I cannot tell him

I cannot tell him that I still love him, That losing him breaks my heart in a thousand new ways each day. Because if I did, then he might try to come back to me. I cannot tell him that a year later, I still cannot dwell on his memory for than a moment or two Without tears welling in my eyes. I cannot tell him that every man I meet Becomes inadequate the second I inevitably realize How very different they are from him in every way. Because if I did, he might ask to come home again. I cannot tell him that I still love him, That I did not simply pick up the pieces and start my life again. That every day is a failed attempt to learn how to live without him. That it was only because I loved him so much That I had to make him leave. Because if he came home again The voices that he heard might not let him survive loving me.