Long Unfunny Poems

OLD TESTAMENT

It was wisdom that I sought within those venerable old pages
Yet found tales of folly, arrogance and cruelty in profusion
Where were knowledge, truths, enlightenment, refined throughout the ages?
What direction to a righteous life, discernment,...

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Get out of my way!
I’m in my car and I’ve got to be first all the way.
I’ve got to prove something about myself.
Number one me all the time, has to be me, no one else.

Get...

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Creepy Clown....

I despise Clowns their so NOT funny
WOULDNT waste my time or hard earned money!
Painted smiles on your fake 
ugly  clown face
Can't hide my aggrevation 
Or my distaste 
You  smile behind YOUR silly...

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There is a building down town in the MIDST  Of POVERTYVILLE called the
POCKET. The pocket is used to store supplies and house programs for the poor.
Open the POCKET DOOR. No need for proof. Of...

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I used to think

Until the penny dropped

Upon my tinny little head

And then I stopped

As then and forever after

From that very moment on I knew

I could never no longer pretend
that which I did not to know...

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Jamie decides today will be the day 
we take off to Kansas. 
We've both dreamt of it, 
driving off to flat lands 
where we would be swept off, 
cackling, 
on our brooms to Oz. 

I...

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I don’t even want to think,
My life is laid down black as ink,
All the good is in the past,
For those three hollow faces I did what I thought was the best.

I worked a couple poppy...

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It's funny,
when we are asked questions and we don't seem to get it. we end up only to find out that the 
answer lies within the alphabet of A-Z.

It's funny,
how often we wonder how much...

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Buttercups are dancing to singing daffodils
King Neptune, with his trident, is surfing down a hill
Rabbits playing hopscotch with rainbow coloured frogs
Snails with sparkly spinning shells slither along gold logs.

Wolves in sheep's clothing are bleating nonstop,
Four...

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Eyes see moments of our birth
As little helpless babies with no neck to support our big heads
Which push society around as they grow in girth
When we fuss and kick mom’s in beds  

Where once...

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Why do I want what I want  
Is it because I'd matter if I have it
Or I’d feel less miserable 
Like I contribute something valuable
And all of a sudden I'll be visible 
Maybe I...

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Unlock your life’s padlock and turn not hands of time
Whether lemonade from lassitude lemons
Tastes awful, text messages irritate the mime
Your rate unfunny as savoury sermons

Scare daylights out of the bittersweet life you live
Regardless of storms...

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some sunny saturday
i want us to meet halfway
drive to the coast and just cool out
want to see you smile in the moderate sunshine
want to put suntan lotion on your thighs
want to hear your unique guffaw...

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schools encourage students
to grow up have recess-fun
behave and become mature
responsible people who mind
their business and help others
however there be a problem

the ukraine leader was a stage comedian
before being elected head of his party
in the school...

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The spotlight flashes funny flair on sagged dress,
miniature crimson sun stuck on the porcelain face.
An animated caricature in comical frail human figure
tramps round and round the circus pitch to amuse. 

Sprightly body gyrates in flexed...

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I had waited and waited fruitlessly
For a day like this to come
A day when you'll finally
Feel the way I feel for you
All were only a dream
Because your heart was never for me

I had waited at...

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Peanut butter sarnies
Wacky baccy smoke
Hysterical laughter
At an unfunny joke
Colours so intense 
Brighter than I've ever seen
Sound reverbing through me
Clearer than it's ever been
Passing the material of her
Skirt through my fingers
A softly caressing sensation
That soothes and...

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You think you’re riding high, so high falutin’:
the fact is, you’re the dumbest ox in town.
There’s no-one as unfunny as a clown:
reforming is a thing, but you’re just looting.
Repudiating allies while you’re rooting
for enemies will...

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My puns are not too punny.
They are puny -
so itty-bitty that they have no bite-y.
Like tiny turtles with no turtle necks
or like selfish shellfish
offering no worthy catch,
what good are they when they’re so poor?
My puns...

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