Long Off with his head Poems
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You have an Alice band, keeps your hair in place,
Dum and Dee said you're so modern, have an interface,
long time since Terry"s tea party, we were timeless,
the Mad Hatter said: 'Poof!' Couldn't care less.
The Doormouse nudged himself awake, for Godssake.
'Can't you let me sleep, I'll decide when I wake,'
The Queen had decided on independence for Barcelona,
'Can not be, ' they wailed, "Shut up, ' she said, 'You're another bloody moaner.'
The tortoise taught us how to make love, mimicked
the Queen, clapped his hands and said: 'Off with his head,'
Tarts were ready but black as the ace of spades,
brought uncerrmoniously by a train of waiting maids.
The King chastised everyone including the seven of clubs,
decided the whole lot were boring, went on a tour of Wonderland pubs.
Footnote: The Queen admonished the knave
and said: 'You"re not alright Jack.'
Blessed is he who is not offended
As the final sentence is carried out
Off with his head, hope is dead
The throng is left...tethered to doubt
The Savior is buried ' in still stone
The children, duped, alone
Was there ever a "god" on the throne
Images build as shadows dart
Darkness thickens like tar
It matters, no longer, about good
We must adjust to the way things are
...
In the void, connections become weighed
With the do that was done
The who that supposedly won
As the City of Lights, barred and gated
...against what
Family that won't come
Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-26-2022
Herodias with a grudge requested
to Herod that John be arrested
“To bed your brother's wife
to enhance your sex life
is against the law,” he'd suggested.
When Herod had drunk a bottle of wine
Salome's dancing did seem so fine
that in his delight
he promised that night
to lavish a desire to which she inclined.
So she asked Herodias her mother
if there was anything that had struck her
as a suitable gift
from one who was pissed:
“Ask for John Baptist's head on a platter.”
Out of regard for his guests and his oath
Herod felt obliged although he was loath.
So a guard went ahead
to cut off John's head
to satisfy daughter and mother both
Mark 6.14-29
4/30/17
Underneath what they consider lunar
Don't care if your name is super
So much for your future
And all of the rumors
There is nowhere you can go to outmaneuver
When I turn into Krueger
Take you out before the sound of the rooster
Whether or not on the computer
Or a scooter
Oh well that just makes one fewer
I don't care if you can't appreciate my humor
I come from the sewer
Not much of a snoozer
But a heavy duty boozer
Warning
Night and morning
The rage accumulating and forming
Before, during and after storming
In and out of areas with bugs that continue swarming
Feeling like Rick and not so much Morty
The temperature below, above or at the forties
In and out of different territories
Near and far from quarries
Coming in like Vorhees
It doesn't matter if you heard all the stories
Because nothing can prepare you for me
Considering that we all fall in different categories
And carry our own inventories
Mine can make it gory
Yours are empty normally
For you it just may end up horribly
Drawn out or ending shortly
I don't care about the glory
Or so called purgatory
A simple and friendly reminder
Don't have on your blinders
Think wiser
At elevations lower and higher
On foot or tires
Looking like Myers
In and out of areas devastated by fires
Above and below telephone wires
With a pair of pliers
Ready to eliminate any liars
Leaving behind no traces or fibers
Tried to go after me, but instead
He was caught, and pissed the bed
As it was off with his head
When I was Pinhead
Could be worse or better
More or lesser
Something that would do you some good to remember
Before I lose control of my temper
And become Lecter
Against whomever
Thinks their clever
Whenever
During any weather
The surrounding suddenly became redder
Not concerned about opinions
A one man army on a mission
They wanted to give me a million
Endless medical prescriptions
And to persuade me with religion
But I wouldn't give in or listen
Because I am a villain
By: Dalton Ogletree
Morning In The Hair Salon
She would chat and then nod as she washed
And laugh as she dried and then curled
But behind all the smiles that were wide, fixed and false
She felt challenged and alone in the world.
She felt angry and always so tired
With debts adding up to her worry
She would rather stay home and dream every day
Than be out every hour earning money.
Noon
She looked at herself in the mirror
And then sighed at the things she had seen:
Her life going backwards from where she once was
When her path was marked out to be queen.
She reflected back onto her childhood
And the reasons for her mistrust of men
The real world took over when she opened her eyes
She was young and so different back then.
She was tempted to run from her rehab.
To a place that could let her forget
And hide down a hole where the 'Drink Me' was free
But she stood firm and wasn't there yet.
She felt trapped in her work ever after
And wanted to leave and explore
But each time she tried, she failed and then found
She was back in the salon once more.
Night In The Tabard Inn
She helped out in The Tabard each evening
To avoid all the beatings at home.
She would laugh and play chess with the customers there
But despite this felt very alone.
She returned to her home just past midnight
A place that she hated and feared
Her husband was up and waiting for her
With eyes that stared back and looked weird.
She said nothing on entering the hallway
Then said she was going to bed.
He breathed a big sigh and then he spoke out
And these are his words that he said:
- I went to The Tabard this evening
To swap drink for the Watchmaker's gold.
I wanted to make you a ring for our love
Now I'm back and I'm wet and I'm cold.
Later That Night At Home
She ignored her fifth husband's advances
And reached for some whisky instead
Then with scissors in hand came a voice from her heart
It was his turn to hear "Off with his head!"
Still hope we can cope
With the nope
Don’t give a damn plan
From that Tandoori tan
Obscene Tangerine dope
Jackanory Mandarin Man
That trope..like to be Pope
Go out on a limb..got the vim..scope
To make him of the grim...dim..whim..mope
Just give Mr Grope enough Rope
Opined women..a frump
If they mind.. some bump & grind
Half inching while pinching their rump
The darkness descends
Besotted with anything cosseted
Rotted or garrotted by design
But sign on the dotted line
Raise a 'Stein" of wine
Knaves..slaves.. saved
From the craze & blaze
Of this moral maze & haze
Extinguished by depraved waves
From distinguished graves
Denies his demise is nigh
Popularity sky high he lies
Bliss as the remiss abyss
Of hiss and diss ends
Thanks to a sly bit of
Wry Fab Four rapport
No not you say hello...but yes I say goodbye
Off with his head the French might have said
Cos we've read we'll get by instead
With a little help from his (dead) friends
You steal my chips
and sip from my best
teacup's brim. You pinch
my thunder just to hear the
applause begin. My learned
friend, your record's known, or so
they say. The evidence grows stronger
every passing day. You throw punchlines
long before I've reached the twist. You
drink my stories before they've had time
to persist. You leap through pauses like a barrister
sniffing flaws. Then smile politely, resting smugly
on applause. The clerk cries, "Order!" Robes
begin their stately sway. The judge sighs, "We hear this selfsame
case every day." The jury nods without the slightest
hesitation. "He always gives the verdict before the
conversation." The verdict comes: "Guilty — beyond all
reasonable doubt!" The charge: "Stealing endings -
Butting in, throughout! The charge: Sentence theft
by constant interruption! The culprit pleads:
"Your Honour, mercy! I've mouths to feed!"
The judge interrupts, "There! You've done
it yet again, indeed." "Kindly let the
speaker finish... before you finish
the sentence." "For the crime of
finishing sentences....... Your
Sentence shall never be finished."
"Off with his Head!."
"Off with his Head!."
.
Two Nuns travel through Europe by car
Guided by the heavens North Star
Transylvania they reach
Hymn singing they preach
Not realizing they have come so far
At a busy junction they now stop
The red light is about to colour swap
Then out of the night
A most scaring sight
Onto their bonnet Dracula did drop
Sister Francine to Sister Helen said
On with the wipers, off with his head
Darn, that never worked
On this darkly toothed berk
He's hanging on, foot down, of they sped
What shall I do, Sister Francine says
Sister Helen shouts, window wiper spray
At the Vatican I filled
It's heavenly chilled
This time he's sure to go away
The Holy Water now having been yield
Has the demons fate now been sealed
To rid of this dross
Please show him your cross
Get the **** off the windshield!
~*~ This piece has been turned into a Limerick from a joke doing the rounds ~*~
(any resemblance to the following and
living persons iz purely coincidental)
Family, friends, and
strangers didst weep
when my brutally
murdered gagged and
bound distended corpse
put to eternal sleep
unbeknownst to homicide deep
pill lore hubble
killer, said murderer,
would sow what he did reap
on the deadly war holy jeep
purrs, cow path
this angry ghost
effortlessly held scented rag
to choke, a keep
sake squeezing out breath
from my corporeal flesh
with maggots didst creep
still adrip when bled,
to death, now enshrouded
in black hoodie,
and scythe leant lee
cackled with grateful dread
enroute to pay the
killer man moments ago
took hoof on
horse back fled
in hot pursuit destination,
albeit unknown,
yet aye twill find
trumpeting psychopath,
and quickly dismember
off with his head,
thus equipped with
keen bloodhound find
ding needle in hay
stack instinctive second nature
vengeance casually,
I hapt lee ghoul
lucky did allay
fresh trail scented out lay
boring haphazard way
word ness after gray
beard i.e. yours
truly he did slay
no matter wiseacre, may
be goot headstart, said jay
bird haint gonna
be twittering furlong,
cuz tell trail (and tail) flay
ming signs, he didst betray
noon the wiser hoo ray
bethought to brush
meticulously (cover) tracks
over most likely today
will merely (and merrily delay)
this phantom of neigh (nee)
and dearth all giving away
hideout, now tis
my turn, I didst inveigh
asper his final "say"
perhaps with ghost to
(gusto) hollering as no weigh
to hex press me excitement
thrusting sword
into his heart yay!
Interpret this - you psychotic, sociopathic snake
I wish everything in your world to crumble and break
You're the most f--king illogical sad excuse for a soul I've ever seen
It would be, "off with his head!" if I were ever a Queen
You don't even try to get out of your f--king box
You and your ex BOTH are as dumb as a box of rocks
You're egotistical, prideful, lustful, fake, and so damn sh--ty
Let's not forget the year of 2019 when you first ever hit me
I hate the way you don't even try S--T
But tonight I think I'm finally over it. I quit. You're so dumb
You have no common sense or logic and refuse to explore another perception
You always think its about right or wrong, and you see it as rejection and negative
You're like a flopped and recalled sedative.
You'll say what you're gonna do - and women - he'll f--k other girls all over you
He's the biggest Hellhound Dog I've ever seen
But he's mostly all bark - and at first he won't seem mean
'Cause he's the one who starts it all
Despite what he says, he'll never catch you when you begin to fall
Hello, ladies and gentlemen you've come to see
This circle jester that can't seem to want you - but refuses to let you be free
We can never fix this - there's no way out
Go bring your incest-ass back to the South
I'm over this s--t, I'm done with it
'Cause his f--king mouth ain't gonna quit - I'm seriously over this s--t
I wanna leave so bad right now - how's he allowed to be alive right now - how?