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Peace of Mind
In the mere blink of a nightmare, I found myself rechained
and trapped where my peace of mind had once before
collapsed.
The die has been cast, an old challenge from the past, one
I thought long ago smashed, has incited another battle and
painfully thrashed my peace of mind like collateral damage
to aloofly leave behind.
It’s twenty-seven years later, and I’m altogether strength-wise
lesser for this matter. I’ve got mighty prayers but the sum-total
of tassels for the best in life have battered and frayed my energy.
It is retired and at rest, not lying in wait for another day or test.
Now, I’ve no choice but to fake it, declare it is just hiding and
there’s no abiding such when it's time for fighting.
I know I screamed denial, felt a heavy weight disintegrate all
to black. I remember holding him, sharing a crying jag while
watching my peace of mind pack.
My very heart, my special needs son, now full grown and still
at home, woke me in the night in a state of fright, “Mama, I
think I just had a seizure.” The next day came four more and
my peace of mind took its suitcase out the door.
Copyright ©
CayCay Jennings
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