Barney Fife, the bumbler, is a joy to watch
Aunt Bea’s whining could be turned down a notch
Opie is grown, but not in these old shows, of course
Some days he sneaks carrots out to his found horse
Andy never gets married, but comes close a lot
Maybe this kept me watching, but I hope not….
Barney Fife’s eyes bugging out in fear is what gets me
His antics and expressions make me happy to have TV
I love that he never gets it until the very end
Everything fixed up by Andy, Barney’s true best friend.
Categories:
opie, nostalgia,
Form: Rhyme
Painting guru John Opie
a Cornish wonder we do see
His work displayed the peasant type
old & young folk & the like.
Categories:
opie, art, people,
Form: Clerihew
I can't overlook what you did because it was an incredibly stupid thing to do.
You wanted a batch of pickles and you hired Aunt Bee to make them for you.
Almost nobody will ask her to make pickles but you decided to let her.
A person would need a cast iron stomach to handle her pickles, you should've known better.
When it comes to making pickles, Aunt Bee has absolutely no skill.
You'd better be very careful because her pickles are known to kill.
Opie's mother ate a jar of those pickles and that's what ended her life.
Because of Bee's pickles, Opie lost his mother and Andy lost his wife.
You hired Aunt Bee to make your pickles because it was dirt cheap.
If you eat them, you'll learn that what you sew is what you'll reap.
When Aunt Bee makes pickles, it's dumb but what you did was dumber.
Bee should go to jail for poisoning people with her kerosene cucumbers.
When I criticize her and her pickles, you say that I'm being mean.
But I won't apologize for criticizing pickles that taste like kerosene.
Categories:
opie, food, funny, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Andy Griffith and Barney Fife
Aunt Bea
Opie
Father knows Best
Betty and Bud
Kathy called “kitten”
Loretta Young
Dinah Shore
The Lennon Sisters
Bonanza
Adam
Hoss and Little Joe
Sing Along With Mitch
Gary Moore
Ed Sullivan
Wholesome family shows
Until Elvis
Showed up on Ed Sullivan
Our shocked parents
Jumped up and turned off the TV set
But not soon enough
Categories:
opie, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Free verse
He's Brad and he's
captain of the football team.
He’s been chosen prom king
and has a scholarship to college.
Everything’s going well for him
but he doesn’t like little Russell
the farm kid who transferred in.
Brad calls him Opie and says
he should wear a red plaid shirt
and black suspenders and
bounce to school every day
on a John Deere tractor.
Russell’s heard enough of that.
He and his father like to hunt for squirrel.
Not easy to get all the pellets out
but a mess of squirrel barbecued
makes a banquet out of Sunday dinner.
Brad shouldn’t have bothered Russell.
He’s still the prom king but he won’t
be able to sit on his throne that night.
Not easy to get all the pellets out.
Donal Mahoney
Categories:
opie, bullying,
Form: Blank verse
Take a step back to a simpler place,
Where the world revolved at a slower pace.
Think about Andy, Opie, Barney and Aunt Bee,
Enjoying life in the small town of Mayberry.
Categories:
opie, fantasy, imagination, life, nostalgia,
Form: Couplet
Ben Matlock is an excellent criminal attorney.
He has gone back to find his roots recently.
The tracks he was following led him to Mayberry.
The sheriff Andy Taylor has stark familiarity.
Barney Fife is the name of Andy’s deputy.
Andy has a son by the name of Opie.
Their lives would not be complete without Aunt Bee.
Well, here is a sobering dose of reality:
Mr. Griffith has entered another phase of immortality.
Andy Griffith
(1926-2012)
Categories:
opie, dedication, loss, tribute,
Form: Rhyme
In Memory of Andy Griffith
By Elton Camp
It's bad news that we received today
The actor Andy Griffith passed away
For decades he's kept us entertained
As Sheriff Taylor he has remained
The passing years have passed on by
Old age came and Andy had to die
It was as Matlock that I liked him best
Not with Bee, Opie, Barney & the rest
Mayberry was a town just far too sweet
To some, that fantasy world can't be beat
But one of his best roles that I ever saw
He played an insane, murderous grandpa
That he could play roles so diverse
Makes me miss him all the worse
Categories:
opie, death,
Form: Rhyme
Can you remember Lost in Space, Bonanza and Gunsmoke?
How about Leave it to Beaver—all the fun they`d poke?
The Dick VanDyke Show made us laugh, and so did Mr Ed.
And all the married couples had to stay in their own bed.
Jeannie couldn`t show her navel. Father did know best.
Tom and Dickie Smothers really failed the censors test.
Red Skelton was a classy clown who always made you smile.
Ed Sullivan ruled who was hot, and who would wait awhile.
Barney lived in Mayberry with Opie and Aunt Bea.
Mockingbird Lane was the home of Grandpa and Eddie.
Flipper ruled the ocean blue, and Gentle Ben the land.
Lassie barked until he knew he made you understand.
Bewitched showed us a mortal married to a cute, blonde witch—
Defied the laws of gravity with just a little twitch.
Petticoats were at the junction; the nun was flying high.
My Favorite Martian stole our hearts. And Laugh-In said good-bye.
Gilligan and Skipper tried to keep the rest from harm.
And Eddie Albert took his wife—from New York to the farm.
These shows were entertainment, without blood, and guns, and gore.
And maybe someday, Hollywood will see this, and make more.
Categories:
opie, childhood
Form: I do not know?
(This is a fictional poem)
My son makes Dennis the Menace look like Opie Taylor.
He has the manners of a tyrant and the mouth of a sailor.
He's only eight years old and he uses the F word.
He cusses me out and then he gives me the bird.
I ask him to stop cussing but he says hell no.
That's the last time that I'll let him watch HBO.
He cussed out his principal who happens to be deaf.
I'm glad he can't hear because my son called him an MF.
He circumcised me with my pocket knife and my wiener sure is sore.
Somebody please shoot me so I won't have to take his crap anymore.
Categories:
opie, funny, son, me, me,
Form: Rhyme