Shoulda read the fine print; my bad!
I’d still have my dog if I had,
but “no pets” the contract had said.
The dog’s with my ex now instead.
At least for the pool I was glad.
Shoulda read the fine print; my bad!
No guests?! After bragging to friends?!
My big dream of pool parties ends.
I’m off campus, yet MY rules too
are for students of BYU.
Shoulda read the fine print; my bad!
Now there goes my bachelor pad!
No women, no gambling, no booze.
There’s “L” on my forehead. I lose.
Happy Valley? I call this sad!
Shoulda read the fine print. My bad!
Feb 7, 2018
For the 'shoulda read the fine print - 2' Poetry Contest of John Lawless
(just imagining a guy stumbling into the city of Provo unaware of BYU standards and somehow signing a contract to live with off-campus students!)
Categories:
provo, funny,
Form: Quatern
I’m noticing the seeds I like to buy
are running out in flavor “Nacho Cheese.”
They’ve got sunflower seeds in Ranch, but I
require my nacho cheese ones. Geeez Louise!!
I look it up on Google and I find
they’re selling out. I run to every store!
They’ve got that dang “Dill” flavor, but my kind
is not in stock and won’t be any more.
I know a service station that’s still got
those seeds I love. I’m off! The hunt is on!
I’ll buy up every bag in every spot
where I can locate them before they’re gone.
Some other stations carry them. I dash
from Pleasant Grove to Provo, brandishing
my credit card. I buy them. In a flash,
all seeds in Nacho Cheese are vanishing!
I’m driving south as far as Mapleton!
The chance of finding bags of them is dire
for fellow addicts. I’ve found sixty-one
to last a year before they all expire!
A true story that happened to me about five years ago
See "About Poem" above. When I love something, I try very hard to get it!!
For the Obsession Contest of Silent One
Categories:
provo, adventure, food,
Form: Quatrain
Brigham Young, the Mormon prophet
Pointed to the west; they crossed it
North, east, south, west sent colonies,
And has his name on universities.
Brigham Young, who led the Mormons after the assassination of their founding prophet Joseph Smith, led the Mormon Pioneers from "Winter Quarters" (a spot near what is now Omaha Nebraska) to what is now Salt lake City, Utah, then established colonies in most of the western states, south-western Canada, and northern Mexico. Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, is the largest religious, and one of the largest private, universities in the USA, and has branches in Hawaii and Idaho. There is a monument in Washington DC to B.Y. for him being the great colonizer. Most groups that went west did so seeking gold or land, but didn't worry about those who followed. When the Mormons crossed, they widened mountain gaps, made maps, planted seeds, set up river crossings etc to make it easier for later groups to follow.
Categories:
provo, america, community, culture, hero,
Form: Clerihew