Funny Nonsense Poems

peek-a-boo who’s looking at you
the book on a shelf is calling
the carrot makes eyes
the watermelon cries
and the dog juggles balls in the morning

peek-a-boo who’s shouting...

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the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search 
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night

the common oak 
a wise...

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jam in a sandwich
jam upon toast
jam in puff pastry
jam Sunday roast

jam in a donut
jam served with fries
jam on a cracker
jam curry and rice

jam mash potato
jam...

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Crow (Blackus Menacingus)
large, clever and a scavenger
found in gardens where there’s trees
good at puzzles, can be trained
likes TV shows about celebrities

Blackbird (Blackus Not-A-Pirateus)
common gardeners friend...

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jam

it’s
sweeter than ham
stickier than a dam
spreadier than a ram
welcomier than spam
jarier than a can
jellier than a plan

though
not drivier than a van
not talkier than a man
not...

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too soon
this moon

day’s chores
some scores

most not
forgot

deplete
need sleep

morning
warning

disarm
alarm

same old
sixfold

more work
can’t shirk

no fun
undone

work sucks
need bucks...

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a horse named
Lollipop
dug a hole

a mole
told Lollipop
to stop

but Lollipop
dug
dug
dug

so the mole
trotted with a
clipperty clop



...

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squake the guisely skwallard
there’s pudding in the fridge
but leave a siley pappledoth
for the midnight gobbleditch

let it eat a munchinfless
and skreel a throbbledue
hide and hope the...

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dessert door dessert door
opens to custard and cream
but jester broke in
with bells and a spoon
. . . and
off with his head!
said the queen

dessert door dessert...

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When I stumbled upon Alice's hole,
I felt an overwhelming joy envelop my soul.
With little fear of harm or peril,
I could now crawl into the tale...

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staring at a stereo
in the Serengeti
Sarah getting stir crazy
gotta get out of this ghetto
Sarah saw a
chance and took it
sailed on a sailboat
slowly to Nantucket
thanks wholly
to...

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at a patio table
sat a pangolin and penguin
    pondering

and there they pursued
under a parasol
    perusing

diving with questions
delving for answers

they...

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    so

a possum who wanted to be
not a possum but a wallaby

    but 

a wallaby who wanted to be
a...

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has he got 
the balls 
to juggle? 

doesn’t he 
have 
balloons? 

only a knife 
and a photo 
of his mother

not meeting 
their gaze
only walking by,
fixed...

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I was born in the Year of the Rabbit,
which left me with a very nasty habit.
I like to nibble on stuff,
sometimes nice, sometimes rough,
and when...

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