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Friday May 13th 2022

Friday May 13th, 2022

An excerpt taken from a lengthy tome,
written courtesy a favorite poet of mine.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia  struck within a blink,
I swear yours truly never took a drink,
nevertheless he witnessed
and falsely accused of being a rat fink,
when everything but the kitchen sink
instantaneously disappeared in a wink.

A quick moving flava flav lava flow 
quickly rapped (like a snoop doggy dog tune), 
swept, and twittered predominantly 
(this only the beginning phase 
of Armageddon clobbering debacle), 
where nature nymphs, sprites, trolls, et cetera) 
decked out with tartan kilted 
Scottish residents comprising 
the moral majority population 
within bucolic community of Harrisburg, 
(yes the same place name and Das Capital 
of Pennsylvania) before swallowing 
(as an itty bitty, teensy weensy 
hors d oeuvre), a healthy 
barley noticed portion of planet Earth.

Faster than a speeding bullet 
lubricated with greased lightning, 
and one rather extremely uncommon phenomena, 
the devastating, instantaneous, 
and outrageous volcanic activity, 
(that forged the Allegheny Mountains) 
unexpectedly goose-stepped, 
doggedly catapulted back to life 
after a bajillion years of dormancy 
entombing, hotly freezing (in perpetuity), 

and guaranteeing, limning, and ossifying 
unchanging lifelong livingsocial abode 
of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum 
at that juncture (of happy and healthy) 
within the space time continuum 
4 after Midnight, (when Christine
came down with severe bout of misery 
qua writer's block), and sponsored 
by Plexus, nexus Lexus Wilkie Buick, 
who guaranteed their 

handsomely crafted automobiles 
(specially designed with an app 
to weather fierce blistering, 
pelting thermal withering geologic events, 
sans natural catastrophes) 
included extra durable crushed bougainvillea 
(allegedly beefed chromosomes) 
deftly effected fortified (gluten free) 
genetically housed immensely 
jimmied, kindled, lionized magnetized numbskulls.

The volcanic magma seemed to possess 
an uncanny intelligent, eerie ability 
to discriminate among bias, 
die hard extremist stances, liberal take 
on hot button controversial issues, 
political ultra factions, hence the eye catching, 
shining, yet confusing moniker 
"Smart Ash" soon codified, fructified, indemnified 
with the reputable, musical, and inestimable 
qua personae non gratae prodigy Sam Ash".

Actually, there did seem to appear 
some natural likeness in violent temperament, 
resonant penchant, and nascent lambent 
Jill Saint John habiliment 
between former magmatic material, 
and protean Primate prehensile prattling Simian, 
who (as a sidereal stellar story teller) 
happens to be yours truly. 

Anyway, due to strict 
parochial Lutheran hackneyed dogma, 
no iota of boasting, flattering, nattering chattering 
allowed from this anonymous, 
hip po' eponymous, harmonious, industrious,
innocuous, judicious, loquacious, marvelous, 
querulous Norwegian bachelor farmer.

Ponder with scrunched furrowed brow 
in a serious effort to expound at large 
this incredulous nebulous, 
shape shifting (than compound 
an understandably mixed up notion), 
thus now tis a noteworthy opportunity 
to point out divulging the name of this scribe 
would immediately necessitate notification 
of Non-Coms, who would forcibly usher 
this lapsed long haired pencil neck geek. 

This action (not newsworthy in the least), 
would thus mocks nix notorious nauseating, nasty, 
never-ending nonsensical noodling. 

How sad, hence tis not wise tune hip 
virtual thorn in the dark side.

Rather best bet would be to buffer end 
this figurative bud dee whiz encased 
within corpus callosum. 

Though identity guard disallows revealing namesake 
of this nincompoop, the most information 
told about this little known author 
can be reduced to one word. 

That abridged version would deprive 
any subsequent reader a brave attempt 
to interpret convoluted spaghetti writing.

Despite ambition to bob and weave continuously 
(creating a conglomeration of ever increasing 
virtual loose threads), 
one final capstone concept begs to be conveyed.

Thine ziggurat severely atilt rivaled 
(sorry tubby cheesy), 
but the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

Asinine argot acquired bilious berserk baggage, 
which stakes no claim nsync with 
longevity, magnanimity, notoriety, et cetera. 

A series of unfortunate literary, 
lickity-split liberty unintentionally 
left a prose ache wake. 

An honest to dogness attempt bedeviled crux 
displaying evident fiasco. 

Slinky circumstances, sans synonymity, 
synergistically, and synchronicity 
yielded a feeble effort at fame.

Birth thing a complex mental edifice 
begot aborted aspiration foray zing 
grateful, mindful, and respectful characterization.

Copyright © matthew harris