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One stormy day in Texas the sky cracked open like a cheap piñata,
Jalapeño hail lashed the bluebonnets—goodbye, pretty blooms hasta la vista!
Rain turned to spicy salsa, rivers into ice-cold Lone Star Beer.
Cowpokes huddled together, prayin’ in the cactus-flavored air.
Pa’s prize longhorns blew away, where they went he had no idea
Eventually landed in Dallas yellin', "Y'all seen my tortillas?"
Crick rose up where three armadillos was sharin' one floatie.
Were heard to ask, “Where’s our guacamole?” ¡Olé!
yet
and still
like the longhorns on the hill
laugh along, laugh a lot
like yak and oxen at the thought
"donkey climbs the tree,
kicks an apple with his knee,
knocks a pigeon from the sky
and hides his body in the sea."
A dog in Alabama
a snake in Tennessee
A toucan in Alaska
a mule in Kentucky
Texas has its longhorns
Colorado its buffalo
Arizonans look up at mountains
Montanans attend rodeos
Every place a different pet
and scenes to stir the heart
Give me wide-open countryside
Give urbanites fine arts
I wished I were a cowboy riding a handsome palomino,
But, I was just a little kid, my sis watching Valentino.
I wished I were a cowboy rounding up the longhorns,
But, I was just a little kid still believing in unicorns.
I wished I were a cowboy drinking a sarsaparilla,
But, I fell asleep at night clutching my Roy Rogers pillow.
As time went by, I grew up and moved on to bigger things
But, when I hear “Happy Trails to You” my heart still gladly sings!
I'll tell you a tale when Texas was young
When women were scarce and horse thieves were hung.
His name was Jake and he was six feet nine -
Rode down from Kansas with rustlin' in mind
Re-branded some Longhorns, all he could see
Sun was still up when he hung from a tree
He was a big man, he's in a big hole
"God bless Texas and damn this rustler's soul"
3-11-19
Contest:March 19 Eight Lines Max
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Old
Scientist,retiree ,romantic,curious
My lovely wife,Joyce
Lover of starry nights, love songs,Texas longhorns
Who feels joy and compassion and impatience
Who fears rattle snakes, tornadoes,and socialists
Who would like to see Ireland,unity,and peace
Resident of Texas
Republican
2-3-19
Contest:Writing Challenge 2,Bio Form
Sponsor: Dear Heart
He sat emboldened in the saddle,
The cowpoke on the plains,
Herding his longhorns.
Sometimes folks decorate with steer horns;
A rancher must have a well made saddle
But, unlike his home and car, it’s plain.
He has to navigate many plains;
Sometimes he’ll lose a longhorn;
With a difficult task, he’s saddled.
So, his well made ordinary, plain saddle, will last through years of herding longhorns without much pain.
We used to have a larger group
Ten thousand head at best
Once we had the largest herd
Of Longhorn in the west
But, times got tough, we sold a few
There was the drought back in '11
I didn't know it got so bad
But, now....we're down to seven
Yep, seven steers and cows and calfs
Out standing in our field
There's not a lot of meat out there
It's really a poor yield
The Longhorns down in Texas
Took our football tickets back
They said that our best looking cow
Was like a blanket on a rack
We've done our best to make amends
We'll be on top once more, I'm sure
But, we have to keep the calfs all fed
Or else ....we're down to four
There's lots of land for them to graze
They'll grow big, I am assured
But, now I find it difficult
To call seven head...a herd
I'll tell you a tale when Texas was young
When women were scarce and horse thieves were hung.
His name was Jake and he was six feet four -
Prob'ly weighed three hundred or maybe more.
Came down from Kansas with crime on his mind.
Figgered to steal Longhorns - cows of some kind.
He'd get filthy rich drivin' 'em North -
Cows that big, why no guessin' their worth.
So he got a crew and started to scout.
Found a fair sized herd with no one about.
He planned to rope that bull, cows would follow,
As he led up the trail through that hollow.
He got the loop thrown and took up the slack -
It went to Hell when that Longhorn looked back.
He threw that Mustang clear up in the air,
Then stomped on Jake pretty much everywhere.
The crew scattered and never did look back -
Old Jake was walkin' and carryin' his tack.
Some say he was seen as he crossed the Red.
Saddle slung on his back, bandage on his head.
They say he has changed, his life is now full -
And he owes it all to a Longhorn bull.
2/23/18
He came knock knockin' on heaven's door,
Hat in his hand and boots on the floor.
St. Pete said,"Son, what you doin' here?
You ain't scheduled for many a year."
The cowboy said,"Well, I thought that, too -
But longhorns don't think like me and you."
He told a tale of untimely death -
He had cussed longhorns with his last breath.
He told of a bull that he had roped
That just hadn't stopped as he had hoped.
He had just whirled and charged at his horse,
"Wellsir, I went to runnin', of course.
But he was somewhat faster than me.
He knocked me down with those horns, you see,
Then jumped on me until he got tired -
And somewhere in there I just expired."
St. Pete said,"Son, I do feel for you -
But longhorn cows are God's creatures, too."
Then the cowboy just sat down a spell -
Said," Forget I knocked, I'm headin' for Hell."
8/17/17
I need to go wild where the whiskey flows,
And where the cards make a shufflin' flutter.
I will go wherever the young blonde goes,
And hope her blue eyes don't make me stutter.
Been ridin' this trail for a long damn time -
Pushin' these longhorns toward Santa Fe.
All I've got in these pants is one thin dime -
But I will raise hell when I get my pay.
I've ridden five hundred miles or better
With nothin' but blue eyes teasin' my brain.
Don't know her name, but I aim to get her -
At the end of this trail I'll stop all this pain.
If you've never ridden a horse this far,
Be thankful, my friend, and stay where you are.
3/4/2017
"Son", says I, "now that you are grown,
Take some advice from this old man.
A cowboy's life , as it's well known,
Is Hell on earth in blowin' sand."
"Survival seems high on the list
Of the things we try most to do
An' happiness is often missed
So I'll pass these thoughts on to you.
"First of all you must learn to dance.
Women will be part of your life.
The old two-step leads to romance -
An' you must take yourself a wife.
"Secondly is about your herd.
Keep longhorns down here on the plain.
In the mountains bears are absurd -
They eat cows again and again.
"There's a lot in a cowboy's world
There'll be laughter and tears to spare
Don't forget to dance with that girl
And stay clear away from that bear"
May 26, 2016
For the contest The Five Word Challenge, for Timothy Hicks
Five Words:
Cowboy's
Survival
Dance
Bears
Longhorns
Missin’ Pieces
I learnt a lot just getting’ here
Been many a year passed
Most of my smarts come from the trail
What you don’t know, just ast.
Ropin’ longhorns can be scary
It’s good to feel some fear.
You’ll lose a finger in a blink –
Like this one missin’ here.
Now keep yor’ rope from getting’ frayed
‘Cause when it does it breaks.
It snaps right back into yor’ face
And these two teeth it takes.
When yor’ workin’ those longhorn cows
You’d best stay on yor’ hoss.
Got stepped on in San Angelo
My big toe’s a great big loss.
I lost this piece off’n my ear,
Tryin’ to shoe a stud.
He turnt around and bit my head –
Like I was just some dud.
The hardest thing about all this -
That gal I met last year.
Up in her room she looked an’ said,
“Cowboy, you ain’t all here !”
Chicago's been dubbed the windy town,
but Great Falls has that tag nailed down.
If you're facing Montana's fierce wind,
you're moving where you didn't intend.
Prairie grass rolls like ocean waves,
tumbleweed mounds resemble graves.
Aspen leaves' fluttery swirls abound,
scarcely settling their golden mound.
Longhorns stay bunched within a draw,
hoping the wind will soon lose claw.
Snow gusts into drifts high and wide,
pickups and hay-balers shrouded inside.
Who sent this wild, careless wind
the bronco busters cannot unbend?
This, I suppose, could be left unsaid:
Keep those Stetsons jammed on your head!
Chirp, chirp goes the bluejay,
Flying about the clear blue sky,
On fine feathered wings,
Not worrying about a thing.
The small bird lands on a branch,
Overseeing the old ranch,
Horses run about here and there,
While longhorns are grazing everywhere.
The birds watches a cowboy rustle a calf,
And people gathering around the other half,
Clapping their hands and cheering,
As the bluejay sits on his perch peering.
The small bird flies away,
Not wanting to stay,
Flying into the setting sun,
For the day is almost done,
He will return tomorrow,
And never feel a day of sorrow.
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