Long Unfunny Poems
Long Unfunny Poems. Below are the most popular long Unfunny by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Unfunny poems by poem length and keyword.
Dooshay the Clown, with an evil smile so wide,
So ugly and scary he made people run and hide.
Dooshay was loud, rude, arrogant and mean
He was the most unfunny clown I have ever seen.
Dooshay was truly sinister with ice blue eyes that would stare
His lack of personal hygiene, brought a rotten stench to the air.
"I am the smartest clown to ever live!" he would loudly proclaim,
Bullying others was his sick little game.
He thought he was the most handsome clown ever, second to none
But he was morbidly obese, dumber than a rock and not very fun.
The loved looking in the mirror, thinking no other clown can compare.
He believed that no circus could find a more amazing clown anywhere
Dooshay had a short fuse. His temper tantrums were like an angry storm.
He had little regard for others. His heart was far from warm.
He was cruel and manipulative and enjoyed gaslighting.
He loved starting trouble and enjoyed fighting.
Dooshay had a sense of superiority, he thought he had lots of wits and smarts.
He was smug and pretentious and was in love with the smell of his own farts.
He thought he was a ladies man, beautiful women were his to pick.
He was unaware that no one wanted his flacid little deek.
Dooshay, walked with his red nose in the air as he strutted so proud,
He would get cry and pout when he heard no cheers from the crowd.
Behind his back they would mock him and roll their eyes.
Dooshay the Clown was such a good liar that he believed his own lies.
I woke up, the dream was better then the world. The dream was just a nightmare. But the world really is a dark clown circus. A punchline in an unfunny joke. People say they want love but won't give up their own animosity.
One minute they're fighting, then another minute, and another. They're always fighting. They act like clowns hoping other people will laugh alongside them. But what they did wasn't funny. People have died and they still think it's a joke.
Some of the clowns think the most important part of the show is the blue ring, some think it's the red ring. But when they're both on fire only the tiger gets burned.
The clowns will always try show you an elephant in the room so you don't notice the tiger lives in a cage, or that it gets burned no matter which hoop it was forced through.
I want to leave the circus, but the clowns aren't having it. They push me back into a seat and continue with their jokes that really aren't funny. They tell me nobody can fill the big shoes. The shoes of a leader. Something about the lesser of two evils.
But I don't believe them. They're all twisting and shaping their own balloon animals thinking it's entertaining. Blowing them up, bigger and bigger, then someone gets popped. Half of them laugh and the other half cry. Over and over again.
I'm sick of this show. There's no such thing as a lesser evil. People just choose complicity when they get what they want, and the show goes on. I told you the punchline wasn't funny, and why I preferred the nightmare. Atleast in my dreams tomorrow might be different.
I hear there's a new show in town but no one is going. It's not a circus at all. Just a lone daredevil trying out altruism. There's no job for a clown, that's why they keep us at the circus instead. Keep us staring at the elephants, and hoping the tiger will be forced through the propper ring. Nobody cares about the tiger, so long as their paycheck arrives on time. The show is only full because it's full of sell outs. I can't believe so many people still think it's funny.
My puns are not too punny.
They are puny -
so itty-bitty that they have no bite-y.
Like tiny turtles with no turtle necks
or like selfish shellfish
offering no worthy catch,
what good are they when they’re so poor?
My puns – they haven’t got
a piss to pot in!
I hate luch slack of imagination – and
my spoonerisms that aren’t worth
the dime of tay.
Punny yet unfunny
my puny roony RATatouille
loony woony play of turds!
They should dink far sown
to the sodom of the deep gomorrah sea
where Moby’s dick perhaps is berried.
(or pickled maybe?)
I guydress.
Time to put this roam to pest.
Buttercups are dancing to singing daffodils
King Neptune, with his trident, is surfing down a hill
Rabbits playing hopscotch with rainbow coloured frogs
Snails with sparkly spinning shells slither along gold logs.
Wolves in sheep's clothing are bleating nonstop,
Four hyenas harmonise, in a barbers shop.
Centipedes were newly crowned; Kings Of Tug Of War
While spiders spin silk candy floss for their online store.
A pony with a sore throat, was sounding rather hoarse
Moles queued to play nine rounds on Trumps new golf course.
The parrot kept repeating the same unfunny joke
The magician did his magic tricks with a talking cloak.
I came across a chip tree, surrounded by a moat
Where fish were reading newspapers in a paper boat
The moat is filled with batter and when a fish goes in,
A sudden blast of dragon's breath, cooks and seals the fish within.
I thanked a praying mantis, who had taught me self-defence
Only then to realize, none of this made any sense.
I blamed it on the late night snack before I went to bed
Then said goodnight, to the squid, that's curled around my head.
19.05.22
Get out of my way!
I’m in my car and I’ve got to be first all the way.
I’ve got to prove something about myself.
Number one me all the time, has to be me, no one else.
Get out of my way!
It’s says 37.5 hours on my contract but I’ll give them an extra ten all the way.
I’ve got to prove something to the man.
Laugh at unfunny jokes and talk football, no problem.
Get out of my way!
Be the man in the team! In the clique, must be neat to be me.
Miss my kids dance competition for bevvies with the office lads.
Flirt with young women while she’s at home cooking my tea.
I wear the trousers in my house, yeah, that’s right, that’s me!
Get out of my way!
Calm down old timer. New blood’s here and here to stay.
See how they all laugh at his jokes now.
Wow, I had hair like that, I did… wow.
All the office girls flirt with the young guy with his taught, unblemished skin. Square jaw, bright eyes, full smile, great hair, youth flair, damn that enigmatic thing!
I’m invisible to their smiles with my fading hair, hopeful glare and saggy skin!
Can I get past please?
I gave this place my everything.
I sacrificed time with my wife and my kids.
I was cool but now I’m defrosted it seems.
Remember when we did that guys, in that pub, thar was me?
Yeah but that’s not hip now old timer, just your sad history!
Get out of my way.
You promised to do the lawn today. I’ll fix that gate you did say!
The grandkids are coming tonight for the next three days.
But, I told the lads I’d meet them for a few bevvies after work later today.
You don’t work any more, just make sure you fix the gate, do the lawn and get your grandkids some pop and ice cream later today and for goodness sake please just get out of my way.
If you find this verse slightly apocalyptic, don't despair. We are not there yet. But the trend has started
Mankind, on the brink of change
We're at the cusp, robotics age
Lives, work and love be re-arranged
The world stares down a yet blank page
No, nothing will be as we used to
Computer brains solving all
Insert itself our minds into
Not like a breeze but as a squall
This automation will be scary
When fix your car and buy the food
The changeover rather hairy
"It will be for your own good"
A.I. knows all of your demeanor
More than you're knowing of yourself
To act as guard, assistant, screener
But also master in itself
The jobs be lost. Don't need as many
Good working skills - A.I. is king
They will be gone like U.S. penny
The change is what new age shall bring
Controlled by phones and computers
No longer conscious what we see
Hey, women, men're no longer suitors
As if all guys are swept to sea
Robotics ends the "loving troubles"
Those wanting sex will find it cheap
While marriage heads to utter rubbles
Girls shall be left alone, to weep
The feminism shall be finished
Good wives, be clinging to thy men!
Deranged dames be diminished
Caprice, delusion equals ban
"The intellect grows kids in vitro"
Oh, ladies, time to change your mind
Be meek and loyal, as in retro
Or find yourselves be left behind
Men opt for freedom, solace, money
Them choosing peace is way to go
Build fewer families, unfunny
And populations shrink, not grow
A pension doled to all the living
No jobs be left in one's old field
Expect no longer earn a living
Perhaps a fate to be unsealed
Computers write software and verses
The actors dead to play again
Gene mods avail age reverses
And there will be no more pain
My verse describes the thinnest sliver
Of what is coming down the pike
The Earth beneath our feet shall quiver
Choose to accept it or dislike
January 18, 2026
Peanut butter sarnies
Wacky baccy smoke
Hysterical laughter
At an unfunny joke
Colours so intense
Brighter than I've ever seen
Sound reverbing through me
Clearer than it's ever been
Passing the material of her
Skirt through my fingers
A softly caressing sensation
That soothes and lingers
It seems I'll never tire
Just can't get too much
Of the texture of the cloth
Electric to my touch
Passing that toke
Between us to and fro
Each inhalation
Very deep and slow
Her head on my shoulder
Arm around my waist
Dreamy sort of time
Nothing done in haste.
It's seem I am floating
Drifting towards the sky
Immersing in the depths
Of this technicolor high
Senses enhanced until
Sliding slowly to the norm
Visions disappear as in time
The world reassures its form
You think you’re riding high, so high falutin’:
the fact is, you’re the dumbest ox in town.
There’s no-one as unfunny as a clown:
reforming is a thing, but you’re just looting.
Repudiating allies while you’re rooting
for enemies will never earn the crown
you crave: and, in advance of sitting down,
you showed your hand. You gave the game to Putin.
Stupidity does not deserve excusing.
It takes a man to take his share of blame,
a thing you’ll never do. You have no shame.
Your hand-picked team are taking drugs and boozing,
already reconciled inside to losing,
because (like you) they ever knew the game.
schools encourage students
to grow up have recess-fun
behave and become mature
responsible people who mind
their business and help others
however there be a problem
the ukraine leader was a stage comedian
before being elected head of his party
in the school yard where-in as class-clown
he seeks cheers and applause for unfunny
psychopathic gang fights with those with
whom they've lived for decades so that
peace ends and school yard fighting reigns
reputations of the biggest bullies who clamber
for a piece of the weapons profit all while
people are dying for publicity and bank accounts
of the usa as the biggest weapon-profits sucker
on the planet that threatens those who want
peace talks (china) because the fighters then
might be removed (and put on an island somewhere)
to fight or work and talk out their problems apart from us
immature people must not be put in charge.....period
stan sand
The spotlight flashes funny flair on sagged dress,
miniature crimson sun stuck on the porcelain face.
An animated caricature in comical frail human figure
tramps round and round the circus pitch to amuse.
Sprightly body gyrates in flexed moves of acrobatics,
sleight of hands performs the perfect act of jugglery,
but labored buffoonery of the unfunny fragile clown
falls flat as flakes of stale joke on silent spectators.
Before the neon lights go out in the last show
the slapsticks peel the paint off his sweaty face.
Unmasking the trail of tears he has long cried
he sings a song on the lyric of his broken heart.
The uproar of laughter explodes in the gallery,
the applause hails the crumbled clown at the abyss.
March 6, 2020
Contest : Clown At The Abyss
Sponsor : Kai Michael Neumann
March 29, 2020
Contest : Strand No 710, Any Theme, Any Form
Sponsor : Brian Strand