Mucker Poems


Premium MemberIf The Sneaker Fits

Inspired by Bill Baker,
A friend in Texas
add on's welcome!

If The Sneaker Fits

I bought blingy gold sneakers with Trump's magic in it
A guru with genius, that's how I spin it!
But deep down in my guts
I think I'm just nuts
Another one of those suckers born every minute
                                               by Robert Gorelick

If The Sucker Pays

Nice of you to support that Fother Mucker
Who's your daddy now Carlson, Tucker?
Deep in my guts
I too think you're nuts
Trump took you for hundreds you poor sucker!
                                               by I Am Anaya
Categories: mucker, humorous, political,
Form: Limerick

Teddy is Jeremy

Why does a grown man have a teddy bear?
Is a piece of fluff a valuable memory?
It was an overcoat back then,
a seamstress worked so hard,
cut it up, shaped it, stuffed it,
and turned it into a teddy bear.

Yes, stuff that was fluff and yet
we give a toy a name and talk to it,
say good morning or
"Hi, Jeremy, my old mucker, my old mate!"
So why would you talk to a toy that has a head
but not to one that has none?

(5 Oct 2023)
Categories: mucker, character, friend,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberMe Old Mate

Hey up me old mucker,
how`s tha doing me old mate,
where did tha get that big shiner?
has tha bin in a fate.

av cum round to see thee,
for thee to give me a hand,
cos av just had delivered,
a couple tun o sand.

am puttin extension,
on back o me house,
place is so small,
a cudnt swing a mouse.

wife keeps on moaning,
ses house is too small,
she`s gonna stop me tap,
if i dont start that wall.

so am beggin ya mate,
will tha give me a hand?
pass me sum bricks,
an mix up the sand.

wen its all finished,
al tek thee down to pub,
will have a few pints,
an sum rate tasty grub.

i can go back to me wife,
with me cap in me hand,
an thanks to me mate,
things ill be grand.

tha never did tell me,
how that got that big shiner,
but thanks a lot mate,
me best mucker, me old china.

16/5/2023
Categories: mucker, friend, friendship, fun, funny,
Form: Rhyme

For I'M a Londoner Now

Found my way round London like a boss 
Know the best way to Piccadilly and Kings Cross
For I'm a Londoner now 
Seen the sights Big Ben and the like 
Taken a cycle journey on a Boris bike 
For I'm a Londoner now 

I've been on the tubes and on a red bus 
Got into Harrods without any fuss 
For I'm a Londoner now 
Seen the Arsenal play and the Spurs too
Chelsea and Fulham I still must do 
For I'm a Londoner now 

I have ate jellied eels in the East end 
Learnt the lingo my mucker is a friend 
For I'm a Londoner now 
I had a good time seeing a West end show
London dear reader is the city to go 
For I'm a Londoner now
Categories: mucker, city,
Form: Rhyme

My Rap Skills Chorus and Verse 1 Censored For Soup

..... cus i aint got no mother plucking rap skills mucker,
I'm a poet shall I show it
rhyme the line combine and row it,
I'm a sick ink flicker
tips fidget like a widget 
I'm a little bit prolific
that's a rap 
so get with it


such a good chorus, 
now feel the force of the fall as we move forward
cus I rap awful,
admittedly I havent got an ounce of pure ability
I'm the pit you see,
lips slip over lyrics like I'm tipsy
I link in, sync up like society and gypsy,
and I know what I sound like, yes I'm listening
while you sit there in your pants you just pissed in,
I miss the beat repeatedly
like a fall winter springs back to summer scorch
see it's fabulously written
I'm just crap with the rhythm,
raps a cat and I'm a gibbon
in a strap on with a ribbon,
I rap it for the hell of it,
accolade irrelevant
I'm heaven sent malevolent...….
Categories: mucker, hip hop, me, rap,
Form: Rhyme


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