Long Nitty gritty Poems
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Electroconvulsive therapy,
a last ditch avail
able effort optioned, aye bewail
as desperation if standard
psychological measures peter
out leave ving paul tree
(paltry) choice, and blackmail
ling Doctor Frankenstein
out of the question, cuz
accidental discover re:
visa vis could yield (ahem) grave
zero APR, hence bad
(bon jovian) medicine
sought as precautionary
measure to countervail
undesirable repercussions
hoop fully curtail
ling any unexpected derail
ment, thus every nitty gritty detail,
asper my treatment plan
made purposely intractable
courtesy Matthew Scott Harris,
to flummox decrypting
this daunting task, whose
hair brained scheme didst entail
hatching with Sam I am
(of Doctor Zeus fame)...Oh...My...G___
egg gads no fail-
safe recourse, should shell shock
Electroconvulsive – formerly electric shock
therapy even slip an infinitesimal jot
offsetting requisite
exactly predicted results
yes, even if precision errs
by a mere clipped fingernail...
the sought after outcome
(devised on the fly - by night
Reddit writer above named author)
must absolutely dovetail
with The Elements of Style
or very close
facsimile thereof, anyway
strict requirements quality controlled
with results tubby
sent as email
to Strunk and White,
who will flail
like some GMO gone awry
(if patient accidentally electrocuted)
finding them to become
instantaneously petrified and frail
looking analogous to
witnessing the Holy Grail
shattering into a bajillion pieces,
whereby the heavens,
would reign hail
scaring every last man,
woman, and child to hightail
donned in heavy duty boots
studded with many a hobnail
with duff feet, sans long arm of
law and order on their heels,
and if any scapegoats nabbed
definitely consigned to jail
without chance of parole to prevail
no matter guilty might sail
to some tropical island awash
with countless carbon copies
of Euell Gibbons doppelganger,
and Swiss Alpine like mountains to scale.
I solemnly received my first toilet auger
As if it were a knight’s well-tempered sword.
It meant I’d passed my ninety-day audition,
And seemed to me a suitable reward.
And so began my tenure working maintenance
In the nasty nitty gritty of a toxic circumstance.
But I’d scored a small apartment, living duty-free,
So, it was time for starting over’s second chance.
A thousand plus apartments needed tending.
When a work ticket printed, I called dibs.
Seventy buildings built of brick and dreams.
I was privy to the skivvy in all those skeevy cribs.
I’ve encountered many silent tribal totems:
Hindu murti, Christian chi rho, Muslim script.
But no matter the religion of the trouble call,
For every useful purpose, I came suitably equipped.
There were feral cats, roaches, and bedbugs
Infesting hoarders’ floorspace wall-to-wall.
I dealt as best I could with the detritus,
But my biggest stress was over-night on-call.
While paying the price of complete independence
I may sometimes have hammered my thumb.
Though I may be a hack in the handyman trade,
I conducted my final campaign as my army of one.
And I came off a winner.
I've been doin' time, sittin in this jail cell for too long.
Yea, I made mistakes because I was headstrong
when I killed Isabelle, but it's what she deserved.
She ran off with my coke and money. That was wrong.
I want outta prison. Enough years have been served.
She was sent to New Orleans just to shut me down.
I ruled like I was a king, a legend in my hometown.
But that greedy French chick stole from me and fled
to New York. Did she think I was clowning around?
I knew I'd find her there, and soon she'd end up dead.
That's where Moon Knight found me to make a deal.
He was lookin for my contact, but I wouldn't squeal.
I got the best of him and knocked him into the river
after overpowering him with my muscles of steel.
He wanted my contact information, but I didn't deliver.
I found Isabelle and kept her doped up for five days,
Shot her up with drugs until her mind was in a haze.
She told me what she'd done with my coke and money,
then I stabbed her until she was dead, her eyes agaze.
That was payback, but that woman was smooth as honey.
I dumped her body on the Westside and felt no pity.
I was in a hurry to get back home to Mardi Gras in the city.
The plan was to make raids when people were at parades.
While the cops were busy, I'd get down to the nitty-gritty
then high tail it outta town and hide out in the Everglades.
But Moon Knight and his pal Frenchie, were on my trail.
They wanted to capture me before my tracks got stale,
and found me at the Fair Grounds, betting on a horse.
Tearing up a losing ticket I'd bet on a nag of a bangtail.
I fought them off and got away using strength and force.
I took shelter in a warehouse a block from Jackson Square
but there was no escaping again when they found me there.
I wasn't gonna go down easy and had my ice pick ready.
Moon Knight broke my jaw, throwing a punch with fanfare.
It brought me to my knees when my legs became unsteady.
When I'm outta this hell hole, I swear I'm gonna get even.
Been shut up in jail too long and tired of all the grievin.'
Moon Knight hasn't seen the last of Cajun Creed. Not yet.
Vengeance has kept me sane, because it's what I believe in.
You can put a C note down on that promise. Make that bet!
11/1/2022 ~ Moon Knight Friend or Foe Contest
Sponsored by Robert James Liguori
EXHAUSTED = Ted's all worn out
EMBARRASSES = Them bare asses
CRESCENDO = Toothpaste in your endo
HAPPINESS = Happy with your private male part
PISTOL = Charge for going pee
FOOTAGE = How old is your foot
EDUCATION = Studying while on vacation
FORTUNATE = Ate four tunas
ALTERATIONS = Change rations
INFORMATION = All lined up in a row
REGISTRATE = Reginald is heterosexual
PHOTOGRAPH = Picture of a chart
DICTIONARY = Never shun your private part
CAREER = Back end of a car
EXPOSURE = Formerly poop for sure
WINDOWPANE = Ow that wind is painful
POLITICIANS = A parrot who shuns the limelight
BLOCKBUSTERS = People who get in the way of a bus
ANNIVERSARY = Backside on backwards
CANADIAN = Ian is a good adder
OPPORTUNITY = Oh a poor choice of a nitty gritty tune
PERPETUAL = Average price of pets in the deep south
CENTIPEDES = Price per foot of a cheap pair of shoes
MISCELLANEOUS = A missile aimed at our back end
© Jack Ellison 2014
Whar art mine fervent zeal for Marx Brothers?
While figuratively trout fishing
for ideas to write about
analogous (hook, line and sinker)
idea wormed itself into mind with clout
moment of awareness arose
without shadow of doubt.
As a long haired pencil necked teenage geek
zany Harpo, Groucho, Chico ranked as idols
mine most favorite slap stick until I reached
cusp of early adulthood, yet of lately uptick
regarding said comedic acts unexpectedly a
rose, spurring me to revisit adolescent mem
rubble entertainers overarching unstoppable
nostalgic ache for their nonpareil antics did
pang ping pong within mine corporeal esse
Scents trademarked and christened Matthew
Scott Harris, somewhat alleviated watching
courtesy Internet random You Bet Your Life
momentarily experiencing giddiness bursting
with laughter - shy kid relishing hearing quip
lightning fast barbs oft imitated sporting his
greasepaint moustache nsync with cigar size
of small walking stick renown world over an
American iconic figure (+entire motley crew)
lively bunch post World War II boys groomed
since birth begat Minnie Marx (born Miene
Schönberg, 9 November 1864 or 1865 – 13
September 1929) mother and manager of the
Marx Brothers, a family of vaudevillians,
Broadway and film actors, she dominated
band of five boisterous and hilarious brothers
who dominated silver screen more'n nearly 3
4ths century ago sired by patriarch Sam Marx.
No particular rhyme nor reason explains why
aforementioned nitty gritty personal trivia thy
actually more accurately & specifically yours
truly metaphorically unexpectedly did qualify
as teetotaling poetaster to craft poem well nigh
acknowledge inexplicable passion regarding my
heartfelt affection constituting zany wily troupe
linkedin with baker's dozen films iterated wild
3 ringed circus antics did all these years schtick
well lodged within me noggin + gamut of stars
whose career launched during quaint silent film
era albeit (Betzwood, one time, between 1912
and 1924), one of the largest film studios in the
world located in downtown Philadelphia and
their studio lot in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania,
right next to the park, I kid ye not, and... take
look see for yourself by visiting following link.
https://americasbesthistory.com/
spotlight2017-11.html
Now a days girls don’t treasure their virginity,
Let’s get down to the nitty- gritty,
I find it to be quit witty,
I don’t have to worry about having slept with the whole city,
I don’t have to worry about having any kiddies,
I know that the man I will marry will love me for more than just my titties,
I can actually have a reason on my wedding night to be gitty,
It’s really something no one needs to pity,
I am thinking of starting my own virgin committee,
I bet pressure would be taken off the girls in all the inner-cities,
Just maybe guys would respect woman again for more than just being pretty.
By:Sabina Nicole
Contest: Secret
Written:8/28/11
I'm writing in despondence,
Perhaps seeking your indulgence,
Let's talk about this boy,
Let's be their life-buoy,
Big boys are now crying,
They are at a verge of dying,
They're all subject to oblivion,
Very soon going to extinction,
Today I'm speaking for the lad,
Do not say I'm a biased bard,
Where's the manhood glory,
All troddened and treated lowly,
To day I'm writing to the men,
Pushing on to the gentlemen,
Let's be a little magnanimous,
All you hear ain't rumours,
We've lost everything masculine,
The all world is now feminine,
The rain is heavily beating us,
Our own are licking the ****,
Let's go to the drawing board,
There are lots of things aboard,
Lets check the nitty gritty,
It's time to avoid the fishy,
@Tha Formidable Cheru.
#themonk.
I am very, very, very
Fond of riding on the ferry.
There’s no traffic on the river,
So it’s easy to deliver
All the riders when expected
From the boats they have selected.
Up on top, the ride is breezy,
But in any seat, it’s easy
To gaze out at your surroundings
While the vessel’s leaps and boundings
Take you all around the city
For a taste of nitty-gritty.
Passengers of all persuasions
Ride for various occasions –
Workers heading to employment,
Tourist seeking pure enjoyment.
People-watching is rewarding.
Check out strangers while they’re boarding.
Hear the accents from their nations;
Eavesdrop on some conversations.
Ditch the subway, bus or taxi;
Turn your mini journey maxi
And your mood from tense to merry.
Hop on board a New York ferry!
Tritina (three tercets with one final line).
I will return as you taught me to read a god gifted total benign, even after nine
I will return as you taught me to see the specific Night of Knight M Shyamalan
I will return as you taught me to listen to the nitty gritty a lot, and the system
told the family sift an autistic family food, Trying dough for far too long in frame
They are class of mishaps, birds of the same feather and you are a linear secular
practice along one way, the other one is pedagogy of monolithic behavioral norm
I told time as I wrote once a power point key. Did commit a tavern charm
Time elapses and time begins, and time stamps the truest may, say so and so.
Time has her graceful heed to vilify the cover page elsewhere, to May to mow.
They blew the divine up, with the silentmost Neon light, landed, to reach for the show!
The Fifties were really and truly not all that square
Though that dullard Dwight D. sat in the Executive Chair
And his frumpy wife Mamie had really bad hair
Matching those dowdy, plain dresses she'd wear ...
While husbands toiled in obscurity for large corporations
The "Ugly Americans," reviled by most other nations
Their stay-at-home wives feeling mostly frustration
Downing "happing pills" daily instead of real medication
Their sons sporting letter sweaters, obedient jocks,
Their daughters in plaid skirts and white bobby socks
Penny loafers and saddle shoes were in for ten years
Along with white levis and coca-cola -- never rum, never beer
Yet how about Krushchev's dust-ups with Tricky Dick Nixon
What about Sputnik 1 and the panic it put us in
And remember George Wallace and old Lester Maddux
Hosing down *******, echoes of Crispus Attucks ...
The rise of brutal pro football threatened apple pie and baseball
Heralding the next decade's premiere spectator sport, i.e., 'spaceball'
Joe McCarthy dug up the dirt of a "red scare's" nitty gritty
In the work of the House un-American Activities Committee
Then there was Rosa Parks refusing to sit in the back of the bus
Championing the yearning for justice in so many of us
And the music, the music, so outrageously wild
Chuck Berry, Richie Valens, the Big Bopper -- that overgrown child
Yes, the Fifties were really and truly not all that square
Though we shan't heed the call of those who'd return us to there