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Rum n Raisin 15 - World Wide Web

If you’re a human, a word of advice
Don’t leave computers with cats, rats or mice
If these share your home but you need to be gone
For heavens sake make sure that you’re not logged on.

Some creatures are drawn to the colours on screen
Attracted by mixtures of red, blue and green
Much can go wrong if your mouse gets a squeeze
But worse can occur if they stand on the keys


“For heaven’s sake, Raisin, stop acting the fool
You’re breaking those buttons and that isn’t cool
And I’ve noticed something that you haven’t seen
That all sorts of words are appearing on screen.”

Raisin said, “Rum, don’t get all agitated
This internet thing seems to be overrated 
I think I typed ‘NASA’ whatever that means
Then up popped a lady in very snug jeans.”

Ronald rat said, as he passed through the house
“I’ve seen the computer man clicking the mouse.”
“I swear that’s a lie,” said a mouse by the fire 
And rat said, “I mean that thing trailing a wire.”

So Raisin Said, ”Why don't we all have a go
And watch the screen change as we dance Latino
Or let’s do the foxtrot well into the night
And let’s set this ‘internet’ thingy alight.”

Walnut, their young German shepherd dog brother
Said, “I shall amuse myself with something other,
My feet are much bigger than any of yours
And I’d smash that keyboard with one of my paws.”

And so Walnut watched and it was quite a sight
Rat, mouse and kittens danced with all their might
The keys on the keyboard were pounded that day
As kittens and rodents got carried away

Twas just harmless fun for two kittens and friends
But when you're exhausted that’s when the fun ends
And so they all slept and each one of them knew
They’d had a good time… what harm could it do?


Early next morning when Rum raised his head
Raisin was already out of her bed
She said, “Rum, outside there’s a curious thing
I swear a gorilla is sat in the swing.”

And Mr Jones who lives at four fifty three
Has taken a left and crashed into a tree
I know he’s lived there for a fairly short while
But who knew that he had a pet crocodile

Just then a truck raced right by in the street
The sign on the side said, “Meow! Kitty-meat”
The truck then reversed and outside it stopped dead
The driver got out and was scratching his head

Up in the sky there were weapons of war
Missiles en route… their trajectory poor
Twisting and turning and looping the loop
They crashed in the village pond; Voila - duck soup

Rum said, “Good grief, has the whole world gone mad?”
Raisin just shrugged for it seemed that it had
But the TV was on and the newsreader said,
“A local zoo is on alert - code red.”

“It still isn’t clear how the creatures got free
They’re roaming the streets in the locality
A spokesman said ‘We don’t how this can be
All the locks opened electronically’.”

“And in other news that just broke overnight
A GPS satellite moved to the right
So we must recommend to avoid a mishap
That you plan all your routes with the aid of a map.”

“In more breaking news - my, we’re busy today,
The Navy said missiles were sent on their way
The Russians held back on their retaliation
The Kremlin has scoffed at the state of our nation.”

“And the biggest shock story since downloads begun,
‘You’re a pink toothbrush’ has reached number one.
While these goings on have got everyone vexed
We’ll keep you informed as to what happens next.”

Rum said that’s way too much news for one night
It sure seems these humans can do nothing right.
A man at the door said, “MacDonald’s for three?”
And Walnut, their brother, said, “That one’s for me.”

Copyright © Terry Flood


Book: Shattered Sighs