Home » Poems » Dan Cwiak » Bawdy Beverages

Bawdy Beverages

JACK DANIELS met JIM BEAM at the CANADIAN CLUB
to discuss their upcoming trip on the CUTTY SARK.
They were planning a vacation to a Caribbean cove
to get some SOUTHERN COMFORT.

JOHNNY WALKER, who had a disagreement with
them over their SLOE GIN game, wanted to 
give them a SAKI. "VODKA ya think you're doing?"
chimed in GIBSON, who was a BEEFEATER sitting nearby.

"It's not like EARLY TIMES...so just wipe that
SMIRNOFF your face."  A brawl would have started,
but a beautiful woman came in.  "Look at them
COURVOISIERs,"  said the MARTIN MILLERs.
They noticed her ring with the BLUE SAPHIRE from
BOMBAY.

JACK DANIELS immediately lost interest in the argument,
and asked if he could sit with her.  She agreed and he sat 
down. He noticed that she had a B & B monogram on her blouse. 
"I've not seen you here before...what's your name and where 
are you from?"  he asked.

In a charming southern accent she replied, "Ma name is 
MARGARITA, Ahm new in town, and Ahm from HENNESSY."
When the waiter came over, they ordered two MINT JULEPS.
It was the start of a relationship that the DEWARS of them
enjoyed, especially when they bowled SCOTCH doubles together.

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Maurice Rigoler

Date: 10/12/2015 6:54:00 PM

Very clever and enjoyable. Not a beer drinker much less hard liquor, just a good glass of red wine hits it for me. Best to you in your writing endeavors. / M

Dan Cwiak
Date: 10/12/2015 8:50:00 PM

Thanks, Maurice. I appreciate a good glass of wine now, as well. I appreciate your comments.

Mark Woods

Date: 10/6/2015 1:58:00 AM

Dan you must drink to much. lol A very entertaining write, and the worrying thing is I know so many of these drinks!

Dan Cwiak
Date: 10/6/2015 2:07:00 AM

Thanks, Mark. I was a bartender and had to deal with a lot of different types of brands and drinks. I don't drink much more than a glass of wine now, although in a past life I did tend to imbibe more than I should...maybe it was the company I kept. lol I apprecaite the read and your comments.