Esteemed personages and jurists
let the oral arguments begin.
Sir, the legality of your position on this
most serious of matters
limps like a drunken duck.
Madam your logic has diminished,
it trips over its own dung,
it bleats like a flea bitten nanny-goat.
Sire, your robes make you look fat.
Madam, your mother resembles
a demented Pitbull.
Sir, your ass requires two chairs.
This case is flawed.
This flaw is the case!
The floor is wet madam, are you incontinent?
Your flapping mouth is toothless Sir.
Gum me !
Go dry your nuts in a microwave donkey breath.
“My respected colleagues,
decorum please,”
pleads another pillar of the law.
Together – ‘Shut-up fish face!'
Long thoughtful pause,
while giant legal minds deliberate.
A deep disembodied voice intones::
"The Supremes have adjourned for lunch."
Categories:
nanny goat, poetry,
Form: Free verse
My lovely nanny goat
an unusual gift for my thirteenth birthday
shiny coat
Dad would milk her
I’d carry all the milk away
White fur
Cute pet
Loved to eat hay
wet
My lovely nanny goat
I’d carry all the milk away
Wet
*a true story I had a nanny goat 'Susie' for my 13th birthday, when we purchased her she was in kid and once the kids had been weaned we used to milk her twice every day. Her favourite food was very ripe bananas!
A Pet Minichu Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Mohan Chutani
checked with how many syllables
04/16/21
Categories:
nanny goat, childhood,
Form: Rhyme
As I reminisce
through childhood eyes
I see vivid images
of my family home
where bumbles would bounce
Our garden seemed to stretch for miles...
perhaps that’s why
I made an odd birthday request
for a nanny goat as a pet !
Taking her home in dad’s VW Beetle car
caused quite a stir ...
‘Susie’ perched precariously on a seat
her horned head poking out of the window!
We deemed Susie
our Caprinae vaccum
she'd attempt to hoover up
anything that came her way -
even dad's underpants
which flew off the line
one blustery day
Oh, what precious memories!
Where Bumbles Bounce Contest
Sponsor - Craig Cornish
NOT a fictional poem
9/4/19
Categories:
nanny goat, birthday, humorous, memory, pets,
Form: Free verse
Anything I want to be Fuchsia?
Let's start with the fire trucks for every city.
Let's paint the town bandstand and each dog and kitty.
Anything I want to be Fuchsia?
Let's paint my mother-in-law's little and big toes.
Let's start at the top now, and slather pink on her nose.
Anything I want to be Fuchsia?
My underwear is already a vivid hot pink.
Let's paint my refrigerator, and my dull gray kitchen sink.
Anything I want to be Fuchsia?
Where is my prissy neighbor who tells me how to vote?
I will hold her down, as you paint her and her little nanny goat.
Anything I want to be Fuchsia?
Let's call a town meeting, and change all the uniforms.
Let's change the high school mascot, and fuchsia all the forms.
Anything I want to be Fuchsia?
I do not care how much it costs. Everything is going to be pink.
The streetlamps, the trees, the stop signs, until we run out of ink.
I will be known as the Fuchsia Queen.
You can grovel and bow. I love fuchsia, as you can probably see.
Come closer, my love, so you can become the same color as me.
Categories:
nanny goat, 10th grade, 6th grade,
Form: Free verse
She moved away out here to get away
from people, from a job that buried her under
other people’s problems. We’re rural here.
She settled in a place with barn and corral,
got a horse but doesn’t ride. Adopted a dog
and two barn cats plus one for the house.
Added some pens and got a nanny goat,
two sheep, one pig, two hens, a rooster and
a husband but like most other humans
he had his problems. Before long he was gone.
She put out grain for wild turkeys, a saltlick
to lure in deer. Jackrabbits who ravage gardens
here and there. Coyote keeps to edges, hawk
to thermals and the owl to dark. Last night
we heard the most blood-curdling cry from her
direction. Husband back with a gun? No
country home’s complete without a peacock
screaming murder.
Categories:
nanny goat, animal, people,
Form: Free verse
No need to bother those of light thinking
For these things are not known to them;
It’s like plucking a nanny goat a sweet tune ;-
She responds not to your fine musical gem.
There’s simply no need to tell your wise words
To ignorant nonentities such as Simons and Peters,
For they will never understand your language
Even if you yell right into their waxed ears.
Give not your most treasured jewels to the pigs
For they will trample on them and trample on you;
They are ever decided recalcitrant fools
Who oppose and curse everything wise or new.
Categories:
nanny goat, wisdom,
Form: Verse
Babysitting bloody goats,
Babysitting bloody goats,
Baaaa baaaa twinkletoes has notes,
Trying to get some bloody sleep,
Sounds like a rabid rancid sheep,
a lonesome goat, you know it,
wheres that bloody clive a sitting,
climbing screen doors, its not quiting,
Sue heard one on the ole tin roof,
twinkle toes tap tap 2 do it?
Blaurgggggght says the nanny goat,
Crazy bludger's tunes out of note,
Drops poor ole Johnson in it?
Ferret dog emasculated,
Banged and thumped and castigated,
Head butted by 2 nannies sure,
Doesn’t want it any more,
Sidestepping Ferret voted!
Waiting for ole Clive to come,
With the red van goats do hum,
Head butting ole screen door,
Blaurgh where are you clive, whaffor?
Goat chops for tweededum,
Cant eat your mates they hum,
Be quiet my moral core,
They won….Don Johnson
https://www.facebook.com/don.johnson.
79219/posts/10203114820445074?comment_
id=10203114886406723&offset=0&total_comments=7
Categories:
nanny goat, adventure,
Form: Ballad
Once on a ranch in Texas, a new pup was born, the mother had died
An old Mexican man that worked there, put the pup on a nanny goat
As time went on, the dog stayed with the goat herd day and night, the dog thought
it was a goat
Categories:
nanny goat, animalsdog, dog,
Form: I do not know?
The weeds that grow upon the lawn
Continue growing when they’re shorn
Though treated with a herbicide
It’s no surprise that none have died
The chemicals that you apply
Should make them shrivel up and die
But only seem to feed and nourish
Makes them grow and makes them flourish
Don’t sit there feeling all forlorn
Regarding such a sickly lawn
There’s one solution guaranteed
To eradicate, that awful weed
Get up, go out, put on your coat
Buy yourself a nanny goat
© John W Fenn 21-08-2009
Categories:
nanny goat, dedication, depression, funny, life
Form: Light Verse
Rise up black woman and you all of other colours
Rise up and grab your fallen baton
Passed down from the hand of heroines past
Rise up from the grave Amina Zazzau
The lioness who hunted for lions to eat
Rise up lest her exploits be forgotten
Rise up to sheer bravery of Aba women
Whose nudity deadened men’s manhood
And broke the chains and shackles of injustice
Rise up to the gallantry of the Dahomey women
Whose fists waded off mighty warriors
And secured a kingdom and its men
Rise up in the spirit of Pupupu
She who was first to ascend a throne
And berthed the Ondo kingdom
Rise upin the spirit of Efunroye Tinubu
A lone voice that drowned the voices of million of men
Whose wealth fuelled the economy of Egba nation
Rise up in the power of Moremi
The woman who dared what men feared
To unravel the liberated her people
Rise up in the spirit of Funmilayo Kuti
The tigress who retreated before nobody
Rise up in the spirit of Sawaba
The nanny goat that played host in lion’s den
Rise up girls and women
From your kitchens, markets, stalls and offices
Rise and keep up the dream of
The golden palms that rocked our cradle
Categories:
nanny goat, black african american, inspirational,
Form: Free verse