Long Saloon Poems

This is the story of mad Molly Shaw
She might be mad now but she wasn’t before
she came home to find her man dead on the floor
She lay down her bible and let out a roar...

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Translation with commentary of an archetypal Wild West Classic : " Summer Wine "

(I'd wage my bottom diamond dime future generations will re-discover and treasure this true American classic like only a few others of...

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The sun was rising high in the east over the town of Milton creek
It was the eighteenth day of December, the start of Christmas week
All the store fronts were decorated; it was a colourful sight...

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This is a tale of one of the orneriest dudes there ever was, and how someone much smaller, but easily more clever than he was, managed to cope with his belligerence.  

  ...

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if you have taken the time to browse through this eclectic collection of self-indulgent foolishness, I hope you’ve been entertained by the quirkiness of its content, or at the very least, annoyed by the pervasiveness...

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*** Notice to the residents of Milton Creek ***

Tom serves as mayor. never complaining, so he gets what he requests 
No blood in his steak, apple pie with sweet cream. Aces cooks that meal
to perfection...

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It was still quite dark in Milton Creek, and it had just gone four
When Tom arrived at the sheriff's office, and knocked on his door
The Sheriff quickly opened up and beckoned Tom, to come inside
They...

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Galloping hooves broke morn's peace in Soup Creek's Main Street
When Jimmy Smith rode in from Bar 20 his face white as a sheet
He stopped at Sheriff Koplins office and banged heavily on the door 
"What's...

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The Sun was acting rather strange
With the Moon and Stars concerned.
As it was not content to share the sky...
And not prepared to wait its turn.
So the sea was simmering and boiling hot
Without the night's return.

But...

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Their human ma and pa were spark out in reclining chairs
But Rum and Raisin watched the TV with enraptured stares
The western had just ended with the credits rolling past
And Raisin said, “That gunslinger was super...

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The Whiskey Bottle Wish

 	One late summer night outside a saloon in the mid-west, an intoxicated Dusty Rogers, stumbles out of the Bar nearly taking one of the revolving doors with him. As he flutters...

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There was a rumour that outlaw Kyle was to be sprung from jail
But Sheriff Koplin got wind of it and he'd make sure they'd fail 
That day Queeny Holly and her gang rode into town,...

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The sun had just risen over town, it was a beautiful morning
And outside Baker's new Bakery, a long queue was forming
The aroma of fresh baking was lingering in the morning air
Words alone cannot describe it;...

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The sun was rising over Milton Creek, heralding the start of a new day
Two new residents were due in town, on the noon train from Santa Fe
William (Bill) and Sara Baker, both renowned as skilled...

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The Grizzly Old Cowboy's Night At The Saloon


That wash-bin washed away tons of trail-dirt
Many a pint of blood too said the old man
He was lean and mean in his cowboy shirt
Weather-beaten face and western sun's...

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[My recent poem ‘The Dimly Lit House’ received a
Comment from Charles Messina that it could be a Tom and 
Jerry episode… what can I say? Something went ‘Ping!’]

       ...

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Jack and Sam
were two inseparable souls
Best friends tend to be like that,
especially if both were born on the same day
They were two good looking kids,
who liked to play rough and tumble
Didn't mind scraping their knees...

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It was about seven in the morn as the sun was starting to rise
Unbeknown to the folks of Milton Creek they were in for a surprise
Outside the saloon wagons were unloading, before noondays heat
Rumour had...

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If you're passing by Soup Creek our peace loving town
Do pay us a visit but wear a big smile not a frown
Our town is open to everybody all colours and creed
But check in your guns...

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You had that future retro look:  two thousand seventeen,
There was a slow and sultry permanence, a little slouchy lean
As you eased out of the taxi before it shot off to the right,
Who could have...

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As morning glowed pale light over the town of Soup Creek,
Jenna woke with a start when she heard a floorboard squeak.
She raised her gun and took aim at a shadow near the door,
"Hold it right...

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Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson
A brand new sheriff came to town
I'm sure he's not the last
We've had fourteen in the past year
They leave here mighty fast

Some can't stand the pressure
Others end up in boot hill
It...

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The whips will crack across the back
of the steers that won’t move on.
Every day comes closer now
for the day they will be gone.
All these ‘beeves’ on the trail,
will be yarded sold and railed,
and the cowboys...

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The Gunslinger 

There once was a honest man, a man of iron and steel
Vengeance filled his heart, a lust for blood so surreal
No one knows what calamity has forged his evil ways
Or of what rages...

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In the town of Milton Creek the sun was starting to rise
And Jenna was planning for Ranger David a lovely surprise
Unbeknown to him preparations were now well underway
To hold a party in his honour on...

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