Long Schtick Poems

There was a dear who had a ridge that she perched from
It was where she felt welcome 
Below there was a road 
Where cars must go. 

They would be driving in singles and pairs 
Going...

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Moe
Larry
Curly

Shep 
Joe

This Three-Fifth Stooges moron quartet
are brain-slow slugs you don’t wanna IQ know

Just sitting on a milk crate,
waiting outside of the MGM studio gate
Moe, Larry and Curly passed my way

They were yukking it up,
talking clown...

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"I follow the Moskva
and down to Gorky Park-
listening to the winds of change" - Scorpions

All the heads of state and their spouses (or significant others) have arrived and been seated for this, my last show...

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Coloring smiling faces donned with faux missing teeth,
and waxing poetic lip schtick adorned with moustaches

Swarthy, spooky, scary carved
pumpkin faces thickly materialized 
out of thin air
as Halloween holiday loomed near
yes... just an innocently naive fickle kid,
who...

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Harumph To Holiday Hoopla – Phish Pshaw!

Relieved of fatherhood Saint
Nick schtick found me
to relinquish ratty outfit, and stow away zee bras
like padding and "FAKE flowing beard,
ah...don't remind me,
those well worn faux paws

of each dear deer...

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Nine nine  

A story I needed to find  

My credentials were declined  

But it was Sunday, I did not mind  

Honestly, I tried  

Decided, ‘take a ride’  

Into the...

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A new day perhaps, of immeasurable tin, sound of din
A hurricane noise, a thrall of riotous cuts, although thin
The blood-curdle choke of rage from before
Now purchased like plasma from the needle store
Go hump yourself, If...

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Whar art mine fervent zeal for Marx Brothers?

While figuratively trout fishing
for ideas to write about
analogous (hook, line and sinker)
idea wormed itself into mind with clout
moment of awareness arose
without shadow of doubt.

As a long haired pencil...

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And there the story might have ended 
But the bite on Suzanne's thumb 
Throbbed and became distended, 
'I must say, I feel a little rum', 
she said and lay down on her bed, 
but as...

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This revolutionary fella followed by 
Adams family patriarch,giving rise 
twin heir (plain lee gifted "Renaissance 
Man") Jeff force'n without hemming 

and hawing, subsequently conceding 
nexus (nor horse drawn Lexus) of Colonial 
power to Madison, thence...

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January 17th, 2020, a moost memorable outing at Collegeville Diner

A hardy acknowledgement yessiree
to the blessed sister Amelie worthy
of such beloved, devoted,
feted husband Rich truly
bestowed predicated upon
random chain of events

i.e., accidental, biological,
and genealogical happenstance prithee
applauding, apprising,...

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Late morning today (February 17, 2021)

I (accompanied by missus)
drove to bed bath and beyond
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
off Chemical Road location for naught.

After arriving
at said destination alas and alack
with intent to purchase:
ZeroWater®
10-Cup Ready Pour™ Pitcher - $17.50
and...

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They are on the final stage 
Of being in their Nascar cage 
Soon they will leave the Daytona sun 
And under the lights this car racing contest will be done 

After putting up with the...

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Here today for an interview 
we’re joined by famous Colour Blue.

By the way aren’t you looking fine?! 

Thanks! Must be in my blue-ish line. 

What attributes set you apart 
from others in the colour chart?...

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The Dreams of Library Ladies

Library ladies could it be you sometimes dream
With books (and children) all put in their place
Do you imagine an alternate library scene
A view transformed to more exotic space

The British Museum, perhaps...

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Commander In Chief On His High Horse Haint Budge'n

American democracy go'n
     to hell at light speed
breaking into a bajillion pieces
     tuffet in a handbasket
   ...

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I’m very pleased to introduce to you
something once a toy made completely new.

All you need are two good legs and balance! But it’s not a bike.
It’s as healthy as biking, so cyclists, take a hike!

It’s...

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I have a deep ingrained aspiration--
[Wake each morning in anticipation]

A poem I have written earns first place,
So far, this simply has not been the case.

I follow the rules; I give it my best
Apparently, I just...

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The train to Boston goes clonkity dong, clonkity ding,
and ever the handy hack Gershwin takes up
the rhythm and makes it sing.
Rhapsodic rhapsodies in jazz mode
stomp among the carriage silverware and glasses,
makes them tink, jitter and...

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if there was no poetry
then what would become
of my fledgling thoughts
unbaked as they are
raw

this mish-mash of words
words 
words
words I’ve barely stirred

i have made them presentable
readied them to be penned
they all wait proudly
showing their finest
how versatile...

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When you mind your mind cause' all you find.
Is dried up fruit under the rind.
You can't recall what you should know.
You think maybe it's time to go.

The fog is thick, nothing will stick.
You can't depend...

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Never meet your heroes is the old adage
That’s not an issue for me
I have none you see
I find them such fantastic bores
completely unrelatable
rendering me weary 
with their straight laced schtick
their vapid displays of virtue
I revere...

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Please allow me to introduce,
Without any pardon or excuse,
A man who needs no introduction,
To those he’s given instruction,

A man who has always helped me,
To understand extreme fallacy,
Through guidance and edification,
He spreads his extreme education,

Now he...

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The happiest shoe went on a dancing binge
Sing dance sing dance sing dance kick kick kick!
I had never seen such a shoe with nary a hinge.
What a marvelous sense of humor, what a schtick!

Where did...

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When in my old home,
Land speculators and
real estate companies
knocked on my door
every day
Mostly Israelies or
Russian Jews,
They always had a lot to say

There were various attempts
to bribe me
Some quite inventive,
as you'll see

One of those, an agent
showed...

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