Long Waiter Poems
Long Waiter Poems. Below are the most popular long Waiter by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Waiter poems by poem length and keyword.
•• When a new hive is done, what do the bees do?
Have a house-swarming party,
and give a welcome hearty.
•• What did the duck say to the waiter?
"Let me have my fill,
just put it on my bill.”
•• Why is the mushroom always the hit of the party?
He's a real fungi,
loves to play the pungi.
•• Why do coffee beans have successful marriages?
Their love is well founded,
They keep each other grounded.
•• Why do pizza chefs work extra hard?
The flour bed, they hoe,
They knead the dough.
•• Why can’t you lie to the x-ray tech?
Don't let them get to you,
They can see right through you.
•• Why did the balloons run away from the concert?
The reason pinned was basic,
They were playing pop music!
•• What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop?
Trying to stay in the loop,
Getting the sundae scoop!
•• What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?
Cut the case short!
Odor in the court!
•• What do you call a sleeping bull?
It's a bull-dozer,
Don't go closer.
•• Where does a fish keep its money?
To be frank,
On the river bank.
•• What kind of whale is the saddest?
A blue whale,
Looking pale.
•• How does the ocean say farewell?
It behaves
And waves.
•• What fruit do twins like best?
Pears!
Equal shares!
•• Why did the kid climb the tree to study?
It was the best location
To get a higher education.
8th March 2023
For Margarita Lillico's "Pun fun" contest
(All puns taken from yourdictionary.com and edited and rhymed by me)
I don’t dream often, but I dream of Jeanie,
the only one who ever touched my Nadi.
I met her bathing in the Irrawaddy.
You’d classify her as an in-betweenie,
but looking pretty hot in that bikini!
She got me going when she called me ‘daddy’!
Jean self-identified as “thorough baddie,”
but never let me see her Kundalini.
I couldn’t leave her working in that paddy,
so whisked her off to Venice. Like Houdini,
she made the transformation: loved linguini:
but part-time jobs (a waiter, then a caddy)
meant I could not afford her. One bellini
cost forty bucks! Forget the Lamborghini!
It was not a Parisian café
though it tried to be.
Our teeth were strong
they flashed
intermittently.
The house wine was red,
the bread was good bread.
The creamy leaf was dressed,
it bloomed and licked the mouth
with a blithe bouquet of ease and tease.
The fish was dunked in a
blue dish of piquant delight.
A butter fat flounder fandangoed
upon our tongues just right.
We were trying, working the words,
leaning into anything
that would further our cause.
Alas signals were misread
gambits misunderstood
subtleties stubbled over ambrosial food.
Tight lipped
we nibbled and sipped.
Time slipped, barely recovering,
the waiter was smooth, his speech
a soupcon of olive upon a slippery smear.
We tried to repair
tried to mend that which was not there.
At the frothy tick of the hour
coffee dark resignations shrugged.
We briefly hugged while hope
crumbled upon a red and white cloth,
hurried promises exchanged,
a cheek peck and wane smiles
pale preludes to nothing at all
and nothing arranged.
It was awhile since
yet
we met again
though we were ever the same,
for nothing went anywhere
and that was it
to be never again.
JACK DANIELS met JIM BEAM at the CANADIAN CLUB
to discuss their upcoming trip on the CUTTY SARK.
They were planning a vacation to a Caribbean cove
to get some SOUTHERN COMFORT.
JOHNNY WALKER, who had a disagreement with
them over their SLOE GIN game, wanted to
give them a SAKI. "VODKA ya think you're doing?"
chimed in GIBSON, who was a BEEFEATER sitting nearby.
"It's not like EARLY TIMES...so just wipe that
SMIRNOFF your face." A brawl would have started,
but a beautiful woman came in. "Look at them
COURVOISIERs," said the MARTIN MILLERs.
They noticed her ring with the BLUE SAPHIRE from
BOMBAY.
JACK DANIELS immediately lost interest in the argument,
and asked if he could sit with her. She agreed and he sat
down. He noticed that she had a B & B monogram on her blouse.
"I've not seen you here before...what's your name and where
are you from?" he asked.
In a charming southern accent she replied, "Ma name is
MARGARITA, Ahm new in town, and Ahm from HENNESSY."
When the waiter came over, they ordered two MINT JULEPS.
It was the start of a relationship that the DEWARS of them
enjoyed, especially when they bowled SCOTCH doubles together.
Still wishing
Along the lines of fantasy
with crystal glasses flowing the brim
Soft hands would meet on white linen,
as your eyes take me places I have never been
Silence tingles while our hearts speak
across candle flame and glittered dreams
Such is the beauty of this night
neither belong, yet here we are
Fears generate passion
on this perfect evening so young,
and our love forbidden, taboo
but breathing of temptation
Lips ignite a fire within,
looking over shoulders for whoever
only finding desires calling
in the mist of the crowded city
Scented bliss finds me,
arms reach for a touch, long hot touch
behind closed doors
holding back all but the guilt
Still a fever burns as skin blushes
beneath moon lit intoxication
Silhouettes merge, moist in cravings
lone of simpler moments
Fingers dance and sighs sing,
satin sheets spill to unsuspecting floors
when deep in the throws is found,
words have no meaning
Whispers lose their bearing
as oceans part and white foam pleasure
caresses the smooth shore
on this uncharted island called love
Startled by the waiter refilling my glass
I still see you across the room
lingering in his smile, lost in his hypnotic gaze
and here I sit, still . . . wishing it were me
Good night Soupers
NOUVELLE CUISINE
Nouvelle cuisine the waiter said, as he served the food to me
Where’s the rest I asked him, as I’d earlier skipped my tea
Tiny bits of something on a massive bloody dish
I tried to woo my girlfriend by pretending I was swish
You can pick the restaurant, was my very first mistake
I thought she’d pick our local for some scampi or a steak
Instead she chose Pierre’s, which was going to be steep
I’d heard the food was lovely though the prices made you weep
I gazed upon the menu, which was written out in French
And scanned along the prices, which made my buttocks clench
To refrain from looking stupid, I ordered some red wine
We requisitioned dinner and prepared ourselves to dine
A puny bowl of soup arrived, we felt a touch irate
We had to eat it quickly or it could evaporate
The main course had potato which was hidden by some meat
Five al-dente vegetables, all stacked up nice and neat
A de-constructed rhubarb tart, that’s what they served us next
Though why they took it all apart has left us kinda vexed
We left a tip and paid the bill…a pretty hefty fee
Then dandered into town and we got a KFC
The store sign read “The Christmas House”
so we walked right in, greeted by giant Mouse!
Upon his head was a fluffy Santa Cap;
truly he was quite a friendly chap.
In the warm Foyer he took my coat;
a Chihuahua chorus barked holiday notes.
I knew they served great pet treats
but this place is amazing and sweet!
An elf waiter skated up to me
and handed me some wine and Brie!
To my dog Ben he gave a scone
shaped just like a big dog bone.
“Welcome, welcome, our new guests”
he sang to us with great zest;
“You’ll have the happiest time in here
I’m sorry, would you prefer a Nog or beer?”
I thanked him and said all was fine
and I swear that was a vintage wine.
we ate and drank and felt so merry,
I even enjoyed some plums and cherries.
Progressing to the other rooms
we smelled the finest of perfumes;
wafting from within the kitchen
of gingerbread, Ben ate a smidgen.
The next room had a singing snowman;
around him kittens played Kick The Can.
There were Christmas trees in each room
and pets could visit Santa on Zoom!
Christmas bones, and treat shaped mice;
were served by elves, how very nice;
I met the cat who did the cooking and baking,
jerky and chicken fingers he was making
Imagine my surprise as I drew near;
a cat chorus that brought me such cheer.
It was directed by a talented Dalmatian;
and my heart did swell with elation.
The harmony unlike any I’d heard,
those felines sounded just like songbirds.
poodles were hanging Christmas wreaths
a beagle hung icicles on a tree.
The animals left with packages galore;
it was a fine place, that’s for sure.
As we left a Great Dane gave a shout,
“Next year they’re hav’in a bigger blowout!”
“A Merry Christmas to Ben and his human,
we thank you for stopp’in by and Zoom’in.”
I wished them all great holiday cheer
and Ben and I’ll sure be back next year.
Little Red Riding Hood took a lunch
to her grandma who liked to munch
Riding Hood liked to play like waiter
until Wolf spied her and then ate her.
Little Bo Peep had trouble with sheep
They'd follow grass. "Stop it," she'd peep.
One got lost, causing Bo to sniff:
"That's it!" and pushed all over cliff.
Cinderella got dressed for the dance
Mean stepsisters said, "Think you have a chance?"
Cindy lost shoe, Prince said, "Yeah,she'll do."
That wasn't hard, she said. (gee, who knew!)
Jack traded cow for a magic beanstalk
His mom was angry, said, "take a walk"
He climbed stalk, killed giant, stole gold bullion
invested in bitcoins, and made a gazillion!
There's surely a moral to the fairytale story
Beware what happens when things get gory!
Echelon; let’s take a quick stop at my favorite restaurant.
I feel a little funny.
I need food in my tummy.
I have not much money, but my tummy is empty.
Waiter, get me some peas and a glass of tea with plenty of honey.
The waiter asked while he went past,
Would you like clams or ham and cheese with your tea and peas?
Decisions, decisions, which one of these shall I have?
I do like them both.
Maybe, I should have clams and a half or ham and cheese.
My aunt Chalant makes the best ham and cheese.
Clams make me sneeze, ill at ease not a disease.
Gee weez!
Shall I get on my knees?
Please! Bring my tea and peas.
What shall I do?
I have not much money, but my tummy is empty.
Should I have clams and sneeze, or shall I have ham and cheese, or shall I have both a troth.
Decisions, decisions, shall I just have tea and peas?
4/13/2017
Another day in paradise,
The sun is shining bright.
A sea breeze gently blows,
And there's not a cloud in sight.
With volleyball on the beach,
And surfers riding waves.
There's coral on the reef,
And canoers in the caves.
Boats skim the horizon,
And the wind fills their sails.
There's contests building castles,
And the sand fills their pails.
My toes are in the water,
While bikinis pass me by.
The waiter brings my drink,
And I release a heavy sigh.
When the sun begins to set,
All the people gather round.
We watch it slowly sink,
And never make a sound.
As the stars come out to play,
And the moon reflects the sun.
It's the ending of the day,
But the party's just begun.