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I cannot tell him
I cannot tell him that I still love him,
That losing him breaks my heart in a thousand new ways each day.
Because if I did, then he might try to come back to me.
I cannot tell him that a year later,
I still cannot dwell on his memory for than a moment or two
Without tears welling in my eyes.
I cannot tell him that every man I meet
Becomes inadequate the second I inevitably realize
How very different they are from him in every way.
Because if I did, he might ask to come home again.
I cannot tell him that I still love him,
That I did not simply pick up the pieces and start my life again.
That every day is a failed attempt to learn how to live without him.
That it was only because I loved him so much
That I had to make him leave.
Because if he came home again
The voices that he heard might not let him survive loving me.
Copyright ©
Greta Kitts
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