Long Sweatpants Poems

Goodbye six pack hello* poetry scribes

My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook 
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography 
qua zee mow toe natural formed...

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Daylight dies
Blackout the sky
Does anyone care
Is anyone there 
Enjoy this life 
Pop open a Sprite 
Roll over to the right and kiss my wife 
She's fast asleep
Daylight is trynna come 
It's trynna creep 
When she...

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I am just finishing my morning meditation when I hear my doorbell ring. It actually sounds more like that buzzing sound you hear if you fry a fat fly on one of those electronic bug...

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Inextricably rooted with hair fixation

As a lad in grade school,
yours truly, (a diminutive, intuitive,
oversensitive, and vegetative potato head kid,
whose voice exhibited
a severe nasal twang)
felt envious at other boys,
especially those young bucks
who sported budding antlers
plus thick...

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Beddie bye boo ski time for yours truly and/or the missus

Found us abed thee twelfth day
of December, cuz yours truly 
still felt dehydration, physical 
fatigue and soreness,
which possibly linkedin
to using stationary bicycle.

Our bed (mine and...

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A couple weeks ago today, while I was sleeping in,
And lay so very unprepared to have the day begin,

I thought I heard the doorbell ring and slightly twitched my head…
I hoped I had imagined it,...

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Beddie bye boo ski time for yours truly and/or the missus

(joining "Wynken, Blynken and Nod"
at figurative drop of hat
even if yours truly immediately
woke from his slumbers).

When zapped of energy the sandman doth knock
no matter readout...

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Argh, I ne'er got muffin top before - why now!?

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein 
included an assortment of chow.

Impossible firm me 
(read...

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I know you won't see this 
but I must say how I felt the last half of year or so.
I was a coward 
but for good reason
for I knew my love was a gross romanticization...

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(alternately titled no particular reason:
bring unto “fake” trumpeting Caesar
seven salad dressings from deep freezer
and lettuce deign at your plea azure.)

Graced with boyish good looks,
innocence and naiveté to boot,
an especial loathing toward me
chicken legs re: spindleshanks

(which...

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Tamera liked to run in the cold, on a whim she stopped by Woolworth and bought a package 
of hot tamale candies to eat after her run.  She loved having a reward for everything....

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The house is burning 
With violent noise 
And red all-over.

I sit in the heat 
With a prayerful heart, 
That he would arrive. 

Superman in his
Spandex suit of hope
And cape of justice. 

I burrow inside
My mind...

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If mama could see me now, I’d say
You’d be jumping for joy
I used to stand tall on the old dusty chair next to the flower pot she used for an ash tray
I’d tell her, mama...

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I was working out on the elliptical machine in the gym, feeling good and watching 
the "Calories Burnt" number climb higher and higher.

Then, I noticed a rather shapely and attractive woman step off of the...

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Tip toe tip toe
[[creaaaaak]]
tip toe tip toe
little white ankle socks slide up brown wooden stairs
one...two...three...four....five....six....seven...eight...nine...ten...eleven...twelve...
one set of stairs down
tip toe tip toe
light gray sweatpants sweep the floor
tip toe tip toe
!!OW!! 
she stubs her foot in...

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after having cut off
everyone s/he loved or
having them made that decision
for him/her,
s/he was alone in 
training for months,
with a minimal diet
reducing
reducing
reducing,
with the workouts from twice a
day to a full time, 24/7,
mental & physical
pure dedication,
where all...

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Argh, I Ne'er Got  Got Bran Did With...
A  Muffin Top Before - Why Now!?

Impossible firm he (reed myth self)
to compete with Adonis, no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,
asper...

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As we grow up
We learn that even the 1 person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down 
probably will
You will have your heart broken more than once
And it’s harder every time
You’ll break hearts to…
So...

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And so the first rain pours down late one Autumn afternoon
Waiting for it in vain, its arrival is also a confirmation of many cold months ahead in the southern hemisphere
Another sunset of summer and sunrise...

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feeling drained
in a good way
don't know how to fill
the voided sore
now that the infected puss
has been spewed from within
and yet there is still
a crater,scar,sore
spot here that
itches to be scratched
what about that
is it matter
or is it...

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feeling drained
in a good way
don't know how to fill
the voided sore
now that the infected puss
has been spewed from within
and yet there is still
a crater,scar,sore
spot here that
itches to be scratched
what about that
is it matter
or is it...

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I'm sitting like a fat gray cat in the sun,
watching my forest gently dance, 
The wind is barely breezing, 

The bird songs are the only sounds
I hear except for the running water
of my fountain and...

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One particularly memorable critic referred to me as a neckbeard in a conversation with a friend this morning. Both of the twats were skinny, pencil-head net-dweebs, the types who frequent cesspools such as reddit.com or...

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on confessional summer streets of city
the heat scums in like a churlish treacle
in back of the five and dime bodies drift by
cotton barely captures their hides of leather
mock they come feasting their eyes the uninspired...

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Another true tom tale;

Not too long ago
I did really own
A pair of 
Fruit of the Loom briefs,
One detined to make me groan

For sure, it had,
Seen a better day,
And up until this time
I now surely wonder...

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