They called me fat and I laughed.
They called my mother an idiot and I rolled my eyes.
They threw out names so hard and fast
I had to get a baseball bat to start hitting them into right field.
They were landing on other people now.
People who whined, cried, sobbed, and put up their dukes.
People who told me how I ought to feel, and out to behave.
Bossy, overhanded people who amused me.
There are always the infamous “they” somewhere
Lurking around, trying hard to make you sigh, cry, and possibly die.
Get out your bats, but don’t inflict pain,
Swing away at the words, not the “They’s”.
They will stop bothering you after that.
The Wheelydoodler fickledabbler nuddogger irritated me beyond belief!
But he did not thunderbait me as badly as he thunderbaited Poosnortaflasher.
Poosnortaflasher told me had never felt so nuddogger irritated in her life.
What did that wheelydoodler fickledabbler nuddogger do? She asked me.
I was gaslumitertoot in my sly, overhanded way of telling her the truth.
She asked for it, right? Her family comes from a humperwadlebut line.
That wheelydoodler fickledabbler nuddogger went on spidalswatch without me.
No kidding! She was gumsmacked, bamboozled. Humperwadlebut was oozing.
Step over to my kitchen for some warm brittlesnitch right out of the oven.
You are certainly a screenscraper! She said, you know how to get to my igglenoggin.
So her Humperwadlebut self and my gumsmacked bamboozled self sat.
Ate the entire brittlesnitch while gumming about that fickledabbler nuddogger.
I was sitting in a meeting quietly, trying to act serious
When the good friend behind me fiddled with my chair, something furious.
I traveled down hard and fast, completely jarred, as I landed.
Reached behind me and slapped her knee with a crack, overhanded.
The ones who saw were in crazy stitches.
They did not tell, they are not snitches.
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