Jerrold Prothero Poet Lyric

I Ain't No Good

I ain’t no good, I don’t do the things I should,
My woman tells me ‘bout it all the time.
What I do wrong, well the list is mighty long,
But my woman seems to know it all by heart.

She got her degree, in what is wrong with me,
First a master’s, then a Ph.D.
She lectures all around, relatin’ what she found,
She held a conference on my belchin’ sound.

I ain’t no good, I don’t do the things I should,
My woman tells me ‘bout it all the time.
What I do wrong, well the list is mighty long,
But my woman seems to know it all by heart.

She started her own journal, just to get down to my kernel,
And all of it is written up eternal.
My faults are peer reviewed, ain’t none of it eschewed, 
There’s footnotes all the times that I was rude.

I ain’t no good, I don’t do the things I should,
My woman tells me ‘bout it all the time.
What I do wrong, well the list is mighty long,
But my woman seems to know it all by heart.

She’s academic gold, tenured as a scold,
Every time I spit a book is sold.
Is staying with her wise? Well I love her, damn my eyes!
At least my sins have been well monetized. 

I ain’t no good, I don’t do the things I should,
My woman tells me ‘bout it all the time.
What I do wrong, well the list is mighty long,
But my woman seems to know it all by heart.

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