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Shaggy Dog Limericks Ii

The Bichon Frise

The Bichon in chiffon looks so frou 
That the crowd duly wowed has to coo 
‘Til the dog starts to droop
And its owner to scoop 
Some acutely embarrassing doo

The Border Collie

It was not Albert Einstein who dared 
To think E = mc2
But rather a Border 
Who brought cosmic order
One morning while out with his laird

The Bulldog

My Bulldog won’t frolic or fetch 
His face may cause others to kvetch
But he’s gentle and sweet 
With the kids on the street
And the ladies all think I’m a ketch

The Cairn Terrier

Cairns have been bred to hunt vermin 
Be it Spanish, Australian, or German
Its body is wee
Though as tough as a tree
And as ruthless as General Sherman

The Chihuahua and Great Dane

Chihuahuas and Danes one surmises 
Are extremes when it comes to their sizes
The one is so small 
It is nothing at all
While the other is big and wins prizes

The Chinese Crested

I passed one of these down on Lincoln 
For a moment I thought I’d been drinkin’ 
He looked so bizarre
That I stopped in a bar
To keep my poor eyeballs from shrinkin’

The Collie

To many a Collie means Lassie 
The wonderdog faithful and classy
But on re-run TV 
(Or is it just me?)
Do her eyes look a little bit glassy?

The Corgi

The Corgi is not one to hurry 
Much preferring a stroll to a flurry
If you happen by chance 
To invite one to dance
He’ll say, “Hey, I am not Arthur Murray!”

The Dachshund

The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees 
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)

The Dalmatian

Dalmatians are doomed to be stuck 
In the seat of a fireman’s truck 
When they’d much rather cruise 
In a Jag that’s chartreuse
On a track that’s for testing your luck

Copyright © Ralph Protsik

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Book: Shattered Sighs