Funny Nonsense Poems

Business 
just normal

Busy nurse
with dayful

Buzzy noise
gets headful

Bossy niece
gives earful

Bees knees
surely bestful

Boozy Ness
drinks Lochful

Business
as usual



...

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the seahorses grazed in a field undersea 
the jellyfish wobbled at the party

the starfish in their constellations went
the clams secretive tight lipped and silent 

the...

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a dog and a frog
who stood on a spoon
and went round the town
in their dressing gown

said the dog to the frog
oh lets spoon to the...

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argh 
the wooden pirate
with a real leg
‘pon his left shoulder
not a parrot but a peg

argh
his ship inverted
sailed ‘neath the wave
and in his treasure chest
was a...

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what is this moo you speak of
could it be
upon field and grass
beauty of greenery
in summer’s wain alas

what is this woof you speak of
could it be
upon...

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kreel n krurl 
bone twisting brake
skeletons dancing
beturn o bewake 
beslide n beclunky
on graveyardy mound
skelebones skelefunky
over graveyardy ground




...

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mr onion with his mad mad hair
miss pepper with her smoothen skin
mrs lemon looking so so fair
master cauliflower’s complexion

the long long nose of sir carrot
the...

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as a fly flew onto a ski
his weight was just right you see
so off down the mountain went he
could his eyes be any larger? probably
good...

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an ostrich learning to swim in the sea
his neck like a stick floating vertically
swirling and rounding 
and bobbing a wave
an invisible hand stirs a big...

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I would have been here sooner
But I got in a fight with time
And lost you see. 
It wasn't fair.
I slept in a little bit, 
and...

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I packed my worth on a dinner plate
and walked afar out to sea
you see

I reached an odd little island
shaped like a banana and pea
you see

I...

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the werewolf who knitted a cardigan
began because his gran was ill
as she began but became unwell
with winding winding woven wool 

so gran oh gran your...

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troll a troll who whole was tall
taller than not being small
ate nettles thorns flowers and plants
spiders worms and sometimes ants
but they tickled and itched 
a...

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Ding skipped and skipped and skipped
Dong hopped and hopped and hopped
Dang ran and ran and ran
Dung jumped and jumped and jumped

they laughed in tune
they played...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal) 
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam


2.
onions (red) 
tomatoes (finely chopped) 
garlic (four cloves) 
fireman's ladder (aluminium) 
disparity (secretly hidden)...

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