwhelmed 
Crumbled up and broken inside 
There’s a lesson in there somewhere 

A journey to the spirit realm 
Burned in the fire of hell
Left me stained by the blood and grip of Lucifer 
A lake of fire and a sea of knives 
In the end of times 
I opened up 
And talked too much 
You listened and chewed it up
To be spat out when you’re in the rough 

My tears were of joy and wonder 

Lucky to not have seen what might have been 
Don’t want to be reminded 
Of who you really are

If only I could turn back the time
I’d see past the darkness that clouded my mind 

There’s nothing left to say 
Except you gave me fell
I am still hurt
By the careless games you played 
I can’t forget this disgrace 
And the monster that I faced 

You have no reason to live 
I should more than exist 
But I felt alive amidst the danger that persists 

You’ve been here before 
Gathering spreads and putting on a show completing the puzzled 

You make me want to get away from here 
But I’ll be missed by the kind tender hearted folks that I know 

Thought the end was upon us
I could’ve sworn I was in love 

You gave me hope and loathing or the depth and extent of the human mind 

Allan sure likes hamm
A gold grill
To hide his missing teeth 
Black spacial gaps
Domino sugar and black coffee

Wish’s wishing well
Is in drought 
Wait for your bitter, sweet revenge 
Karma will work things out in the end 
In Jesus name
Amen





Marckincia Jean
 Narrative 
12/17/19

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