NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS (from a dutiful husband for his loyal wife)
I’ll promise in the year ahead
To never, ever fart in bed,
Nor say how she should get thinner
At our anniversary dinner
To she who’ll wash my underpants
I’ll whisper words of sweet romance,
Like ‘dear, I smell your fragrant odour’,
NOT ‘how about a quick legover?’
I’ll promise I’ll learn how to cook
From that old Nigella book,
‘Monkfish Bake with Fried Pancetta’
Though egg and chips would taste much better
I’ll book us both a holiday
Somewhere hot for lazy days,
We’ll get suntanned and drink sambuccas,
(Hope no-one sees my huge verrucas)
High as kites on karaoke
We’ll sing a duet, something folky
‘I Got You Babe’? No, ‘cos on balance
Singing’s not among her talents
We’ll watch the sunset hand in hand,
Strolling on the golden sand,
Taking in the sun-kissed view
When suddenly from out the blue
I’ll take a gold ring from my pocket
Go down on one sore knee socket,
And ask her to renew our vows
On holiday, if time allows
You see, I wouldn’t change a thing….
Apart from ask her not to sing!
Categories:
nigella, humorous, love, marriage,
Form: Rhyme
Jamie says
Bish bosh
Cushdy
Mash everything together
Simple so easy to make
Nigella sucks her fingers and utters
Phrases you need a dictionary to decipher
But the only thing everyone wants to know
Is ?
Is the food actually any good
Or are they talking complete crap
Just using different words and accent's
Categories:
nigella, culture,
Form: Free verse
“...fallen into the sere, the yellow leaf”
As the Bard penned, describes eloquently
How old age steals up on us like a thief
At night, invisible and silently
We frown at the mirror in disbelief
At wrinkles, lost teeth and vitality
So, something that brings a smile to one’s face
Helps roll back the years and glumness displace
The label promises blooms from this box
Each yellow sunflower yields thousands of seeds
Which lure insects in swarms and birds in flocks
Its cousin, cosmos, will out-climb the weeds
Nigella (or love-in-a-mist) grows stocks
Of blue flowers enough for all our needs
Oh, and then there’s the lovely red poppy
No other garden flower can copy.
Antirrhinum (from Greek) means `like a nose’
Called snapdragon it opens for a bee
A cold weather plant that can survive snows
Midget, medium or tall it might be
But each red, white, pink or yellow bloom glows
Like a hot ember incandescently
Last, lavender exquisitely scented
If they all grow, I’ll be well contented
Categories:
nigella, age, beautiful, flower, happiness,
Form: Ottava rima
This is Horatio's elegy,
He and the mousetrap had synergy,
That's the end of mouse energy,
Alas, Horatio is no more,
That fur friend predator,
He ran into the mousetrap's door,
Alas, Horatio is no more!
How to embellish this ode?
I'm in hunter-gatherer mode,
Shall I serve him up for lunch?
Nuke him for tasty lunch?
Eat it skin on for nutrients,
Now I know what Nigella meant,
No, Horatio wasn't pregnant,
Now I have a fur friend remnant,
That little mouse predator,
Of mice I am no amator.
Alas, Horatio is no more!
Categories:
nigella, animal,
Form: Free verse
Nigella Lawson
Her food my source of inspiration
Cooking up a storm of exotic tastes
A master chef on the hot plates
09-13-2015
Categories:
nigella, food,
Form: Clerihew