Long Sarcastic Poems
Long Sarcastic Poems. Below are the most popular long Sarcastic by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Sarcastic poems by poem length and keyword.
I don not know how to feel
My broken heart will never heal
It is bruised, broken and shattered
From the awful way you battered
It to pieces blow by blow
I wish you could only know
How you cut me painfully
You dug my heart out so deeply
With a sharp sarcastic tongue
Each new word you told me stung
How could you do this to me
I was being so friendly
Each day helping all I could
My heart trying to be good
All my friendship pouring out
Talking every day about
Any problems or troubles
Always be there on the double
When you called, no hesitation
Bringing so much inspiration
To a life that needed it
Till one day I felt like sh--
You just threw me to the curb
Acting weird and so absurd
Putting up a wall, you blocked
Me out-- I was stunned and shocked
At the way you looked and acted
Saying our friendship was retracted
To no longer come around
You stomped my heart in the ground
What made you do a reverse
I was there through the worst
Times-- pulling you through each one
Now your yelling we are done
I really do not want to go
When you hit me with a blow
Of anger, violence and hate
Your eyes are saying it's too late
Go away-- do not return
Your sad red eyes start to burn
With tears your starting to cry
Slamming the door on me -- WHY ????
What would cause you to end
The loyalness of a true friend
February 7 Praises to God Bible Meditations Based on Leviticus 19-21
Key Verse – Leviticus 19:37 Therefore shall ye observe all my statutes, and all my judgments, and do them: I am the LORD.
PRAISE BE TO GOD WHO ENABLES US
TO OBSERVE HIS STATUTES
Praise be to God for enabling us to
observe His statutes so we can be:
Holy constantly and persistently
Healthy physically and spiritually
Happy wisely and righteously
Harvesting abundantly and continuously
Humbled respectfully and lovingly
Hearty triumphantly and jubilantly
Heavenly serenely and divinely
Leviticus 20:8 Praise be to the Lord Who
sanctifies us against:
Sinful defilement
Selfish profanity
Satanic curse
Sarcastic confusion
Seductive wickedness
Shameful corruption
Slanderous filthiness
Sorrow-causing abomination
Leviticus 21:8 Praise be to the Saviour keeps on
reminding us that we should be holy; therefore, we must:
Depart from transgression’s pleasure
Disregard iniquities’ offers
Drive away from whoredom’s whispers
Despise sins' blasphemies
Draw nigh to Christ’s altar
Dwell in the sanctuary of the Almighty
Devote toward consecration through the Holy Spirit. Amen!
February 7, 2024
Seven Mossad Agents came to Norway a winter day
when a snow drowns the needs of the homeless
asleep in a shop's doorway absorbing the sarcastic smell
of coffee and the aroma of a Napoleon cream cake.
Their mission was to assassinate a man called a terrorist
by them, but freedom fighters by others.
The target had been located, a man of 47 bearded, with
prematurely gray hair, Semitic features, and a nose somewhat bigger than what is the norm in a Nordic land
He works as a waiter at a cafe, and take the bus home
a quarter past ten in the evening, to his bed-sit, about ten minutes ride from the town.
The group needed two taxis to take them to a hotel called, “Larsen's ski lodge” a pleasant little place with
modern IKEA furniture, giving rooms an airy ambiance
the group went to work at once, the leader carrying a
heavy mobile phone, trying to make contact to base, one presumes an embassy, but failed.
One of the women donned a blond wig, walked to the cafe to be sure their target was there
a quarter past ten two men entered the bus, one of them
who spoke a few word in Swedish, asked for two ticket to Husly which was the lat stop before the bur turned around and back to town
when the “terrorist” alighted the bus the two assassins followed.
No point going into details here, but they got their man
and hid his body in a snow drift.
Cooley, they stood by the stop to catch the bus on its return trip, smoking cigarettes of a foreign brand oblivious eyes saw them at the bus stop
The assassins had overlooked one thing, the man had a girlfriend and when he didn't appeared as usual she went out looking for him with the help of neighbors
Her boyfriend was found in the snowdrift
the police quickly knew what they were dealing with
but since they, the local police were not armed, they waited for reinforcement, when in the morning the assassin group came out to go to the railways station
the group were arrested.
Then the bomb dropped, they had murdered the wrong man, another Arab, they quickly insinuated was a terrorist too, what else was he doing in Norway
The court case took a long time, one of the prosecutors
fell in love with the woman with a fake wig, tried to
say she was an innocent bystander, it didn't wash
the case dragged on, in the end, and since the holocaust
was invoked, the guilty only got a few years.
Hello you, how have you been?
It's a long time now since you were a teen.
Thinking yourself too spotty, sarcastic and thin.
Look what has happened since in between.
You ended up with your integrity intact.
A wonderful mother and that's a fact.
A miserable marriage you finally escaped.
Reclaiming your voice, your soul, your space.
You're a granny now and how cool that's been.
Searching each for your favourite genes.
With time to cuddle, cajole and teach.
Inspire and inform instead of preach.
Old age has been kind, no pressure or stress.
Peace to unwind with no need to impress.
Time to reflect on how good life has been.
You are happy, content, secure and serene.
Well done!
03/10/2021
Letter to your future self Poetry Contest
For Silent One.
(Lesley Ann Down was an actress in
the Golden Age of live TV drama.)
We live in an age of midgets.
There are no seers now, only lookers,
no values left, apart from digits.
Cash is the hook, and we’re all hookers,
no Carmen Joneses, only Bridgets.
Did you have to learn the equation
(“have to”? – what an odd suggestion!)
which represents acceleration?
It’s printed now, beside the question.
No gravity, just gravitation.
Subtitle writers, now, can’t spell,
and language teachers know no grammar.
When banks are hiring tellers, well,
in Alabaster, Alabama,
they sing aloud, “You Never Can Tell”.
Let’s get somewhat more sarcastic.
Our carpenters just never get wood.
Today our craftsmen just squirt mastic,
then, as any moron could,
they clip on bits of precut plastic.
We’ve got police (I like this best!)
who, far from being Texas Rangers,
have never passed exams or tests,
and can’t, by law, face any dangers,
or run rash risks, like make arrests.
No Richard Rodgers, Buddy Holly,
no more Stoller (as in Lieber),
but ‘tis the season to be jolly –
after all, there’s Justin Bieber!
Hence, loathéd melancholy!
Bitter Lemon Woman
In sarcastic egos, you’ve cornered the market.
A self-important peasant, a show off bourgeoisie
Without compassion, a bitter lemon woman.
A twisted tongue, a controlling snake
A liar, a betrayer and a tortured soul
A pathetic vein of vanity runs through
Your engineered persona.
You Bitter Lemon Woman
Who’s the fairest of them all, mirror?
You’re as transparent, as Perspex.
A deceiver of happiness, always seeking praise.
Showing us your power through control
A well-planned illusion of self-sacrifice.
From a Bitter Lemon Woman.
All for us, nothing for yourself? As if!
Demonstrate your power by misleading.
Arranging meetings and going alone.
Being asked, but not answering the phone.
Classic control of the inferior hangers on.
You’re a Bitter Lemon Woman.
But you misjudged me, didn’t you? I
Had the measure of you, I knew.
My Bitter Lemon Woman.
When I was out of sight, you lost control.
I found your heel and I did the deal.
A condescending smile after swallowing a bitter pill.
Humbled thanks. Loved to have seen your face,
Sociopathic Bitter Lemon Woman.
So, you can’t fool me and will never rule me.
Viva La France? Absolutely, no chance!
My Bitter Lemon Woman.
David Cox 22/03/24
Always be sarcastic, but not so much that it's rude.
Be very careful to pretend not to notice what others think.
Clothes don't matter, but they do. They really do.
Don't be annoying, just be yourself. But better.
Every teacher has feelings, so don't hurt them (intentionally).
Funny is funny until it's not.
Girls must focus on their appearance, but act like they don't.
Hello isn't something you say. Hey. Hi! How ya doin'?
Inside of the building, you usually have to wear a sweater.
Just remember, it doesn't last forever, only three years.
Knowing everything is good, but don't be a know-it-all.
Long hair isn't always better than short hair.
Mondays are just a day. Always remember that.
No one should have to eat by themselves. Invite them over? Maybe?
Only popular kids are popular. They just are.
Parents are NOT cool. At all. But they are useful with math homework.
Quit drugs before you start. Everyone should do well to remember that.
Recess is for little kids. Lunch (recess with food) is for everyone.
Struggling is normal, but don't admit you struggle.
Take the good electives. Only the good ones.
Unless your friends agree to it, don't add someone to your lunch group.
Very annoying people will forever be labeled as such.
Wednesday is hump day. Get through that, and you're golden.
Xmas is a time for giving. That's what the adults want you to say.
You can always find a loophole in homework. You just have to look for one.
Zero friends is what you'll have if you don't follow every rule.
Among a stone-wreathed, sun-fried declivity
On earth’s raised stomach, a shack. Common
With the nervousness of heat, such shack-up
Points bury their heads in shame forever...
School hours brought me to such beginnings,
Such introductions, transient and loosely
Translated into vulgar languages aired by
A hairless harum scarum – MY LANDLADY!
Her vowels, resonant with crudity, frayed the
Walls, reaching the cruel apex of wanton folly,
Embellished with tattered pollutions of crimson
Air. Her consonants, tongue in cheek, jeered at
Remote efforts applied to disarm a vector with
Borrowed proboscis. Paraphrased sex lined up
Lips that chewed with primed caution, when
Pressed to announce, through optimistic,
Sarcastic leverage:
‘YOUR RENT IS DUE! ’
But the moon always winked at me. All four
Phases richly painted, slowly sketched to crawl,
And not by any fast means, run. The seasons
Nudged me to remind me they were not yet run
Over by the wheels of time.
But she befriended the calendar, stiff with hard
Resolutions to turn over her pages. By a runnel’s
Course, she evoked the late principles of buried
Time, calculating the length of days, the width of
Nights and the circumference of her wilted
Patience. Hourglass was polished clean to reflect
The sun’s glare through holes pierced by decibels
Of eastern hymns, composed before the waking of
Larks, when like an underpaid courtesan, she would
Hammer her now contagious sign-slogan, but
Now robustly rephrased:
‘YOUR RENT IS OVERDUE! ’
Monstrous, talking, evil thing.
Spouting out lies, verily, daily!
And we?
Whatever news it spouts?
Many drool over every word
as truth, like helpless louts.
It should have a truth-o-meter.
Instead it is a spreader of hate.
Not of good, heavens, never!
It's only aim to destroy good peoples'
characters forver!
There is a price to pay for this.
Discord, disharmony is the price.
We suffer when hatred is our
daily fare.
And muck about the earth,
Demanding life must be fair!
And when was that, pray tell?
What century never had some
taste of hell?
We cannot fix things, lest we
stop fighting.
Standing for eternal truths,
Not today's man-created morality
and writhings!
Which never harbor good will
at all...but..demand immediate
and false tithings.
We disrespect our current world
leaders and a horrendous
Unending attacks on police?
All must be stopped!
Angry, sarcastic violence,
Turns us into nothing more than
mean, loudmouth, self-righteus fops.
Demanding immediate recompense,
for things once settled long ago?
Hence, we fall ignorantly under
the Tele's specious and most
feckless glow!
While evil keeps our souls and
brains so precariously, in tow.
July 31, 2019
2pm PST
There's magic
In the air
See how the scenery is changing before our
Eyes. It has a silvery, shimmering, and a
Beach wave flow as if it is coming on to
Shore. If you watch it it's hypnotic.
It's changing the forests fabric.
This is a nightmare.
There's magic.
Sir, are you being sarcastic?
We have to figure out how to stop this or it
Will be every where.
See how the scenery is changing before our
Eyes. It has a silvery, shimmering, and a
Beach wave flow as if it is coming on to
Shore. If you watch it it's hypnotic.
Sir, I have never really knew one way or
Another if magic was just a magicians
Made up magic trick. Now I am no skeptic.
This stuff is far from ordinaire.
There's magic.
Could this go cosmic?
Not that I am aware.
See how the scenery is changing before our
Eyes. It has a silvery, shimmering, and a
Beach wave flow as if it is coming on to
Shore. If you watch it it's hypnotic.
Hopefully we will catch the person behind
This before it goes public.
That is my prayer.
There's magic
See how the scenery is changing before our
Eyes. It has a silvery, shimmering, and a
Beach wave flow as if it is coming on to
Shore. If you watch it it's hypnotic.