Positively Preposterous Puckheads...STILL!!!
Boy! They sure don't drive no Coupe DeVille.
My wife dragged me here against my will,
I just, Touched Down! in Palookaville!
Her Uncle Buck, buck-teethed and busted bunions,
Always smelled just a bit like onions.
He'd cuss me out while eating Funyuns!
Yep, that Codger's one big Curmudgeon!
Aunt Tildy, wore garters with lace tassels,
Bought lavender soap by the passels!
Had dreams of Knights at White Castles,
And she tells my wife, I'M the ASSLE!
Cousin Clem, I call him "Phlegm," ain't right in the head!
He's thirty-five! and still wets the bed!
And his folks still wonder why he's not wed!
I don't care what that Doctor Phil said!
Last, but not least, is that beast they call Boo!
That cur must be older than...Twenty-Two!
And bowels!...Man, that mutt sure could poo!
As luck would have it...he spackled my shoe!
Damn! Sun's setting, they're sweating, and I'm stuck here...STILL!!!
Oh Lord, please send me that Coupe DeVille!
I might as well start writing my will!
There's "Nightmares Galore" here in Palookaville!
There are mini-bunnies in between my fleshy toes
They live there in miniature rose bush that glows.
I watch them sometimes, amazed at their grimes.
Hopping between my big toe with green slimes.
Carrying passels of baby bunnies on their warm backs.
They visit each other, and laugh with tiny little hacks.
I sleep with my feet reposing in lettuce and worse.
Wanting them to eat up, and there are carrots in my purse.
Rewarding them for their yard work, glad that they glow.
Happy that their favorite thing in summer is to mow.
For they get out their lawn mowers and get all of the hair.
Off of my legs, that has been growing down there.