Long Weirder Poems

“The Scorpion’s Touch”

Under glass
the sound cuts out sharp
just like under water
and we run out of breath 
like insects running around 
frantically out of time
we are magnified 
in our tight enclosures

internally observed
the external turns away
two heart...

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Each English-speaker knows that funner means more fun than fun,
   and weirder means more weird than weird. And yet nary a one
of "proper" dictionaries has neologism words -
   the editors must...

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His real name was Cliff...
But we called him
Cleo Van Hoppenburg,
Better known as "Uncle Cleo",
To all who did love him...
Though not quite normal of mind,
He was the center of attention,
You probably know the kind...

Favorite phrases...
"Ho, ho,...

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All of a sudden I miss a step
And then you excuse me the lack of continuity 
He dragged me here, taking me by my hair and then asked me to leave some space in me...

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Do you remember that young guy called Sandy, the lad who was always predicting the future? Joe said he died a couple of days ago. The guys were joking, he didn’t predict that.
The guys would...

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...If this was Heaven, it made little sense,
would not they get newcomers all the time?
How could this seem so bizarre to their mind?
Wouldn’t this have to have happened to them?
I just sighed loud and shook...

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I had a cat name snowball
she died!
she died!

my mom said she was at the vet
she lied!
she lied!

....

Just Kidding!


Oh no!
Look at this joe
Face on the desk cause he's writing so low
Lifted his head and what did...

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OF ROY AND PINCH BANDITS

Claims Roy one day
to have been approached
by an angel of GOD
alleges the said angel
brought him news
news that he would pass to glory
complete with day and time...

Come the day... Roy
arranges meeting with...

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I stand before the Injustice and I cannot see 
Don't understand it so I just let it be
I inhale the air I can't see it but I can feel it 
I don't understand it but...

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I live in a trailer park in upstate N.Y.
proud, dumb white trailer trash I is
don't really know well my neighbors
to me that is just as well
you'll understand far better when
you hear the tale I'll tell

across...

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Hello, I am a praying mantis from the tropics,
a killer really, once I bit off the head of my lover;
and then I ate him, yummy and then I was caught,
I ended up in a pet...

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> My parents gave me advice. Of the dead only speak nice. Now if I heard right someone is being critical of Sir Terry Wogan, and that is not right. So as The Mad Author...

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I want to write about this sad feeling in my chest, but I won't
Before that swamped me, I'd noticed a new spiderweb
But it's a spiderweb that engenders an apology 

Allow your mind to drift back...

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Ecstasy comes in many forms
I'm sure you know that's true
Religious, sexual, spiritual and more
But to me I've found one so strong
All others would make me blue

I'm a musician, and only musicians
can understand,
Thr rush, the high,...

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This love at first sight
Leaves my jaws pretty tight
Lips tremble despite the confusion so slight
I remain just calm to serve on right
But I see a night in broad daylight
I ask myself, is this fiction twilight
Or...

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WHAT IF?

Alone with my thoughts on a thoughtful day; just thinking
I thought of many things but one thing keeps replaying; what if?
What if there is more to life than just being meaning and meaningless to...

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The only thing weirder than my mom, is the way she says her “r’s.” Growing up, every time she’d ask if I wanted a grilled cheese, I thought she said “girl cheese.” Wanting to retain...

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The clever current galaxy is cock-eyed, surreal, and night is day.
2020 has been weirder than weird, almost everyone has had to pay.
If the internet went out forever, I would not greet it with surprise.
We are...

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O Camelot! O Camelot!
The winds have changed, the land got hot!
Though dromedaries are quite neat,
A bactrian's hard to unseat,
And so the knights still joust a lot.

At banquet feasts, the men are found,
And like the table,...

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Deep under subteranion covers where nowhere
lingers everywhere and the decrepit lights of man
die to the world 
Wrapped in rags-a masachistic christ plotting my 
crucifixtion born again and again washed in 
human guts-baptized by fire just...

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A full moon is known for making people do things that are weirder and weirder. It only appears at night, even when the Earth rotates and stuff. It happens on every 14th of 15th of...

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I was running so hard my feet were nearly raw!
This was worse than the time I ate a rusty thing of coleslaw
I started to stumble back
Man I really need a big mac
I tumbled over right...

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His eyes were green but no one noticed
Even though he was the only green-eye in the room.
His hair was red, but so were all of ours
We are McCormicks so it makes sense right?

The thing we...

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I can see your eyes constantly roaming from my head to my thighs and I can't take the 
stares anymore. If you want to say "hi" just be a man and approach me I am...

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She came in all sassy and wanted to drive a school bus.
We told her our school is unusual and she said that is fine.
We have witches, warlocks, gargoyles, a ghost name of Gus.
She said my...

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