Long Stammering Poems
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I saw a grandma's eyes doze
In her walk she stumbled
She had a calm quiet stagger
See drunk of the firewater
Oh those spirit had her stumble
She would wave as she walked like a branch , a leaf in the wind
She drank the spirits
Now my grandma was the only one
Then I saw with mine, eye rassel lawn chair
Oh , it was rare to see this woman trying to get out of there
She drank the spirits
50%, calm and quiet 50%. stammering rage, quiet
Yet on the flip side of the coin
She screamed. rated and ranted like a roaring lion
It wasn't water, it wasn't KoolAid? It wasn't Coca-Cola, or Lipton tea
Grandma don't know if you was alcoholic, but you sure was close to being near it.
Ma, grandma drunk them spirit
Lo, them there ---"the spirit of "al co hol"
Those demented the liquid
Grandma drunk them spirits
8/9/26
Written wirds by James Edward Lee Sr
Thinking of years gone by of my mum
a real friend to me, a real support
always there in my stammering struggle
what would I have done without her comfort
Every Saturday morning we went to our town
on the bus together we spent quality time
the first stop was for tea and bacon roll
I had a hot orange drink as tea didn't rhyme
In those days the waitress was real smart
dressed in black with a white apron on front
this was a large department homeware store
with a tearoom at the top, a real long hunt
My mum on a Tuesday went to the coffee club
in Bank Street, took me when on my summer hols
she always had a lemon meringue pie
with her white coffee in a beautiful cup
These were lovely memories of my mum
she passed away suddenly of a heart attack
in 1981, so never saw me getting married
being adopted was I for she kept me on track
(Just thinking of my mum of those years ago and how a great friend and conmfort she was to me.)
The gaze he casts in my direction
Washes over me like a poisonous infection
Casting devious stares in my reflection
With his subtle rejection
My gaze bouncing across the billiard tables
Wondering if what I know about him are fables
Hiking my skirt, I grab my cue & aim
At pocketing this solid blue
One more time I switch my gaze to his location
I no longer found him in the billiard situation
He's nowhere to be found all around this room
He left tonight too soon
Billiards - I'd follow him on every full moon
Every time I open my mind - hoping he'll see -
Unfortunately, just gazing partners we'd ever be
At the billiard hall on full moons - across from me
I sighed & turned back my table's way
Then shot - & missed pocketing that solid blue
Shrugging my shoulders I said aloud:
"My fleeting inspiration is you."
I drank my last sip of Rum & Coke
Wiggled on my hoodie & got my purse ready to go
When off in the corner, I heard a voice say:
"I can't help but thinking I've seen you here before."
I spun around & in a dark-cornered chair
I saw man's silouette in darkness sitting over there
I knew he was the man I've been gazing to
"I-I'm Holly," stammering the words in his direction
& when I walked over there, it was just a reflection
An hour past midnight,
She rushed out of the head-storming library,
With a numb body, she drove hard, pretending he no longer mattered.
Still he ignored her, as always.
Till, the silent, deserted road heard a heart-wrenching crash...
He saw,
A body lying,
Close to death,
Wrapped in red blood.
With those half-lidded eyes,
She saw, she saw -
'Him'.
Running toward her,
Panicking,
Holding her and patting her face.
His white shirt coloured red,
Asking her to wake,
Screaming for help,
Calling an ambulance...
With those dizzy ears,
She heard, she heard -
'Him' say;
"I am with you.
I am with you.
I won't let anything happen.
Don't worry"
With those paralyzed lips,
She whispered, she whispered -
"I Love You"
Wee-oo-wee-oo
The siren wailed.
Holding his hand,
She rested on the stretcher.
His heart seemed to stop beating,
Waiting those hours alone in visitor's lounge;
He went restless again & again,
The moment she had confessed,
Seemed to replay, replay!
Stifling, he realised,
He had also fallen for her.
Operation finished, lights went off,
Doctors came out;
Stammering, he queried,
"No more", he caught.
Her still remains,
They gave.
Tears held back,
He clutched the deceased,
Kissing the forehead,
He let her be free at end.
Confidence and believing are two ingredients
that we all need to realise the vision
throughout life doubts fill the mind
lacking that something to make decision
Throughout life struggled in speech
stammering non fluent whatever it be
but thinking I can't speak normal like
always believing it can't be done not by me
Filled by doubts of the next word
always not able unsure tongue tied
telling one self cannot do it
all of one hopes have nearly died
On my wedding day believing I can do it
to say my vows fluently complete
this I did confident believing anew
no stammer that day it did delete
Even the speech at reception went fine
what a day to see vision realise
even just for these moments
makes one's confidence certainly rise
(This came from thinking on the following quote-
"There is no faster way to bring about misfortune than to think it is coming.
Thought is a powerful force, and it is a creative tool
that many people give little energy to --
or abandon in the face of any real threat
to safety or stability.
What are you worried about today? Why?
Rather than worry about it, would it not be
a better use of your mental time to visualize
a positive outcome? Use your mind in this way today
and you will have tapped one of the most
extraordinary tools God has placed in your hand
for the creation of your tomorrows.") - F.L. Lucan
the last tastes of summer slowly evaporate on my tender tongue.
no longer will fresh strawberries burst outside my cottage window,
nor will the smell of blooming lilacs fill my lungs.
as the first chills of changing seasons graze my skin,
gently rubbing my arms, i feel goosebumps forming from within.
the sunlight of hope gives way to the dusk of sorrow,
frost glistening as stardust reflects on autumn leaves.
a misty fog rolls in over the browning hills,
whilst isolation begins to take hold.
the distant birdsong of an owl echoes through the painful landscape.
staggering toward the unkempt window,
i shut the lightly dusted shutters,
so just for a brief moment in time, despondent worlds disappear.
behind a fabricated reality,
i can pretend with my indebted shadows.
stammering, i find the play button on my stereo;
goodbye to you rings in my mournful ears~
as the final warmth of yesterday shifts into the bitterness of perpetuity,
leaving my somber sky adorned with pixelated promises,
while this heart longs for an ethereal escape
from a raven-winged horizon,
cloaked in cracked amethysts and jinxed crystals.
when a monster is born
a savior shall be born
to slay him
must we wait
as the warrantee
awards himself further,
led astray, the seduction
of Aaron’s golden calf?
Guaranteed moral reduction
when the world is upside down
which way is N
o
r
t
h ?
H
a
r
m
o
n
y
stay free
from uncertainty
stay right here
stay right now
thin the eye of the eye unseen
in their hate
thus what does it mean
…to be alive ?
I shine brightest,
as bright as the moon’s radiance
when I come to you at sunset
I embrace
in every slur cast upon me
stammering
are their lyrics & notes
I rejoice
in the moments shared
even in the envious
& their mockups
with you my lover~
at sunset
my soul moans with a myriad
of questions
& countless emotions
war indemnifies
yet I am not afraid
for my heart
& conscience
come alive,
their insults forgiven
when love comes
to visit,
at sunset
Whisper of Conscience
Because of the canticle of everlasting love
Like a sunlit lyric sung upon a path
Life’s essence sheds freckles of pacing anxiety
That echo through catacombs of consternation
In a whisper of untranslated dots of braille.
Because of the breath of everlasting love
This gift wrapped in conscience speaks -
Sets up residence in delicate sounds of memory,
Censor of ambivalence toppling self-appointed righteous,
In dulcet tenored tones finally seeing compassion.
Because of the paean of everlasting love
Justification slips through the layers of juxtaposition
Revelation revealed in flimsy layers of ghostly lyrics -
In ruptured rhapsodies of rasping thin spirits quandaries
Bears the binding moniker of unexamined shoulds.
Because of the murmur of everlasting love
Like breath on a mirror the babble of turmoil’s uninvited wind
Deafens in dizziness - binds in triads of twirling debate,
Exposing measures with whitened bones of reason,
To bend innuendo’s deafness.
Because of the concerto of everlasting love
Stark whispers weighed in consequence’s scales
Hear wild bramble canes of tangled rationalization
Spread underground to push aside
The root scale of love’s pure aria.
Because of the perpetual sigh of everlasting love
Embraced humble penance, intended to soar on crumpled wings,
Reverberates in benediction’s faithful voice of pilgrimage
Plain song no longer stutters – shame refrains from stammering -
As lines blend in chords of serene resolution’s clarity.
6-3-21
Contest: Voice of Conscience
Sponsor: Unseeking Seeker
It seems just like only yesterday
when poetry took a real grip on me
as one that struggles with anxious thoughts
stammering words held me not to being free
But the pen brought me release
then felt a calm, an assured peace
the stammer's still here but I've got hope
poetry means I can see confidence increase
I started with poems about a pen
then one about my stammer and dreams
looking back these were pretty basic
now nearly 2000 covered many themes
Trust my writing has improved
well many poetry friends say so
I've also found a greater love for words
as well as rhyme loving it to flow
As a Christian, I've written all about God
my love for Jesus and the glories of His word
also written about music, movies, and memories
social issues often have got me stirred
I've loved writing about nature
so many beautiful scenes to highlight
holidays are delightful to remember back
as well as emotions and just life so sure
Well not telling you what my last will be
but so grateful for everyone's kindness
spurring me to write all the more
life moves on not knowing what's in store
(This is an appraisal of my poetry from the first one to now being at 1999, not telling what the big magical 2000 will be, just wait and see for it won't be long.)
He desired nothing but a tiny sliver of a hole
Where he could tuck himself up inside
Away from the others
Because he did not understand their need for attention
Their pursuits or their opinions.
He was a shy boy, who was used to apologizing since birth
First to his mother, who chastised him for causing her such pain
and disappointment, as she was a showing off gaudy gadabout sort.
Whereas, he was quiet, reticent, sedate, and shy.
He silently apologized to others who sought him out,
Which was not easy, for he usually was successful
Finding a corner, a hole, or a tree, away from the others.
Because he had no voice except a stammering one
That infuriated and caused embarrassment to his dear mother.