Funny Marriage Poems | Examples
These Funny Marriage poems are examples of Marriage poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Marriage Funny poems written by international poets.
The wedding venue burnt without flame
the moment we stepped in.
You and I, hand in hand, step by step—
we laughed till our facials started aching,
we danced until the floor grew tired.
That was the story of our first day in love.
Twenty five years after marriage~
we now hardly speak,
our children hardly know us.
We rise too early, return too late,
stealing only minutes for
good morning
and how was your night,
before the routine begins again.
Nannies cradle our children in their arms—
they bathe them, clothe them,
and sing them lullabies meant to be sung by us.
Last night I saw your first gray strand,
glinting as you hurried into your car.
I smiled—you’ve joined
my five-year-old company of grays.
Darling,
how many more years
will we remain strangers tied by rings?
When will our children truly be ours?
Forgive me for leaving this note in your shoes,
but I wanted you to find it
before leaving for work this morning.
Under eighteen
hot tears spilling
nowhere near serene
at the end of your rope
cannot cope
need fulfilling
please don't mope
there's always hope
here's the dope
find someone thrilling
you can soft-soap
who is willing
and won't say 'Nope'
to a clandestine marriage
on the slippery slope
of the blacksmith's anvil
hire the carriage
you prefer
defer the billing
and elope
I love her looks and lovely lips,
The light her sweet smile brings,
And how she speaks and sways her hips--
She flits and floats as if with wings.
Each move she makes means more than I
Can comprehend or contemplate,
And so I’m often baffled by
The meaning of her mysterious gait.
She has a way with words that we
Would want her simply to eschew;
For when we’re ready to agree,
She’ll quickly change her point of view.
A fearless, formidable foe
Who would win any altercation,
She finds the words she needs as though
She was an alliteration.
So silently I sit and sigh,
And just learn to live life sans strife.
For this woman I can’t decry
Is no other than … shush!…my wife.
October 30, 2024
Baguio City, Philippines
hanging slipping falling dream
smashing waking hearing scream
wonder i dont snore
down here on the floor
guest beds like a balance beam.
The man married a wife
Who was the love of his life
He was oh so proud
Despite her uni brow
You see true love in his eye
She said she could never imagine me being married.
This stung.
We laughed.
I am the comic--
not the romantic.
Pain is pettier
felt without witness;
better yet, with punchlines.
Those who weep and wail are...
Genuine?
Authentic?
Deserving of more
labors of love?
We mustn't blame ourselves
for this.
We are pathetic souls,
and I am
fine with it.
After all, my spouse is already my sense of humor.
I once sported a manly beard,
a beastly beard had I.
But then on the farm, at the crack of dawn,
while my lady cheered,
she chopped it off, and while the cows mockingly mooed,
I quietly cried.
And with that, a little something inside of me died.
I would venture to guess it was my manly pride.
She brushed and whispered into my tickled ear
"Brian, how I pined for your lovely face,
and your youthful countenance.
You don't need a mane to rival a lion in ferocity
-you're sensitive and wise,
I can see it in your eyes,
and your words they always seem to make sense."
Who was I to debate with her?
Her words would lose weight
if I failed to concur.
exult, newlyweds
you're truly invincible ~
aaarrrgghh! toilet seat's wet
I’m going to be very sloth like in my entishness today.
No more whizzing ‘rund like a fly that’s lost it’s way!
You want some coffee and coffee is what ye’ll get! But my eyes have only just opened and my limbs haven’t got there yet.
You sometimes confuse the hell out of me but then again, you’re very small!
I need to do things very slowly if my brain’s to work at all!
I only turn it on when it’s needed for paid work.
It’s in a state of quiet contemplation right now and if that makes me lazy then lazy is this jerk!
There’s ye coffee so enjoy every sip!
I’ve decided I’m going to sit in mi-chair now and sit there for a bit.
If you need anything else today - ask politely and do it slow. I’ll contemplate what you ask of me and in good time I’ll let thee know.
To snag a prince, ambitious ladies
bet all their money on a snog
but as a rule they end up getting...
a frog.
Your Heart I want it back, By Davieo, David Rothchild
Your Heart
I want it back
It was always my fervent passionate art
To draw out your laughter, smiles, track
Your feelings, whims, delights, moods
Awesome emotional baked goods
They have a solid place in my heart
Yours in mine so, we are never apart
Your heart, its crushing
Soul building binding love rushing
Into me, so potent, in every moment
Without it life's an unbearable torment
Your golden thrusting sparkling skies
Of love, will me, fill me, thrills my whys
Sets my lightning sky joys floating higher
Fire after fire, after fire, after fire, after fire
Just your looks, your sparking electrifying touch
Rocking soothing velvet skin, means so much
Your masterful magnetic magical melting smell
A forceful winning spell which mighty armies compel
I can see wonderful heaven in your eyes
Joyous of our vaulting love all angels cries
Ascend, that this love should be a compass
For eternal loves, passions that will always last
By Davieo, David Rothchild
days slowly dance into chill perfection
gift to my husband and i affection
as trees of winter leaves shed
on Christmas day we first wed
to love and trace each other's direction
12/14/2022
NOT A FUNNY LIMERICK JUST USED THE FORM
Dearest Daughter
(written for Amy)
My dearest daughter,
we just met,
but I know I know you,
from your father's words.
You are full of laughter,
and your eyes sparkle with joy.
You make him laugh
and talk of funny times,
and silly rhymes.
My dearest daughter,
we just met,
but I know I know you,
from the first time I saw you,
to the first time we spoke...
Your words are music,
a sweet melody, of hope.
You called me mom,
and my heart was lifted,
You called me mom,
and I knew I had been gifted.
My dearest daughter,
we just met,
but I know I know you,
and in all the years ahead...
they will only add to my memories,
cherished over time,
and gathered like flowers in a basket,
shells on a beach,
stars in the sky...
all full of wonder.
My dearest daughter,
we just me,
but I know I know you.
Love Me
Hate Me
Show Me
Shun Me
Love me today, leave me tomorrow
Leave me today, buy me tomorrow
Talk (Alzheimer's)
You don't talk well,
you barely say a word.
I have to do it all,
every time.
I have to carry the conversation,
I have to remind you about
the calendar,
appointments,
and brushing your hair,
and teeth
as well.
I miss your words,
I miss you looking at me,
when you spoke.
You were clear,
and precise.
You said funny things,
that made me laugh.
You said important things,
that made me cry.
The last thing you,
that I remember,
that you said...
was that you
were going to die.
Then you did.
First in your chair,
one day at a time.
Slipping away to somewhere else,
Someplace, I could not follow
or chase you down,
and bring you back.
Now,
we are still here together,
but I am all alone.
It is a prison,
of love.