Long Snooty Poems
Long Snooty Poems. Below are the most popular long Snooty by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Snooty poems by poem length and keyword.
We are going to do a flash mob dance Comet told the crew.
I have a choreographer trained reindeer to help, her name is Bonnie Sue.
Vixen and Blitzen were miffed, because it was not their idea at all.
Dasher and Rudolph did not hear, they were watching snow fall.
Bonnie Sue came in and kept all the reindeers on their hooves for sure.
She had a sassy way about her, she was full of holly and manure.
Olive was irritated, because she was not asked to choreograph the dance.
Don’t be persnickety said Donner who thought with B.S. he had a chance.
Their dance steps were merry, they left prints all over the fresh snow.
Santa tried to find them but with all these prints he did not know…
Where his reindeer were or what mischief they were about.
Olive past him on her way out, her nose was in a snooty pout.
Dancer and Prancer said “we hear Santa” and all the dancing stopped.
Pretend we're rioting for better rations, said new elf named McFlopped.
“that won’t work, let me handle this, my friends,” with reindeer cheer.
Cupid lied to Santa’s face, so coal will be in his stocking again this year.
Like a frowsy, dowdy
old housewife
I sit largely
unnoticed
stout and squat
a sort of kitchen sentry
rarely appreciated
until some minor crisis-
Cough, sniffle, stomachache
a particularly bad day
or fancy party...
then things heat up
quickly for me!
This was one of those
fancy party days
no cause to celebrate
for me!
Grueling stove-top swelter
I take it all in stride
despite the pressure
never boiling over
(I still have my pride...)
But when it gets me
really steamed
I drop polite hints
the best I can
in ladylike whispers
until I simply
can take no more-
and my shrill, piercing screams
draw attention, but fast!
It never lasts...
So she perches there
on pointy tippy-toes
in all her perky, snooty primness
silently snarky and subtle
sneakily taking credit
for all my hard work!
And as the luncheon ladies
Oooh and Aaah
“What wonderful tea!”
she points her delicate
snobby little spout
even higher with pride
But, one of these days
she'll regret it-
that snooty sassy-pot...
for I'm a tough
old stainless broad
and I'll chip her china, yet!
...And while I'll be careful
to make it seem
ever-so-casual
(like an accident)
she'll know deep down
it's really her long overdue
and well deserved
comeuppance!
My personal view of MY own poet’s duty
is to write for folk who are not too snooty
Poetry ‘experts’ may look down their nose
at the simple poetry that I compose
When I read a poem I don’t want to wallow
in archaic language that’s hard to swallow
I like lively lines not stuff that’s boring
want to enjoy reading and not start snoring
I don’t often write about sport or politics
But I may write of ‘Ron Dump’s’ latest tricks
I just cannot write a romantic sonnet
as love poems make me want to vomit
I could write about the birds and bees
and pretty flowers and wind in the trees
But many other poets write similar words
so I buck the trend and I write about turds
I guess I’ve developed quite a quirky style
but my overall aim is to make people smile
What’s right for others may not suit me
but we can unite by writing our poetry!
So who am I to say what’s wrong or right
if you get an idea then write, just write!
A Poet’s Duty Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Beth Evans
10/07/20
Could there be anything sweeter,
than our little dog named Fartina,
I wanted to see less of wretched in-laws,
they no longer come over because,
the gaseous funky green cloud,
emitting from Fartina makes me so proud.
I dare say we no longer have mice,
who now stay outdoors, how nice.
When Fartina goes to the vet,
it's a sure bet-
the leery vet techs yell, "Fartina's here!"
and the snooty lady in the waiting room
with the poodle holds her nose, oh dear!
At our family birthday party,
Fartina decided to get frankly, farty.
Our guests were all in a dither,
their faces crinkled, then quivered.
Til, lo and behold, a knock on the door,
pesky political solicitors once more!
Well, lovely Fartina took care of that-
a silent savage air biscuit commenced,
and our unwelcome visitors quickly
vaulted over the fence.
These days bad news travels fast,
but the flatulent antics of Fartina
makes laughter last. ~
He wore a leather bomber jacket and a redskin hat and would engage with people where ever he was at. He wore two hearing aids that often whistled like a kettle and as he aged out in our three homes he did settle. A world war II vet he served in the navy and once out he married and they had three babies. Dad had been a lawyer and eventually became a judge. He was not a snooty person and seldom held a grudge. Dad was always most particular about where he chose to eat, only frequenting four star restaurants with the more elite.
At church his voice would bellow as he sang out every hymn. Most days he'd burst into a song if he felt the whim. Dad had an Irish temper but wasn't easily provoked, in order to get it simmering it had to be stoked.
Even in his older years he was still a flirt and would turn his attention to a pretty face or leggy skirt. Dad had a strong work ethic and worked til age 75 and would probably still be working now if he was alive.
At age 81 as he lay counting sheep, my dad gently slipped away, dying peacefully in his sleep. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THOSE GREAT FATHERS OUT THERE
Bi-polar bear’s crafty and mean
So snooty she acts like a queen
She’s cold and aloof
Of that I have proof
And was last seen on the latrine
Bi-polar bear peed on the ice
Bright yellow ice didn’t look nice
To cover her tracks
She grabbed her ice axe
Her chopping was not quite precise
Bi-polar bear made a huge hole
And into the hole she did roll
A male saboteur
Did not rescue her
He battered her head with a pole!
Bi-polar bear could not be found
It’s thought that Bi- polar bear drowned
I’d love to raise a huge glass
To whoever kicked her ass
Sadly he did not hang around
NOT for Contest
Follow up to a poem written with Lin Lane in May 2017
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/bi_polar_bear_collaboration_with_lin_lane_901528
11-07-17
She is the super girl of poetry soup a cute
who through her limericks renders us mute
How can I resist a giggle when she writes
or helps me to sully my new tights
She is a lovely presence and I wish her well
if anyone here objections it won't jell
We are a site of beauty not one of snooty
so shake out your pom pom, give a hooty
Its Christmas a time for love words of essence
Jan, I'm glad your here and that you got presence
Lets give the girl a cheer today write a limerick
for her that is funny one with kick,
"FANCY SCHMANCY"
One day I met a fancy schmancy girl named Jan
and when it came to the funnies, oh how she ran
like an underwear on fire
yes, she's the girl for hire
if you want poop in your underwear then read
her crunchy lines, she leaves a laughter seed
for all....
xoxoxoxxo
Dec 10, 2018
DONALD TRUMP – RE: DUCKS --
this portion dashed off
(while dry ving an open white hearse slay
so many months back before
slated him slotted the most coveted
Casino biggest win - before the political imbroglio
much more upsetting than today
- - - - - - - - - -
Axe the old don
A trump peter n piper of incredulous hellish crud - be gone
With the ha air brushed pompous ****
so the Macy jackal hound doth run
After public outcry yelps
for his hide and proletarian discord won!
- - - - - - - - - -
Donald Duck Trump ™$ - a pompous ass
makes war with his big brass
knuckles and bucket of crass
maligns vis a vis character assassination with bro kin glass
inciting banal deathly hallowed expletives
toward lass sees – especially
Fox Television news anchorwoman Megyn Kelly
inducing said personality to bear the brunt of brutish mass
of vitriolic n vile insults from incriminating verbal pass
so…ex post facto viz mine NO VOTE from me
thus this digital screed to disallow him
to accept the oath of office, cuz he will hurrahs
from such a snooty arrogant simian with sass!
- - - - - - - - - -
I van a try to describe while sitting on me rump
How he oh bomb in lee rages with gnashing teeth
while back a slump
Blasting Democratic nomination as a sham –
From special interest bro and sis turn pump
He, the epitomy of crass bloviation, a malignant lump
Whose rants sans presidential outcome a sham rocking red bull
in a China shop with his millions beds this,
- - - - - - - - - -
That and another woman to bareback jump
Disseminating gene pool –
Obama null lee birthing more Quakers
and additionally doth hump
The mass media as some foolhardy charade
And caricature of a frazzled grump
This arboreal clothed ape
Erecting Taj Mahal phallic symbol where players dump
And gamble away hard earn cash
- - - - - - - - - -
For his hello kitty, as if that cachet to grind and bump
Lambasting with that maniacal leering pout
while hair rum runs rampant with red bulls
In a China shop atop his bulbous aerosol sprayed heady measly shaped
ulterior motive aimed his sights to become Pastor of Muppets
Dis eased cranial hologram
Of a cretaceous, facetious and insidious mump.
----------------------------------------------------------
By: Baron von Ivan Mal N. Ya.
my husband and I love dogs
he was totally against paying big money for one
I did not care; I wanted a golden retriever
so I paid for one
actually, ended up with an English Crème retriever
an almost white golden
he already had a name – Beau
so we kept it
not realizing he comes to any name
my husband calls him Pedro
pal, buddy, friend, boy,
I call him Baby Beau
Baby Beau is king of this family
usurping Buddy who has never cared to be royalty
Buddy used to live under the jurisdiction of Queen Sophie
a persnickety particular snooty black cocker spaniel
Now he is lead around by Beau, and he likes it.
Let's toot & salute
Folks our bespoke bloke
Having a hoot..
Bearing fruit loot
English cricketing oak
Celestial extra terrestrial Groot
Can't be snooty about tutti fruity
Rooty's booty on lions duty
As an Aussie would quip
You absolute beauty
Humble while records tumble..crumble
Can hear dear old Bumble..no quibble
Told from red rose fold across the Ribble
Saying for me..sold.. Rooty better
Run getter...record setter
Fetter even KP...cricketing gold
In the MCC heaven eleven
Story of forever glory
But never look at me
Only one with a magnificent
Seven on the adored
Boards at Lords
Top of the tree
Despite his fame...just the same
Puts on the gloves
Joy of a boy
Still really clearly dearly
Loves the game
No rebuke..no fluke
For our big grin
Thin White Duke..batting nuke
Believing his pedigree filigree
Web will keep weaving
Nervous laughter
Leaving Indians peeving
Not being cynical.. it's not cyclical...but clinical.
No retrieving the pinnacle.....puns almost biblical
Our glorious grafter...after runs to every rafter
Joe will nurdle...nudge
Scoreboard budge..purring
Dreamy silky creamy
Drives soul stirring
Lamps perverse reverse ramps whirring
By hook or crook
Snook past Cook with
Textbook look & grace
Took fifth place
In the record book race
Will beat all the elite
Breaking Rahul's wall
Shaking Kallis's Palace
Forsaking blunter punter
Ponting..bereft at the
Theft..left..wanting
En song hatching
Catching then snatching
Number one
Dispatching..after so long
Last post gong
Love song of
Dashing don..Sachin