Funny Prison Poems

Walked in through those gates, the legends foretold/
valley of death? Try a circus of old/
The baddest dude charged, Timber! Came the call/
He fell like a...

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My bars the words, the prison guard my verse,
Rattling the staves of this poetic cell,
I struggle vainly, locked up in this jail. 
Yea, thus is...

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Doing Time is not easy but it's something that I gotta do/
Survival of the fittest so this how I gotta move/
I'm not the strongest so...

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   Remember America’s humanitarian aid 
      to Germany’s Nazis
         and...

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You spend all the day sneaking about
but you'll pay for each rule you now flout

You can bet that sweet tail,
you're the next cat to jail

and...

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I got my mind on my money and money on my mind/
Cat scan if you like you'll tell I ain't lying/
Verse One
Money is all I...

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I have toothpaste because I paid money.
I watch TV for the same reason.
And this money thing is far from funny:
Without it you are as in...

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The wild, wild, west he shot his last gun,
the big bad felon that thought he had won.

His boots are now kicking his big toes,
He's left...

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My neighbor, who has sticky fingers,
lifts merchandise fast, never lingers.
Inside her big jacket
each item, she'll pack it--
fine necklaces, rings, even Zingers!

Her P O saw her...

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The feast was all done,
For Grinch and the Who’s,
 And after the meal,
Came terrible news.

For Max and the Grinch,
And Who’s gathered round,
No one spoke a...

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I’m trying to be strong 
Something telling me to hold on 
Cops kill us all
While everybody phone is on 
Gaining attention to the cause 
Give...

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The  Rioteer



There was a rioteeering lady named Trixie,

Who with folks of her kind liked to mixy.

With bats and rocks she headed out,

To hit an...

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Knock, knock, knock!
A lover at the door
The other adjust his clothes
The handle turns their hearts

Knock, knock, knock!
An officer at the door
An eye on the peephole
The...

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The pendulum jumps back and forth
I wonder if it ever gets bored
Really such a regular sight
Once to the left, twice to the right

What if I...

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One Day Barney Fife was practicing his quick draw.
He accidentally shot Thelma Lou, he broke the law.
Andy had no choice but to put Barney in...

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