Boyfriend Parody Poems

See that rich man
begging on the telly
He’s made your financial future toast,
now he also wants your
cash reserve preserve jelly
Do you believe the rich man,
who’s pleading...

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He knows when you've been peeking
When mommy and her boyfriend f--k
You may think you've been a good kid
But I think you're out of luck.

Oh, you...

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driving fast on the freeway
because my baby's got a gun.
the new millennial bonnie and clyde.
you know we're always on the run.

i have the bags, filled...

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Well it's colder than a witch's titty out there 
and I can't find a damn thing to wear...still hung 
over from last night’s drinkin' like...

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She was a barnacle on my bum
Following me around town
getting jealous if I talked to another girl
even if they were 91.

I didn't want to hurt...

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You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I...

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Loves Chance
 
loves in town taking chances
 dancing with all the girls
 turning out very short romances
 loves been at it again flirting with the...

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i am not weak 
just because im not a man 
i have seen men beg 
and plead
i have seen them on their knees 
i have...

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my wife has a gay boyfriend
thats over all the time
sometimes he comes over 
dressed in drag
and looks so so fine

i never wonder what they do
when...

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Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her...

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Shall I compare thee to my Adelaide?
Thou art less lovely and less temperate.
Rough winds shake you, my bony lady May,
Adelaide’s lease hath all a better...

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feirce, furious, rageful,
passive, meek and mild.
infuriated, vicious,
gentle like a child.

irrationally enraged
patient, quiet and calm.
murderously violent,
kind with open arms.

a rabid livid maniac
affectionate and sweet
desperate and demented
benevolent...

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MY DREAMER HE WEAVES THE WESTERN TUNE, WHILE MY HEART SINGS IN ORIENTAL MONSOON.
 so far away, she eagerly awaits me, from such a distance,...

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love 'n'...

food and sex and food and sex
go together like
before and next
anytime we're together
food and sex can make it, better

hunger and lust and hunger and...

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Finally found the perfect prelude to this previous piece...

She never learns the lesson
Not to dance under the moon
With all the stars applauding
Her nakedness

Her thirst, her...

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