Long Pessimistic Poems
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Unaffordable, yet valiant speeding,
tailgating, and zooming Pep Boys, I cannot dodge.
Yours truly grief stricken
(sob... sob... sob)...
wheely hard to bear
this anticipatory anxiety
riddled joker impossible
mission thwarting despair
death knell tolled (told),
woebegone news, I did fear
hears stunned me into silence,
the unwelcome prognosis,
I needed to hear
no joke, but good humor
totally wrecked vehicle forces
yours truly to become...,
no not a lion tamer
but, yes a panhandling junketeer
begging, copping, dilly dallying... ha
to accept unpleasant
unexpected dire straits
gravely digging within lithosphere
bidding... fare thee well
treasured automobile faithful and near
synonymous with ideal paramour, yet now
must confront stark reality,
lack ample disposable income available
no financial resources to persevere,
and worse case scenario me
and the missus will need to don
faux Santa Claus outfit,
and roundup available reindeer
for ourselves (yea... yea... yea...,
I realize how spare
and tired, pessimistic,
forlorn success such short notice
unless if... nah no fat or slim chance...
apocalypse ushers abominable thermonuclear
war, (I doubt Trump would
pull publicity stunt
to be re elected - ha) whereby
Beatle browed, foo fighting
foreigners, survivors impressed, feted,
compensated... for service
unless they willingly volunteer.
Combination future pluperfect
birthday presents and Noel hi
Christmas gifts well nigh,
noah ark cake "FAKE" attempt,
to hoodwink, engine ear,
trunk hate, et cetera
drum, harp, trumpet... belie
including objective to shanghai,
nor fall out of good amazing graces
toward (me) garden variety generic guy
providing steadfast generous
figurative air supply to fortify,
revving me shaky talent,
ye may oft times decry
as unintelligible gobbledygook
brainstorming ideas to try
single handedly ambidextrously
poetically kindle indeed codify
to elucidate how transportation
car reared and gone awry
moderate expenses as original parts wear out,
(i.e. battery, fender, brakes,
hood latch, shock absorber, tires...
albeit almost all simultaneously), hence I sigh
aware expounding circumstance that doth defy
immediate resolution incumbent to pacify
troubleshoot immediate impasse
squarely render quintessence
problem solving the overriding
challenge, I vilify.
But the lover he knew this would not be enough
In such games as romance the going will get rough
And his youth had not abandoned him yet
Such failures monumental he would not so soon forget
And all had been less than this goddess on earth
No other had touched his heart so since birth
So amidst the glorious dreams of love in spring
The icy chill of doubt began to take its wing
The mirror told truths he’d never liked to hear
When faced with himself he’d rather disappear
Than bear witness to what he saw as a goon
A common ugly brute, spawned from a cartoon
With his disproportioned limbs and pessimistic hunch
Never had Ryan stood out from the bunch
His muscles had weakened from ailments past
And his metabolism sadly had deserted him too fast
His green eyes burned fiercely for his love had not gone
And sleep seldom reached him until long after dawn
Ruminating at length on the woman he desired
Wrecked his body and wracked his mind so tired
Could she ever love one as common as I?
He asked many times neath the midnight blue sky
His answer proved negative on most mornings young
And the tears had scarcely left him when the first sparrow sung
At last, the abused and depressed young pup
Decided he would go out on the town and drink up
Pounding beers with no regard for the consequences thus
Leaving him to stagger, cry, and flirt and cuss
And as sudden as the sun blooming on the skyline
The lovely Lyla was there, alone and looking quite fine
In an instant all sorrow was cleansed from his mind
And convinced him once more no greater love would he find
On that evening with conscious sobered by passion
My old friend took to speaking in a serious fashion
Only I was there to listen to his marvelous speech
Of the intensity he possessed, I know I cannot teach
With a storm gently rolling on a westward winter wind
The dark haired young man, chilled and quite pale skinned
Turned to me slowly with the look in his eye
That told I would recall this moment till I die
“Tonight,” he began, “I have chosen to wait
For this woman I love until some later date
And I shall stay to this, if months or years may pass
If that is the price of being worthy of the lass
If I must stand by and watch others lay
By her drunken side, while I have no say
And hundreds will flirt and many win a kiss
So I will remain in a life without bliss
The cloud rained heavily on the boy, it stayed a while.
He tried to find somebody to help, but did not know the number to dial.
He stopped playing his beloved guitar,
Each dark cloud that passed him left a massive scar.
With the black cloud obstructing his view of outer space,
He was no longer able to rest in the puffy white clouds with his leg brace.
One night, a terrible feeling all over his body left him tossing and turning
A chill rolled up and down his spine, he woke up to his phone ringing and he started vomiting.
Kneeling over the toilet bowl, half asleep and fully confused,
He just knew something terrible had happened, this black cloud left this boy bruised.
The boy answered the call.
One of his good friend’s was found dead in the middle of the night they said.
His body fell against the bathroom wall and started to bawl,
He felt this coming with every toss and every turn that night.
The boy had the worst kind of blues so the boy and the girl went for a cruise
They did not know they were headed towards terrible news.
Stopped to get gas along the way
The boy started pondering if happiness is something he will ever find.
He thought his eyes must be playing a game with his mind,
He never thought he would witness a friend of his intoxicated to the point they were blind.
The boys’ friend drove head on into his most prized possession, his truck.
His optimism had already grown distant; his coat is no longer weather resistant.
The black cloud flooded his head with darkness; the boy knew it was no longer worth fighting.
The boy who was already weak from the clouds wrath,
Lost all of what was left of his hope; his mind was aiming to the most negative number in
terms of math.
The cloud rained heavily on the boy, it stayed a while.
He tried to find somebody to help, but did not know the number to dial.
The girl stayed optimistic, to this day she remained realistic.
Tries everyday to rid these clouds and help him from growing more pessimistic.
Tries hard to help him face the day and look beyond,
She is afraid of losing this boy and their extraordinary bond.
Using her knowledge and strength, she constantly tries to erase his negative mentality,
And fill that space with pieces of hopeful and positive reality.
But the cloud weighs more than he can take.
He believes the rest of his life is at stake.
[21/09/2015 9:18:41 PM] P.c: while i stand on this stage
talking to you and the rest of the race
you see the cloths you wear
the places you live
the friends you have
the parents who love you all
while we talk about the Syrian refugees
things get interesting
not positively but more pessimistic
seeing their houses being blown to ash
friends lost cause of cross fire
parents some there and some gone
with the shoes you even where now
some children go barefoot
some dont realize how bad this maybe
19.5 millin refugees says the most of this
i dont know what is worse
knowing this statistic
or knowing that half are children
we all see how privaleged we may be
but would you like to pay back to society
help the others in need
seeing to those who bleed
not always physically but emotionally
with tears of sadness
experience the lose of many
running from home
losing all types of cloths
not even seeing you house as home any more
cause the windows are blown out
the door on the floor
with bullet holes scattering the wall
u wonder what was home like before the war went on
now all you can recall is the herds of refugees
running across lands dangerous or safe
climbing the border to be clear
as i personally know
i got a friend in the country next door
he talks as he sees
them fleeing in and crowding the streets
there is 3/4 percent of the populations Syrian rather than Lebanese
the country is in chaos
while others around the world barely notice
we got to try
help them some how some way
imagine walking miles
with no shoes
a father or mother
or not even both
escaping the country you called home
because the war raging around has destroyed everything you got
you are only a child
younger than the double digits
surviving the storm and one of the worst wars on this earth
now once they get to their new "home"
do you think they are treated fairly
my god please, look around
they are blocked at the borders and tear gassed cause they are so many
they are rejected from all
the put tents up and sit tight
die from the cold in winter times
a new article said
" young boy at the age of 7 dies from the cold even though being held in his mothers arms"
this just makes me sick deep down inside
realizing refugees aren't treated right
even though they are exiled from home
we got to make a change"
I
Don't
Need
Proof
Of
Your
Growth
Hope and Love
Brittery
Flowers
Sprout
In
The
Hour
Of
Hope
&
Luv
Airplanes
Do
Land
Young
And
Beautiful
You
Are,
Much
Like
Me
In
Times
Of
Tribulation
And
Jubilation
Bring
Me
Down
Under
Eyes
Release
Waterfalls
Of wonderfulness
I
Am
Torn
Apart
By
Sorrow
That
I
Will
Feel
This
Yesterday's
Tomorrow
...
..
.
..
...
Do
You
Hear
Me
Cry
?
Don't
Ask
Why
?
??
???
??
?
Do
You
Hear
My
Plea-
Inspired
Prayer
?
Slayer
To
Sin...
Leave
My
Presence
From
Deeeeep
Within
...
..
.
..
...
Hand
Me
A
Key
To
UnLoCk
The
Truth
&
Peace
Plz...
That
Peace
That
Re-re-
Re-re-
Renews
My
Tragedy
In
Reverse...
Getting
A
Grip
On
The
Rope
Hope
On
Its
Last
Strand...
Until
It
Snaps
!
!!
!!!
!!
!
Ripped
Off
At
The
Mall...
Banging
My
Fist
Upon
The
Abstract
Art
Wall
X
XO
XOX
XOXO
XOX
XO
X
Mad
As
A
Hornet,
For
I
Love
You
&
I
Hate
You...
I
Like
You,
Yet
I
Despise
You...
Dislike
The Things you do and what you put me through...you make me hesitate and I'm the hue of blue
I
Am
Sewn
By
God's
Spirit and Aura
Do you forgive me?
Oh Lord of accord...
I no longer envy
everyone's optimistic and pessimistic chord
^_^
I
Am
Hoarding
These
Feelings
Of
Falling
For
You
:>)
XD
Did
You
Actually
Answer
My
Prayer
Of
Help-
Me-
Plz?
C;
Hand me a compass to lead me to a peaceful path...do me a favor and give me a helping hand that scrubs me with the bubbly liquids of hope and love and be my crow dove tonight because it's black and white that I love you with all my mesmerizing might - it's my write to right to you...it's my way of getting my way with you too...but I'll dig up brains for myself, though I'm sick with the luv flu that is a below shelf
I
Can't
Hold
On
To
Someone
So
Good
Enough...
That
Izzzzzzz
Full
Of
Luv
From
Abuv
I
Can't
Get
Enough
Uv
Eyez
On
Fire
Of
Desire,
But
Put
In
The
Front
Fire...
Lift
Me
Higher,
My
Graceful
Glow
Keep
Growing,
My
Brittery
Flower
Just
One
More
Hour...
Wings
Do
Fly
As
Long
As
You
Show
Off
Our
Love-Hate
Oath...
Out
Of
The
Cave...
Of
Timid
Brave
“What are you afraid of?”
…
This question is often brought upon me; I feign nonchalance and am perceived as someone who maintains intrepid behavior. However, that is simply untrue. Brazenly, I am quite a “wimp.” While my fears cannot be held to a simple definition, I present this ultimatum:
My greatest sentiment is entangled within love, yet love is what terrorizes my fragile being the most. My friends and family give me the very affection I need to survive, yet the thought of it being taken away haunts me. I fear that one day, everyone I love will lose the mutuality we share; that one day, my raw emotion will be what drives their repulsed selves away. When their disgust consumes them, they eventually abandon me; we will part, not on good terms but out of the profound repugnance they hold for me.
…
My foundation is built upon the lessons I’ve been taught by others, as I perpetually mature through them. Losing someone who has nurtured my ethics throughout my life would be losing a part of myself; without them, I would be an undone puzzle, longing for my unfulfilled life to be completed. Maybe then, I would finally feel whole.
…
The individuals who I’ve grown with have treated me with respect, and have provided me with a sense of belonging. If they were to hurt me, or damage my sensitive soul, I would continually exist while unrepaired. The thought of someone who I trust hurting me courses fright through my spirit. It would not only break the sense of faith I have in them, but I would find it hard to believe anyone in general.
…
To heal is to move on; but I possess memories, memories too unbearable to simply be forgotten. I fear that I will be unable to forgive and forget what has been brought upon me. Just like everyone else, I have struggled greatly, and I find it hard to neglect the pessimistic emotions tearing at me. But what if I never heal? You cannot forget if you haven’t been burdened with memory, yet not everyone forgets. So what if I don’t?
…
Abandonment, loss, damage, the inability to heal; aren’t these all a part of life? Though I don’t want to die, I feel as if I fear existing; life itself overwhelms me, when it shouldn’t, and though what I go through is normal, the anxiety overtakes the feeling of living. Maybe life itself scares me; maybe I’m just.. weak.
Mideast Peace: Oxymoron
Though descendent of Jews,
I feel boggled at the brutal,
nasty and wanton war between
Israelis and Palestinians.
Many innocent victims
bred to know and hate their enemy
impossible mission
to reconcile one Semitic
group of peoples from another.
The bloody English
begat and fomented
debacle between Israelis and Palestinians.
little more than a century ago,
particularly usurping territory
courtesy aggressive premise
might makes right.
The human species
hell bent on making war
reprisals rank as a ,
and can never even the score
I harken back to childhood,
when our family lived
at Lantern Lane, and the Dailey's
(who threw rocks at Georgie
our Dalmation/Boxer)
rightfully earned before their time
the title fear thy neighbor
an altercation such
as aforementioned above,
would easily earn a spot
on Investigation Discovery
though deadly crimes violently hardcore
reenacted minus the explicit killing
fields not healthy for children
and other living things,
nevertheless even the most pious
and peace loving
exhibit fervent bloody ardour
if kith and kin held at gunpoint.
The annals of civilization
since time immemorial
replete with chronicles
of battlefield bravura
touting (with laurels of profuse praise)
for ultimate sacrifice
unnaturally, unstintingly, and unwaveringly
bravely giving oneself
to father/mother land.
Beneath the surface of the skin
we all bleed;
mortal kombat inked
in Mesolithic Europe
likewise dates to circa 10,000 years ago,
and episodes of warfare appear
to remain "localized
and temporarily restricted"
during the Late Mesolithic
to Early Neolithic period in Europe.
Idyllic as the fantastical utopian yen,
I feel pessimistic patriarchal wheelman
who steer autocratic
leviathan of state (witness Tiananmen
Square student-led demonstrations
known in Beijing, China
as the June Fourth Incident
lasting from 15 April to 4 June 1989)
cuz twentieth century ruthless demagogues
wanted to squelch
pro-democracy movement,
and not only stole demonstrators thunder
but forcefully co-opted with lightning force
their toys such as:
sophisticated erector set and playpen
for dolls loving buoys Barbie and ken
the former coming to life
as a miniature equestrienne
experiencing magical realism.
The facial expression I wear; it gives nothing away
says nothing to no one except the mirror only to scream 'HELP ME'
There's no doubt that I've been this way before
I only thought I closed the door
not pessimistic, just melancholy yet so optimistic
Things are complicated, so complicated
could it be that I am clueless
it's part of the million haunting reasons
but the world decided to give me its weighted issues
and let my shoulders do the rest
though it leaves my only two greatest friends and family in peril
yet when push comes to shove intangible I return
ready for a fight
and in my mind, I always ponder the same old entry
Will the world ever accept me for the real me
I feel as if it may once I erase my clueless title
then on the other hand, maybe I deserve it
I've constantly placed irresponsibly the ones I care for in danger
I'm the never ending punchline of a school housed joke
I'm at the bottom of the food chain
And the only one who deems me as somebody important
has a reserved spot in the ejecter chair
for my reckless rejection infatuation with someone
who loves the part of me I try to keep secret
I've always wanted to be someone other than this
I've always wanted something more than this
even though I've complained before, it was all fake
I have no complaints
just a few mistakes that I wish I could erase
How could I be the hero when I'm just the zero
how many times does my story have to repeat and fall back on me
I've tried playing hero before, just being my real self
but denying the part of me that makes me who I am
all my seasons before I leave sealed wit a miss
The last one ripping me apart
just leaving me a single kiss on the cheek
I was the blue rose she wanted
until I turn intangible and the rose withered away
but it gave way to my real feelings
don't remember when I noticed
could've been the day her eyes captivated me
at our first high school dance
my final season has ended, sealed with a memorable kiss
the whole world knows my identities
my name in both senses
I just changed my last name so someone
would notice something different
nobody has except for one
I love every minute I've spent with her
and under her clouds of black, I know I'm her warmth
I could say I don't love her but I'd be lying to everyone including myself
What's up with all y'all?
I'm awkward and tall
Catch me before I fall
I'm dancing in the Hall of Fame
Shame just came...just came...
Tame me up in God's name
Liar and cheaters aren't tolerated here
Lick me with your fire and hold me dear
Have no fear; darling, have no fear
Steer the boat away from trouble...
Danger will double...double...
Don't burst my bubble...bubble...
Bubbled up by bubbles...
I'm not dumb - I'm a young teenager right in front of your face
I'm super deeduper smart and fantabulous in vast grace
The future has got me many places...I remember the traces
In a coma
Add on my stress like a comma...
I pause, then I go
You know, I'm living just foshow
Leave me alone, negativity
I invite you in, positivity
I need You to make me optimistic
I don't wanna be so pessimistic
Sarcasm was rolling off my tongue
You're my other lung
Lunge into me, breath of the Holy Spirit
I have a boyfriend, so quit your ****
You can eat me up bit by bit...
Because I don't throw those 5-year-old fits
Too many times have I covered up for you
You belong with me, darling, it's true
I'm a wild child for a reason
I am as magical as the winter season
Like, seriously, brah, you good in the hood
Because shame on me - I'm misunderstood
My confident stride
Is due to my bipolar ride
My confidence shines
Paying your fines
Punks and dorks are filling this room with doom
Let me bloom like a butterfly flower...consume
Happiness...resume on with your joy and peace - get a room!
I am growing like a mushroom...
I hear the explosion of excellence - boom!
The writer, the fighter...
Has came back 7-fold
I'm a sensitive guy, so don't go higher...
We are on the same level, my darling devil
I am oh so bold...
Maybe a little too much for my own good
I'm in the arms of a billion angels
In all angles...stripped down by devils
I blush, for you are the one for me
I crushed on you, my blessed baby
Let's live on and die a mighty winner
For, you are a winner, reader
Confidence shines...let's follow the Leader
My second chance in life came after my first.
I failed miserably, feeling defeated and cursed.
The start of my second go-around came unexpectedly.
It happened out of the blue, unpredicted and randomly.
It all started on the day life knocked on my door.
I answered it hesitantly, nervous and unsure.
She told me she had a deal I could not deny.
A verifiable second chance she would provide.
I reminded life that nothing she gives is free.
Even second chances can be expensive and costly.
I was curious, I asked her what the price would be.
She gave me a smile and continued to speak.
She said, "The price you must pay is your current train of thought."
"You want this second chance? Then you must hand it over at all costs."
"What is wrong with the way I think? I said lacking respect.
"My thoughts are what make me unique, my individuality I will protect."
"I'm not telling you to sell your soul, or lose your essence", she said.
"Give up your negative thoughts for positive views instead."
"If you do this your second chance will be granted and you will succeed.
If you don't then you will miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity."
"It takes practice, you will have to change your point of view.
I will be back in a week to see if you came through."
She was right, it did not come easy. I had to completely rearrange my brain.
Trying to turn a negative into a positive can seem like a losing game.
Practice make perfect, is what the wise people say.
I tried my hardest to change my pessimistic ways.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself, loathing in self-pity.
I halted on wasted emotions such as anger and jealousy.
Optimism is addicting, more than any habit I've ever known.
Once you start to feel it, it attaches itself and never let's go.
When life came back to see how I progressed,
she told me that she was exceedingly impressed.
She said the price was paid three times fold.
I got the contract for my second chance, as I was told.
I was able to start anew, not being a victim to my circumstances!
Here's to life! To never looking back! And getting second chances!