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JIM THE LUMBERJACK

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Jim was a lumberjack from Borehamwood A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood His Love life was a mess He now suffers from stress So he made himself one out of oak wood . He went to bed one night full of desire Sue his wife put on her sexy attire Things got steamy and hot He gave it all he got But with the friction his oak thing caught fire . His poor wife shouted " for crying out loud" The poor woodcutter no longer stood proud His once oaken member Was a glowing ember A blackened stump he's no longer endowed. The smoke alarms in the house all went off Sue and Jim splutterd and started to cough Fire men broke down the door Saw Jim's dong on the floor Couldn't believe Jim had used it to boff. So every night when they both go to bed They both read books and watch TV instead Then he had a great thought And the next day he bought A ten inch piece of pipe made out of lead. In his workshop he worked on it all day The next night asked Sue "well what do you say" She couldnt help laughing At the size of his thing She said" you're not coming near me, no way " Written 9th June 2020

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 10/11/2021 6:23:00 AM
WOW! What a story! A huge CONGRATS, Tom! Janice
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 10/11/2021 6:38:00 AM
Thank you very much Janice, glad you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're well, I've been under the weather, slowly bouncing back. Tom
Date: 10/10/2021 1:06:00 AM
Congrats on your win!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 10/10/2021 1:56:00 AM
Thank you very much for your congrats Karen. Tom
Date: 9/17/2020 2:31:00 PM
Brilliant, this made me laugh so much I had tears lol, such a fun read and its going straight to favs. Emilia : )
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 9/17/2020 9:34:00 PM
Thank you very much Amilia, I love humour as you might have guessed, this was for a contest but only two stanzas. After I added a few more and came up with the continuing story of Jim. Thanks too for the fave. Enjoy your weekend. Tom
Date: 8/17/2020 6:44:00 PM
Tom his efforts turned into a pipe Dream. Lol. Great write smiling...
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/18/2020 12:55:00 AM
Thank you Michael, two stanzas were for a contest and I just added to it. Glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 6/17/2020 7:13:00 AM
Congratulations Tom on POTD...You're a fabulous storyteller...
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/17/2020 7:41:00 AM
Thank you very much Arturo, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 6/15/2020 12:43:00 AM
Hey, back with congrats on POTD, Tom. You may speak softly, but you sure carry a big stick! LOL. Cheers, Gershon
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/15/2020 7:33:00 AM
Haha Thank you Gershon, I'm happy you enjoyed it. You might remember the first two stanzas from last year. Tom
Date: 6/13/2020 11:09:00 AM
HaHaHa well he got his answer cloud and clear on the piece of pipe he masterfully crafted, not for me said his wife! Blessings, Jennifer.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/13/2020 11:16:00 AM
Thanks Jennifer, the first two I wrote last year, I just added to it. Enjoy your weekend Tom
Date: 6/12/2020 1:17:00 PM
Oh, this is so well done and very funny, Tom. Enjoyed every verse! Way to go, my friend. Thanks for the laughs. Well deserving of a POTD. Congratulations! Hugs, Carolyn
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/12/2020 1:37:00 PM
Thank you Carolyn, I'm glad it gave you a laugh Tom
Date: 6/12/2020 7:32:00 AM
Wow, Tom! This is hilarious and so creative...still laughing!. Congrats on POTD! Blessings, Rhonda xx
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/12/2020 7:36:00 AM
Thank you Rhonda, happy you enjoyed the bawdy humour. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 11:23:00 PM
This cracked me up Tom! Thank you for the laughs. Congratulations on your deserving POTD! Blessings xxoo
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/12/2020 2:00:00 AM
Thank you Connie, I'm pleased you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 11:22:00 PM
And this, sir, is why limericks were invented. A rollicking fun write, Tom. Congratulations on your much deserved POTD, and thanks for the belly laugh. Poor Jim must feel like a real ding-a-ling. ~ John
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/12/2020 2:00:00 AM
Thank you John, a little bit on the bawdy side, I'm happy you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 9:33:00 PM
Tom, thanks for the laugh. Wonderful limerick. Congratulations on POTD. Best Wishes~ Warren
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/12/2020 1:27:00 AM
Thanks Warren, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 6:16:00 PM
Ummm, all I can say is- "I can't stop laughing at the size of his.. :) Thing" Oh my!! This is sooo cute and clever, very creative. Thanks for the smile Tom. Congratulations on Poem of the Day. :) Brandy
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/12/2020 1:26:00 AM
Thank you Brandy, I'm happy you got a laugh out of it. Hope you're well Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 4:09:00 PM
Back to congratulate you on POTD and it made me chuckle again!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 4:14:00 PM
Thanks Tania, I'm happy you enjoyed it a second time. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 3:46:00 PM
Tom, you have outdone yourself with this Limerick, I am still laughing. Congrats on POTD. John
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 4:04:00 PM
Thank you John, I'm happy you got a laugh out of it. Hope you're well Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 12:19:00 PM
Back with congrats Tom! The soup too found ths much needed comic relief. Giggles for all! Have a fabulous day. :))) xomo
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 12:29:00 PM
Thanks very much Maureen, humour helps the world to smile. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 12:17:00 PM
What a fun poem. Congratulations on POTD! Chantelle hugs xx
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 12:28:00 PM
Thanks Chantelle, glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 9:07:00 AM
Thanks for the laughs Tom... this was a hoot to read, congratulations on your POTD! hugs
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 10:25:00 AM
Thanks very much Sandra, Im glad it gave you a laugh. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 8:34:00 AM
I didn't see this one coming, no way! lol with your funny POTD congrats!!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 10:30:00 AM
Thanks very much Jeanne, I'm glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 8:33:00 AM
Tom my friend, you are the (((KING))) of limericks and Jan is the Queen...Poor Jim, always in a pickle...Congrats!! on POTD!! my friend...^WW^ :o)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 10:34:00 AM
Thank you W. W., I wasn't expecting this one, I must have tickled admins funnybone lol. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 8:27:00 AM
I think I peed myself. Awesome rhymes my dear friend. I needed the laugh and smiles today. Thank you so much for sharing your sparkling personality and your amazing sense of humor. You really go out of your way for the rest of us here. I truly appreciate you Tom, this world is a better place for having you here. Congratulations on POTD!! You earn it every day.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 10:32:00 AM
Thank you very much Mark for your kind words, much appreciated. Hope all is well. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 8:17:00 AM
Thomas my friend, you surely outdid yourself with this one!!! You write "classic limericks" as opposed to yours truly that drifts away constantly! Always hated rules! Well done Sir Thomas... three cheers!!!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 10:24:00 AM
Thanks very much Jack, I'm happy that you liked my humour. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 7:55:00 AM
A well entertaining one Tom...You've got that gift to tell a story...Congratulations on POTD...
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 7:58:00 AM
Thank you Arturo, glad you enjoyed the humour Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 7:49:00 AM
Back with congrats on POTD :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 7:57:00 AM
Thank you for your return visit P. S. Tom
Date: 6/11/2020 6:13:00 AM
Back with congrats on poem of the day, Tom. Glad to see you in this space.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/11/2020 7:27:00 AM
Thanks very much Vijay. A nice surprise this morning. Tom
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