Long Pipe Poems
Long Pipe Poems. Below are the most popular long Pipe by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Pipe poems by poem length and keyword.
Jim was a lumberjack from Borehamwood
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life was a mess
He now suffers from stress
So he made himself one out of oak wood .
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire
Things got steamy and hot
He gave it all he got
But with the friction his oak thing caught fire .
His poor wife shouted " For crying out loud"
The poor woodcutter no longer stood proud
His once oaken member
Was a glowing ember
A blackened stump he's no longer endowed.
The smoke alarms in the house all went off
Sue and Jim splutterd and started to cough
Fire men broke down the door
Saw Jim's dong on the floor
Couldn't believe Jim had used it to boff.
So every night when they both go to bed
They both read books and watch TV instead
Then he had a great thought
And the next day he bought
A ten inch piece of pipe made out of lead.
In his workshop he worked on it all day
The next night asked Sue "Well what do you say"
She couldnt help laughing
At the size of his thing
She said" You're not coming near me, no way. "
Written on the 9th June 2020
This Poor Man's Pipe Dream
no..no...no...DONT GET CLOSE
cuz, yea...yea...
yea...I suppose
emailing would be
the safest lagniappe bet,
where nill expose
sure would moost
likely NOT infect thee,
though these really
quirky, phony (funny) germs
can be inhaled a
cross transmission wires
thru the nose
or data packets
bounced off satellites as
telecommunications
specialists knows
while (and/or) even if
all precautions taken
even extreme measures
such as cryogenics,
(where an individual
ideally after they die)
doth get froze,
nonetheless this communique
must be heeded,
cuz most effective,
and best assimilated
before one takes a doze
essentially (non fatal)
lottery mania flows
within my entire being
from head to
fungus infected toes
whar this old rattletrap
spews castles in the air
akin to a house of cards career
ring into scattered mess
(resembling 52 pickup),
thus unknown reader
dune hot dare
casinos, gambling halls,
horse racing, et cetera
lest ye contract
an immobilizing, yet fear
lee innocuous diagnosis,
asper in do sing glare
ring bug eyes,
plus affecting a hair
reed styled, and swiftly tailored
demeanor accompanied
with Scrooge (tiny lee)
intimating lurch
ching, and ogling
qua monopolistic greed
expending every last
red cent indeed
finding one
impoverishing themselves
at light speed!
231: two minutes, thirty one seconds divided 2038
From be a perfect 365 days. Curses in evening where the
warmth of summers mind me. The sun centers it's self perfect to make annoy many. They recovery of a spacecraft
found on the Martian surface domants the news. People in New York taste the centery old bottles of rye recovered from a restoration project In the Valley of the sun, a large price of tourquise is recovered with a large diamond attached to it. The album " Soothing Sounds" wins song of the year. Ultra bun jeans are banned in four states. And a woman from Giza says she's pregnant by aa alien from a world light years away from earth. I found a station on mountain radio that plays "new game music" I get my red juice number four and smoke my pipe. My wife walks in and I asks her to dance We decided that day to sell the business and move back down in the valley. IWe decided a room on the cruise ship would get us by until we bought a home. One day we went walking and a fast moving food truck went by I flag the man down, I told him people walk here, slow that contraption down. He smiled and offered me two free homemade soydogs. I ate them and fell in love. Went home and made my own recipe. Eggs, soy flour, dried veggies, liquid smoke, spices , broth and pureed meat. I put red beet juice in em to make it red you know, people love em! Absolutely love em! I made four million in three years, that's how good this stuff is man! Relish and onions will have you grinning for days. My wife told me "honey" flour ain't never tasted so good; I told her causes it mine baby, all cause it's mine" she laugh, thinking it was funny, but I made a lot of money here, now I am selling. Piggy bank sale, it's all yours!
The shaman speaks of plants to see,
other cosmic dimensions energy.
The Zulu’s stamp dance the ground,
working the earth to a drumming sound.
Smokes from many ashes taken in breath,
medicine pipe presenting the living death.
Monks in high altitude poring colored sand,
a new wheel of time mandala grand.
The Sufi in a poetic conclusion rhyme,
reasons to everything - in its perfect time.
The Runes of Nordic legacies,
and its roots of testing integrities.
The Sangoma takes one to the very edge,
and something closer to the truth is wedged.
Distilled elixir from the Alchemist to turn,
working matter and spirit discern.
Wind carries it in its womb,
natures nursing care and thereof bloom.
Akasha's force due cosmic balance act,
shadows of inner reality fact.
The love that manifests as tolerance,
heals wounds of hearts in forgiveness.
Scriptures of kindled souls and its struggles,
when quickening the heart by dominance.
Pondering prayers and golden fine thread lining,
homewards all souls in absolute defining.
(dedicated to my JonKelly)
cruising every backroad
searching for my sanity
nights spent in the pasture
ain't no room for vanity
endless miles of pipe fence
measured out eternity
grandma's old farmhouse
helped me find serenity
ghost riders flying high
parties in the dark
cooper street's faulty valve
pick-ups in the park
one-ton trailer's shredded tread
setting on fire
buried treasures, buried friends
entangled in barbed-wire
forever summer chasing storms
letting people go
keeping promises, making love
never saying no
happy birthday breakfast calls
laughing at the world
rescue rangers saving pups
and love of a silly ass girl
TEMPUS FUGIT
I seemed to be going through a change,
Maybe the male menopause.
Or perhaps a mid-life crisis,
But I had fun whatever the cause.
I purchased a Harley Davidson
To roar about the place
And I rescued my flares from the wardrobe
That I’d held on to, just in case
With a cowboy shirt and a shoe-lace tie,
I reckoned I looked pretty cool.
But my wife said they weren’t back in fashion
And I simply looked an old fool
I dug out my vinyl collection,
Mostly Bill Hayley and Elvis,
And tried to relive the days of my youth
On the dance floor, rotating my pelvis.
But, last week, I fell off the Harley,
Performing a series of dares
And it caused great amusement in A & E
When the nurse had to cut off my flares.
So now it’s out of my system,
I’ve reverted to acting my age.
As I sit with my pipe and slippers,
Dressed head-to-toe in beige
Elvis has gone back in the loft
And I have to say he’s not missed.
For now, for relaxation,
I listen to Mozart and Liszt.
5th February 2022
Latin Lessons poetry contest
Sponsor - Margarita Lillico
I’m a modern Native American
Recalling with pride
Our mighty Indian Nations
Before the attempted Genocide.
The tide of invaders that
Washed across these lands
With conquest in their hearts
And guns in their hands.
They said we were savages
They just didn’t understand
We lived in harmony with nature
Loved and respected our land.
They came to our campfires
Took the Pipe of Peace to smoke
Gave us their worthless treaties
Which they just as casually broke..
They killed us with their weapons
Gave us their strange diseases
Gave our warriors firewater
Behaved just as they pleased,
Then they took the remnants
Of our once proud nations
And herded them to the misery of
The confines of the reservations.
Thinking of the degradation
Of those many wasted years,
Thinking of the shame,
The millions of unshed tears.
Somehow we few survived
Against all the many odds
Perhaps blessed by Manitou
Our life force God of all Gods.
I’m a modern Native American
And we’re regaining our pride
Proud of those once mighty nations
Before the attempted Genocide.
It is time to retire the red skin
Better blood pressure will win
Anger management is done
Now happiness, laughter and fun
If a fight starts
Diplomatic channels will be giving a part
Debating issues known by heart
Kind communication anchored when one listens
That is the mission
Coffees and teas
Using terms thank you and please
Tension will disappear
No need for a ruckus over beer
There is no place to be mad
Handle bitterness and being bad
In a new way
Success will pay
As Washingtonians bellow on their stage
During a mature age
Earning the proper executive wage
Letting feelings out trapped in a cage
Hope wisdom will be prescribed
Medicare paying the medicine ball high
While talking over a peace pipe
Exchanging thought full academic knowledge acting polite
Honesty will be granted a shout
When they tell those sitting around with pull to get out
Teeter totter poem
Standing on a razor sharp edge,
Just like balance that has a wedge,
Swaying on either of two sides,
Positive and negative, life is a teeter totter ride!
It's sometimes love, other times sorrow,
Some humble words, some harsh ego,
Immense pleasure , at times great horror,
Peace in world, more of hostility and terror !
Whenever tried to live a balanced life,
Always encountered some new strife,
And on a tottering platform as I lied,
Testing times for me, no one to guide!
Good enchants and bad depresses,
Confidence blesses and loss suppresses,
Every aspect essential for a complete life,
Melody of music comes of the teeter totter pipe!
Written on 30/7/14
Contest- teeter totter poem
Sponsor- Sheri
3rd place win
"Resurrection of a sinner! "
I was lost in the streets, gave in to a life of lawlessness. Governed by cigarettes and booze.
Chasing after dirty skirts and lethal injections so lethargic they caused a time skip that made me miss out on the important stuff like mama's birthday, no hooray!
Woke up in a mortuary with no obituary late in January this got me worried.
The voices in my celeberum amplified to a point of sezing, sneezing and reaping the bad seeds l sowed.
I owed it to thy self to stand up, dust myself up and find myself.
Liquefied my demons and flushed them down the river Jordan for salvation.
Took papa's advice and turned my books and hooks into tools of success.
The Bible became my best friend, traded my pipe for a hymn of Psalms in order to see the light and never allow darkness to blind me again.
Meditating each and every time the serpent tries to tempt me, forever thankful to the Alpha and Omega through Jesus Christ for untying the rope that threatened to obliterate me.
Now l see my face on billboards, magazines, newspapers and all forms of media people crave to digest, my life now an inspiration for all.
Christ lionized my talents for flying ads so all can hear about his glory and power...
Amen!